[Kensk]

My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening. Having been burgled in the past, we turned on an outside night light and put the cat outside. When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted between our legs, ran inside and then upstairs. Because our cat likes to chase our budgie, we didn't want to leave the cat in the house so my husband ran inside to retrieve her and put her in the back yard again.

Because I didn't want the taxi driver to know our house was empty all evening, I explained to him that my husband was just bidding my mother goodnight.

A few minutes later he got into the cab all hot and bothered and said

"Sorry it took so long but the stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her in the arse with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck and wrapped her in a blanket so she couldn't scratch me like she did the last time. But it worked! I hauled her fat arse down the stairs and threw her out into the back yard......she better not sh*t in the vegatable garden again."

The silence in the taxi was deafening.