ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

c3pastor · 23 February 2016, 02:28 AM

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots ("P") and solutions recorded ("S") by maintenance engineers:

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Rockrolex · 23 February 2016, 02:31 AM

Psmith · 23 February 2016, 02:48 AM

swatty · 23 February 2016, 07:05 AM

cdmorenot · 23 February 2016, 07:19 AM

lmfaooooooooo. Oh my God, I just spit my coffee out.

Frosty · 23 February 2016, 07:46 AM

That is good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jayhawk1 · 23 February 2016, 08:25 AM

UPS really must be feeling threatened nowadays;-)

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

mjclark32 · 23 February 2016, 08:28 AM

hahahaa

hsfrank · 23 February 2016, 08:50 AM

Luv it. Very funny.

bdex75 · 23 February 2016, 10:18 AM

Those damn midgets with hammers. Ha

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

seand442 · 23 February 2016, 10:58 AM

I laugh every time I read this.

Hairdude1 · 23 February 2016, 04:56 PM

DCgator · 23 February 2016, 07:59 PM

Too funny!

MonBK · 23 February 2016, 08:38 PM

Very funny.

Tri-Tip · 24 February 2016, 05:00 AM

An oldie but a goodie.

sahcivan · 25 February 2016, 01:57 AM

That's brilliant :) :)

Runfar · 25 February 2016, 09:24 AM

Haaaaa

Rebel · 25 February 2016, 11:49 AM

subtona · 25 February 2016, 12:19 PM

23 February 2016, 02:28 AM	#1
c3pastor 2024 ROLEX DATEJUST41 Pledge Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: Whitman Toland Location: Summerfield, NC Watch: MillyGV, SD, SD4K Posts: 296	UPS Flight Crew Reports Problems... After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots ("P") and solutions recorded ("S") by maintenance engineers: P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit S: Something tightened in cockpit P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget

23 February 2016, 02:31 AM	#2
Rockrolex TRF Moderator & 2024 DATE-JUST41 Patron Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: God Location: Washington, D.C. Watch: What do you think? Posts: 37,655	__________________ Despite the high cost of living, it's still very popular. *Tosser Cabinet Member* Official Member: 'Perpetual 30' Vegas International GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2018 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2019

23 February 2016, 02:48 AM	#3
Psmith "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Clive Location: Exoplanet Watch: spring-driven Posts: 38,856	__________________

23 February 2016, 07:19 AM	#5
cdmorenot 2024 ROLEX DATEJUST41 X2 Pledge Member Join Date: Jun 2015 Real Name: Carlos Location: NNJ - MDE Watch: Rolex & Omega Posts: 3,430	lmfaooooooooo. Oh my God, I just spit my coffee out. __________________ 16570, 224270, 126610, 126334

23 February 2016, 07:46 AM	#6
Frosty "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2009 Real Name: Larry Location: So Cal Watch: Rolex GMT 1675 Posts: 5,084	That is good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ “Anyone can be sarcastic; it takes intelligence to solve a problem!”

23 February 2016, 07:05 AM	#4
swatty 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,409

23 February 2016, 08:25 AM	#7
Jayhawk1 "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2013 Real Name: Al Location: SE MI Watch: SubC Posts: 41	UPS really must be feeling threatened nowadays;-) P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

23 February 2016, 08:28 AM	#8
mjclark32 "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Real Name: MJC Location: PHL USA Watch: IWC, Rolex, AP Posts: 29,232	hahahaa __________________

23 February 2016, 08:50 AM	#9
hsfrank "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Herbert Frank Location: Middletown,De Watch: President Posts: 1,641	Luv it. Very funny. __________________ Time and Tide wait for no man Rolex Cellini 4133 Tudor North Flag HERS: Rolex TTDJ

23 February 2016, 10:18 AM	#10
bdex75 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2011 Real Name: Brandon Location: Indianapolis Watch: my money vanish Posts: 8,506	Those damn midgets with hammers. Ha Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

23 February 2016, 10:58 AM	#11
seand442 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Earth Watch: 116610 Posts: 3,455	I laugh every time I read this. __________________ NEVER ARGUE WITH AN IDIOT. FIRST THEY WILL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL. THEN, THEY WILL BEAT YOU WITH EXPERIENCE.

23 February 2016, 04:56 PM	#12
Hairdude1 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Alex Location: Chicago Watch: AP,PP, Rolex Posts: 37,156	__________________ Instagram: @Hairdude Watches in Collection 5070R, 5522A, 214270 MK1, 228238 16750, 26401, 5711, 116718, 116710LN, 116300, 16710"Coke", 372, 15300, 15703 (All Flipped) Official Member "Perpetual 30" Las Vegas GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member 'WIS-CON' Las Vegas Int'l GTG 2018

23 February 2016, 07:59 PM	#13
DCgator "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: PNW Watch: DS,BLNR,SubLV,DJ2 Posts: 8,123	Too funny!

23 February 2016, 08:38 PM	#14
MonBK Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kingstown Posts: 58,280	Very funny.

24 February 2016, 05:00 AM	#15
Tri-Tip "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: CA, USA Watch: Out!!! Posts: 6,425	An oldie but a goodie.

25 February 2016, 01:57 AM	#16
sahcivan Banned Join Date: Jan 2016 Location: UK Watch: ing you watch me Posts: 636	That's brilliant :) :)

25 February 2016, 09:24 AM	#17
Runfar "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Colorado Posts: 337	Haaaaa

25 February 2016, 11:49 AM	#18
Rebel "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Real Name: Dr Mark R Nail Location: New Albany Watch: Tudor Sub 75090 Posts: 8,082	__________________ ------------------------------- Member of the Nylon Nation

25 February 2016, 12:19 PM	#19
subtona "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Real Name: gus Location: East Coast Watch: APK & sometimes Y Posts: 26,097	__________________

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)