Okay, so I was in Canadian Tire and decided to change careers.
I bought some car wax and a power washer and now I am happy to brag that I am the most expensive auto detailer in town.
Yep, I charge $1,000 per car, but hey, people feel better about themselves if they pay more for what is essentially a $20 job. If they pay more, they figure they're getting more (but they're not). I pay illegal immigrants $1 a day to help me out, and I pocket the rest of the proceeds so I can pay for my lavish lifestyle.
I just bought a used Mercedes S class cuz I wannabe perceived as a successful business man. I think people who buy used luxury cars are wannabe posers, but hey… who said
my rules have to apply to
me, right?
So with all this money I’m making, I buy only the
best watches, wear the
best clothing, eat the
best food (and lots of it cuz I like flexing my fat to people for ‘intimidation purposes’) and I bought my wife the
best boobs money can buy. What can I say? I'm the
best!
Yep, I’m a big shot now.
Sorry though, I can’t hire any of you guys… you may leak my corporate secrets to other detailers and then I’d have to
ban you from my premises.
BTW, I also like to lie to people's faces, particularly those who can be baffled by the constant BS I spew about my technical abilities on a computer.
Ain’t life grand?