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I’ve been married 31 years and marriage is no picnic. It’s a lot of work. We’ve had our ups and downs and have thought about divorce quite often during this down times. I am glad I rode out those down times because right now things are pretty good (but who knows about the future : )
My advice, stop feeding into the arguments and look at yourself and why you feel the need to be right or to win. It takes two to argue. And by the way, I am sure she doesn’t want to argue any more than you do.
I was having work issues as well and arguing a bit. I read Dale Carnegie’s book ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’. I actually listened to it on audio. I took what I learned from it and used it in my marriage and think it really helped.
Things like, why you always think what you have to say is more important than the other person? Do you hear what they are really saying or only listening so you can get your turn to give your two cents.
Anyway, the more I fixed myself the more things got better for both of us.
Most definitely time apart it good too. For two years (a few years back) my wife stayed at her mothers during the week and came home on weekends. It was a nice break and it helped us to miss and appreciate each other more.
Even this past winter I stayed out back a lot in the cottage/garage thing we have. And it wasn’t because of fighting, it just worked out that way.
Men and women are different and have different priorities and ways about us. It’s kind of surprising how we put up with each other for as long as we do.
Kids: we used to fight about raising our daughter but she’s been on her own for almost 6yrs now...and we only argue a little about her : )
I would say my wife would keeps arguments going and needs the last word. I gave up fighting for the last word after year 5, I think. And I forget every argument 10mins after it’s over. I let everything go and refuse to argue about it later, she can win every time, I always seem to get the do what I want when I want and get to buy what I want as well.
Happy wife, happy life.
Good luck, what a crazy adventure life is!
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