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This is such a religious topic, but here is my 2 cents...
A proper winder should not cause more wear to a modern watch. Get one which is well made so it is shielded magnetically and with programmable TPD to match your movement and you should be fine. You should not overwind the watch but a programmable winder should take care of it. Remember that your watch will need service regardless if it is running or not.
My take on it is that constantly setting the watch, especially for watch with a screw down crown, it may actually do more harm to the screw threads. I think that was why Rolex made the Oyster watches an automatic watch.
But honestly, I don't think it matters in the end since your watch is supposed to go back into service every X years anyway. During service, any worn out parts should have been replaced.
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