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Go for the 31 mm, not dainty and not like custom jewelry. Sounds like she would like the understated elegance of a classic design with the SS DJ, plus a little of the pop and flash from the diamond indexes. Check out the various dials besides just the black or white, including mother of pearls which will have to been seen to get the subtle colors and light reflections, some are dramatically nice. However, between black or white from your inquiry, I would suggest white in keeping with the understated elegance.
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