Somebody Stole My Car
A drunk staggers up to a cop and says, "Somebody stole my car." The cop says, "Where was it?" The drunk holds out his arm and says, "At the end of this key." The cop says, "Well, you'll have to report it at the station. But first, zip up your fly." The drunk looks down and says, "Oh, man, they got my girlfriend, too."
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