Council complaints

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COUNCIL COMPLAINTS
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THESE ARE GENUINE CLIPS FROM COUNCIL COMPLAINT LETTERS:


1: Mybush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing.

2: He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house, and i just can't take anymore.

3: Its the dog mess i find hard to swallow.

4: I want some repairs done to my cooker, as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

5: I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his
back passage.

6: And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

7: I wish to complain that the tiles are missing from my outside toilet roof. I think it was the bad
wind the other night that blew them off.

8: My lavatory is cracked, where do i stand?

9: I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

10: Will you please send someone to mend the garden path, my wife tripped and fell on it
yesterday and now she is pregnant.

11: I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

12: 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.

13: I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

14: The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

15: Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

16: Our lavatory seat is broken in half, and now split into 3 pieces.

17: I wish to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes
me up, and its now gettin too much for me!

18: The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

19: Our kitchen floor is damp, we have 2 children and would like a 3rd so please send someone
round to do something about it.

20: I am a single women living in a downstairs flat, and would you please do something about the
noise made by the man of top of me every night.

21: Please send a man round with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

22: I have had the clerk of works down on the floor 6 times, but i still get no satisfaction.

23: This is to let you know our lavatory seat is broken and we still cant get bbc2.

[Bangel]

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