Bipolar disorder

[blassy]

I have a feeling there is some underlying trauma that has recently been triggered.
In one of her texts, she wrote...
"It's never been like this for me and I'm too overwhelmed to even talk about it right now"
I also know she's hinted at something from her childhood but has never brought it up. I suspect something may have triggered something but again...I'm just a guy doing my best.
I can't make her talk about anything she doesn't want to. She's always been easily overwhelmed. For context - until this recent job...she's been a stay at home mom for 12 years. I also worked from home and do all the cooking and we paid for a cleaning lady. I've tried to make her life easier. Month long vacations every christmas to Florida,
and many trips throughout the years. She's focused mostly on running and mental health. Represented Canada in the world Triathlon championships in Ibiza this past spring, and recently had a personal best marathon time locally of 3:14 which will qualified her to run the Berlin marathon in the fall. She's also run Boston among others.
I should mention all this travel, coaching, equipment (shoes are 300 dollars plus and she goes through them in a couple months), physio therapy etc...all funded by me.
She's had a good life which feeds some of my frustration. I tell myself this isn't my wife right now, but at some point that won't be enough.

[Madman37]

I know its easy to say but my daughter is autistic and we go to this autistic group its only for women. You see some how are quite far on the spectrum get on with much younger people at the group.

Also some of them behave in a way that can lock the whole household where they take over part of the house for weeks or end up trying to take their life.

I wonder if going to somebody who is a marriage counsellor but also a trauma specialist would help. Not that you need marriage counselling but you could say to your other half we need to go because of problems you have. Just to not blame her. It means you go together and then if you brief the counsellor he/she could get to the heart of the issue or trauma.

I know its easy for us to tell you what to do so apologies for this. But just know you are definitely doing amazing just supporting her. If we just left people because they are tough do deal with because of things they cant control the world would be a really rubbish place. Also i think you are showing a great example to your kids that you dont just walk away when things get hard. Instead you stand and help your family.

[xrole]

Originally Posted by blassy

I should mention all this travel, coaching, equipment (shoes are 300 dollars plus and she goes through them in a couple months), physio therapy etc...all funded by me.
She's had a good life which feeds some of my frustration. I tell myself this isn't my wife right now, but at some point that won't be enough.

Sounds like a completely one-sided, emotionally vampiric relationship. You are effectively wasting the best years of your life supporting her needs while your own are neglected. Worse, you are doing it voluntarily and consciously while wallowing in your own misery and self-pity about the situation. Time to wake up my man.

What are you going to do about her access to your accounts, will you take precautions?

[Maleg]

Originally Posted by xrole

Sounds like a completely one-sided, emotionally vampiric relationship. You are effectively wasting the best years of your life supporting her needs while your own are neglected. Worse, you are doing it voluntarily and consciously while wallowing in your own misery and self-pity about the situation. Time to wake up my man.

What are you going to do about her access to your accounts, will you take precautions?

We all assume this is his money. We’re only hearing one side. He might be the vampire in this relationship.

Complaining on the internet about buying your wife shoes, and how much they cost, is not a good look. Her lawyer will eat these posts up.

[xrole]

Originally Posted by Maleg

We all assume this is his money. We’re only hearing one side. He might be the vampire in this relationship.

Well clearly all we have his his word and he has written that he is funding everything through his job. What else did you read that suggests it is otherwise?

Originally Posted by Maleg

Complaining on the internet about buying your wife shoes, and how much they cost, is not a good look. Her lawyer will eat these posts up.

Complaining on the internet in a community you feel a part of is never "a bad look", the guy clearly does not have many other places to vent and I think you are just projecting your own insecurities here. Also how will his wife's future theoretical lawyer find his posts here? No names or personal identities are mentioned.

[KatGirl]

Originally Posted by -dustin

Glad to see this. Gives me hope.

Don't really ever talk to my wife about stuff on the internets, but had to tell her about this thread. She teared up seeing some of the responses. She's been through a lot, and it's been a long road to recovery (17 months now). I know she wouldn't have chosen her path, and as long as she's doing what she can to control it, and heal, I'm not going anywhere.

Hope y'all find the help y'all need.

Well said Dustin. Frankly, I’m bothered by the guys who are advising Chris to cut and run. He promised to love , honor, and cherish, “in sickness and in health, til death do us part.” Also, they have children. Life is hard sometimes. It sounds to me like he has a plan, and will not give up on her, unless absolutely necessary. I will pray for a good outcome for this family.

Kat


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[Lesnerelli23]

Originally Posted by blassy

I have a feeling there is some underlying trauma that has recently been triggered.
In one of her texts, she wrote...
"It's never been like this for me and I'm too overwhelmed to even talk about it right now"
I also know she's hinted at something from her childhood but has never brought it up. I suspect something may have triggered something but again...I'm just a guy doing my best.
I can't make her talk about anything she doesn't want to. She's always been easily overwhelmed. For context - until this recent job...she's been a stay at home mom for 12 years. I also worked from home and do all the cooking and we paid for a cleaning lady. I've tried to make her life easier. Month long vacations every christmas to Florida,
and many trips throughout the years. She's focused mostly on running and mental health. Represented Canada in the world Triathlon championships in Ibiza this past spring, and recently had a personal best marathon time locally of 3:14 which will qualified her to run the Berlin marathon in the fall. She's also run Boston among others.
I should mention all this travel, coaching, equipment (shoes are 300 dollars plus and she goes through them in a couple months), physio therapy etc...all funded by me.
She's had a good life which feeds some of my frustration. I tell myself this isn't my wife right now, but at some point that won't be enough.

As I had stated in my previous post, this line of thinking (an early childhood trauma) is probably the most plausible.

It sounds like she’s been able to focus that energy into her running but it could be that one of your children’s ages is the age she was when her trauma occurred…. Or, even the ages of her young coworkers. I mean, she may have experienced something that ruined those years for her.

When she’s connecting to people who may be living in that section of life, it brings up that part of her personality. Whether it be young adults or your children’s age, she may be flooded right now with huge mental barriers from a different time in her life.

Of course this is all educated speculation based on what you given us. In clinical psych class it would be called a “case study”.

Lastly, I’m very sorry to hear you’ve lost a brother to suicide. I did too, schizophrenic as well…. ;


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[ecbkk]

its borderline personality disorder (BPD) not bipolar

Originally Posted by blassy

So kind of at my wits end, and just looking for advice anywhere I can get it.
My wife who has always struggled with anxiety disorder, has had a rather dramatic behavioral change over the last few months.
She suddenly stopped sleeping and was always in her phone. Soon found out she was incessantly texting some 25 year old boy she works with (she's 48) because he was showing her lots of attention.
Suddenly the obsession grew - googling things like "how should I list my crush in my phone". I honestly thought it was my 12 year old daughter doing it. Her texting not only with him, but all her new friends became a frenzy. Up until 2 or 3 am and back at it for 7am.
For comparison - she sent 70 text messages in August. In November it was over 1500.
Then the spending started. Found out she took out a credit card in just her name in August when I found a bill under one of her pillows. She's managed to run it up to 22K in just 4 months. New obsession is the hair salon....goes two to 3 times a week and last month was over 500 dollars. Last night spent 3K on concert tickets for her and our daughters without discussing it. I've brought it up many many many times, but explaining there's something wrong or asking if she needs help or telling her I'm worried about her...falls on deaf ears.
I've learned you can't help someone who doesn't want it.
Our family doc thinks her anxiety meds have been masking a bipolar disorder for years.
At a loss right now but wondering if anyone out there has had experience with this in a loved one.

[learningtofly]

Originally Posted by KatGirl

Well said Dustin. Frankly, I’m bothered by the guys who are advising Chris to cut and run. He promised to love , honor, and cherish, “in sickness and in health, til death do us part.” Also, they have children. Life is hard sometimes. It sounds to me like he has a plan, and will not give up on her, unless absolutely necessary. I will pray for a good outcome for this family.

Kat


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Agreed. Some very sketchy comments and advice IMO.

[ecbkk]

some resources to understand borderline personality disorder

google "Wendell H. Biggins bpd quora" and "nicola method bpd"

once you read it you'll understand why you must cut and run. You have been "devalued" and "split black" (the words in quotation marks are the psychological terms)

Your loyalty and reliability is why you were targeted by your wife for marriage. she IDed you as a co-dependent (psychology term)

that fairytale romance you first experienced with her was mirroring and idealization phase of BPD repetition compulsion cycle. The false persona you thought was your wife never really existed, it was a character created by mirroring your best traits. Your wife is already mirroring her new target (the young man) and adopting his lifestyle and mannerisms, hobbies, and interests. The persona you thought you wife was never really existed and will never return no matter how much therapy or medication or treatment she receives.

those people here advising you to stand by her side have good intentions but are clueless about the psychology and mental illness involved. do not listen to these clueless well intentioned people.

You are in grave danger of being falsely reported to the police and falsely accused or a victim of homicide.

see also, johnny depp vs amber heard

Originally Posted by blassy

So kind of at my wits end, and just looking for advice anywhere I can get it.
My wife who has always struggled with anxiety disorder, has had a rather dramatic behavioral change over the last few months.
She suddenly stopped sleeping and was always in her phone. Soon found out she was incessantly texting some 25 year old boy she works with (she's 48) because he was showing her lots of attention.
Suddenly the obsession grew - googling things like "how should I list my crush in my phone". I honestly thought it was my 12 year old daughter doing it. Her texting not only with him, but all her new friends became a frenzy. Up until 2 or 3 am and back at it for 7am.
For comparison - she sent 70 text messages in August. In November it was over 1500.
Then the spending started. Found out she took out a credit card in just her name in August when I found a bill under one of her pillows. She's managed to run it up to 22K in just 4 months. New obsession is the hair salon....goes two to 3 times a week and last month was over 500 dollars. Last night spent 3K on concert tickets for her and our daughters without discussing it. I've brought it up many many many times, but explaining there's something wrong or asking if she needs help or telling her I'm worried about her...falls on deaf ears.
I've learned you can't help someone who doesn't want it.
Our family doc thinks her anxiety meds have been masking a bipolar disorder for years.
At a loss right now but wondering if anyone out there has had experience with this in a loved one.

[Krash]

Originally Posted by KatGirl

Frankly, I’m bothered by the guys who are advising Chris to cut and run. He promised to love , honor, and cherish, “in sickness and in health, til death do us part.” Also, they have children. Life is hard sometimes. It sounds to me like he has a plan, and will not give up on her, unless absolutely necessary. I will pray for a good outcome for this family.

Kat


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I agree with the bad advice on this thread.

There is the "love, honor, and cherish, in sickness and in health, til death do us part" aspect. That is true, but there are other big factors, too.

DO NOT LEAVE without talking to a lawyer first. I have seen several acquaintances and former co-workers totally screwed over by divorce. Losing custody of their children, child support, alimony, losing their home, losing half their net worth... These guys went from living high on the hog to barely getting by...So, you have to be careful...Some guys won't give a crap about all that. They're okay with it and just want to get out of their marriage. For others, it's a huge problem.

Then you might have to deal with your daughters having a stepdad. Some of you on here might be a stepdad, and I mean no disrespect, but that could be a HUGE issue, too.

[Lesnerelli23]

Originally Posted by ecbkk

some resources to understand borderline personality disorder

google "Wendell H. Biggins bpd quora" and "nicola method bpd"

once you read it you'll understand why you must cut and run. You have been "devalued" and "split black" (the words in quotation marks are the psychological terms)

Your loyalty and reliability is why you were targeted by your wife for marriage. she IDed you as a co-dependent (psychology term)

that fairytale romance you first experienced with her was mirroring and idealization phase of BPD repetition compulsion cycle. The false persona you thought was your wife never really existed, it was a character created by mirroring your best traits. Your wife is already mirroring her new target (the young man) and adopting his lifestyle and mannerisms, hobbies, and interests. The persona you thought you wife was never really existed and will never return no matter how much therapy or medication or treatment she receives.

those people here advising you to stand by her side have good intentions but are clueless about the psychology and mental illness involved. do not listen to these clueless well intentioned people.

You are in grave danger of being falsely reported to the police and falsely accused or a victim of homicide.

see also, johnny depp vs amber heard

His description doesn’t even come close to meeting DSM criteria for borderline personality


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[ecbkk]

The DSM criteria aren't designed or meant to be used as a stand alone tool for lay people to use like a wikipedia for mental illness.

Its a tool for professionals who use it in combination with training/expertise/clinical experience, i.e. pattern recognition.

I know you are well meaning but the danger here is severe so this rebuke isn't meant to embarrass you for your ignorance but I don't want the OP to be mislead.

Originally Posted by Lesnerelli23

His description doesn’t even come close to meeting DSM criteria for BPD


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[KatGirl]

Originally Posted by Lesnerelli23

His description doesn’t even come close to meeting DSM criteria for borderline personality


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Originally Posted by Lesnerelli23

His description doesn’t even come close to meeting DSM criteria for borderline personality


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Some of it does, as many symptoms of affective disorders do overlap. Having said that, it is totally irresponsible for anyone to try to diagnose someone they have not met, or examined, and even more outrageous, if you are not a medical practitioner, of some kind. I know people are trying to help, but please stop. It sounds like Chris has a plan. Let’s give responsible advice, to someone whose life is in crisis mode. Above all, let’s be kind.

Kat


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[Easy E]

This thread hurts my heart. Op, I sincerely hope you can get the proper help for this situation.

[Speedbird-1]

Originally Posted by Easy E

This thread hurts my heart. Op, I sincerely hope you can get the proper help for this situation.

Totally agree, it's a very painful read.

Had issues in the 80's with my first wife, who was changed, from the kindest sweetest person, to a raving maniac, by HRT after a radical hysterectomy.
Luckily I hired a brilliant, female divorce lawyer who guided me skilfully through the whole sorry mess.

The most important thing, is to protect your children as far as possible, keep them as happy as you can, whatever it takes.

I wish you all the luck possible.

[Jackie Daytona]

I don’t know you or your family but truly wish you the best through this unbelievably trying time in you and your families life. You sound like a pretty solid guy just from the posts here. Having had a family background of quite a few mental issues through the years (not myself, but ever prevalent) I know some of the difficulties and hardship you are going through. Great support and responses through much of this thread from the TRF crowd. Take care of your kids and truly wish you all the best.

[Lesnerelli23]

Originally Posted by ecbkk

The DSM criteria aren't designed or meant to be used as a stand alone tool for lay people to use like a wikipedia for mental illness.

Its a tool for professionals who use it in combination with training/expertise/clinical experience, i.e. pattern recognition.

I know you are well meaning but the danger here is severe so this rebuke isn't meant to embarrass you for your ignorance but I don't want the OP to be mislead.

I’m not embarrassed to disagree and I’m certainly not ignorant. I understand the use of the DSM, but it is part of a standard.

Also, my posts addressed possibilities and info about bipolar disorder, or triggers…. You were the one diagnosing with certainty and giving advice to run and suggesting the OP was in danger even.

I agree with Kat, none of us have met her and diagnosing is inappropriate. OP just needs our support.


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[Moondoggy]

Terrible to go through, I wish for you all better days.

[wesdaniel]

Originally Posted by blassy

So kind of at my wits end, and just looking for advice anywhere I can get it.
My wife who has always struggled with anxiety disorder, has had a rather dramatic behavioral change over the last few months.
She suddenly stopped sleeping and was always in her phone. Soon found out she was incessantly texting some 25 year old boy she works with (she's 48) because he was showing her lots of attention.
Suddenly the obsession grew - googling things like "how should I list my crush in my phone". I honestly thought it was my 12 year old daughter doing it. Her texting not only with him, but all her new friends became a frenzy. Up until 2 or 3 am and back at it for 7am.
For comparison - she sent 70 text messages in August. In November it was over 1500.
Then the spending started. Found out she took out a credit card in just her name in August when I found a bill under one of her pillows. She's managed to run it up to 22K in just 4 months. New obsession is the hair salon....goes two to 3 times a week and last month was over 500 dollars. Last night spent 3K on concert tickets for her and our daughters without discussing it. I've brought it up many many many times, but explaining there's something wrong or asking if she needs help or telling her I'm worried about her...falls on deaf ears.
I've learned you can't help someone who doesn't want it.
Our family doc thinks her anxiety meds have been masking a bipolar disorder for years.
At a loss right now but wondering if anyone out there has had experience with this in a loved one.

My husband is bipolar and also suffers from anxiety and PTSD. Fortunately, he's mostly stable on effective medications now, but, there was a period of a couple of years where I didn't know if I was going to make it. There were issues with alcohol that seemed insurmountable, we still go through some manic periods (I felt the credit card issue in my soul - I pay for all of our expenses and recently found out he had run up $10K in debt that I didn't know about).

The biggest thing is that she has to be on board with her treatment and recognizing that there is currently a problem.

With my other half, we started on the path to getting back on track because I asked him if I could go to one of his psychiatrist appointments with him. He said yes and, when I went, I was able to share quite a few behaviors that I knew the psych would find problematic and that was really the start of things turning around.

Wishing you the best!

[JTL31]

Originally Posted by Lesnerelli23

I agree with Kat, none of us have met her and diagnosing is inappropriate. OP just needs our support.

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Agreed! OP just needs our support moving forward now.
Chris has been given much advice and personal examples of our own experiences, myself included. Out of respect for him & his family, I politely suggest we allow him time and space to handle this with various qualified professionals moving forward.

[TK-710]

Step one is getting the proper diagnosis. Bi Polar seems to often be a knee jerk diagnosis to many different things. Many different mental illnesses have some overlapping similar symptoms. Getting an actual diagnosis is crucial. Unfortunately that can be near impossible when the individual believes there is nothing wrong.

Step two. With an expert in the field develop a treatment plan and fully commit to it.

Bi polar, with proper treatment is manageable. Without it it’s nearly impossible to manage. But even with proper treatment the individual needs someone else co-managing the care because unfortunately the first reaction to the medication working is that they no longer need the medication. It is a life long relentless battle requiring commitment for all involved which often requires sacrifice and tough love. Families can be literally destroyed by the amount of unyielding effort required.

I have a family member who is diagnosed bipolar and unfortunately it has been completely mismanaged by the individual and the parent, who insists on being the only person to make decisions, managing it. Constant mistakes from the onset at age 18. As a result they are now in their 40s, having dropped out of college, has never held a job, had multiple run ins with law enforcement, and they are residing in their parents’ basement, continuously blowing through their parents’ money on nonsense items for their next big project.

If you are unable to get through step one and two then removing yourself and your children from the situation might be an option, at least temporarily. As a husband you made a commitment to your wife but as soon as you became a father that commitment became secondary to protecting the mental and physical health and wellbeing of your children. They can not do this for themselves. This situation may become volatile very quickly and at their tender age they do not need to have a front row seat to their mother having a mental breakdown. That is the type of childhood trauma that you must protect them from at all costs.

I’m extremely sorry that you, your wife, your family and the countless others have to go through this. There will be tough decisions that must be made through a deliberate rational thought process. Raising your children while simultaneously trying to assist your wife with her mental health crisis, without the crisis negativity and possibly permanently affecting your children is going to be extremely difficult; even more so if she hasn’t yet acknowledged there is a problem. Hopefully there’s a course of action out there where you’re able to hold it all together.

Again I’m extremely sorry that you have to go through this.

[brandrea]

Originally Posted by JTL31

Agreed! OP just needs our support moving forward now.
Chris has been given much advice and personal examples of our own experiences, myself included. Out of respect for him & his family, I politely suggest we allow him time and space to handle this with various qualified professionals moving forward.

Very well said Janet

OP, I truly hope you and your family can work your way through this very difficult and challenging time.

[blassy]

Thanks everyone. Sincerely appreciate all the different points of view and advice.
In the end, I have to do what I think is best for all concerned.
Big day tomorrow as she has her doctor appointment and we will see if she’s being honest about a lot of what I already know to be fact.
That will be telling. I pray for our family’s best outcome but will keep all of you folks updates as our journey continues.

[Jimmy 2 Times]

Originally Posted by blassy

Thanks everyone. Sincerely appreciate all the different points of view and advice.
In the end, I have to do what I think is best for all concerned.
Big day tomorrow as she has her doctor appointment and we will see if she’s being honest about a lot of what I already know to be fact.
That will be telling. I pray for our family’s best outcome but will keep all of you folks updates as our journey continues.

I wish you nothing but the best and happiness for all.

[ikincooper]

Originally Posted by blassy

Thanks everyone. Sincerely appreciate all the different points of view and advice.
In the end, I have to do what I think is best for all concerned.
Big day tomorrow as she has her doctor appointment and we will see if she’s being honest about a lot of what I already know to be fact.
That will be telling. I pray for our family’s best outcome but will keep all of you folks updates as our journey continues.

I will certainly have you and your family in mind tomorrow Chris. Best of luck!

I’d like to refrain from offering anything further, other than praise and admiration for the way you’re dealing with the whole situation OP. It takes real courage to open up and ask for guidance and you’ve received enough now to have formulated your best way forwards.


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[DJH1977]

Good luck, tough situation. Definitely seek a psychiatrist for evaluation. Other issues (including substance abuse) can present similarly, and a trained psychiatrist is best equipped to rule out other issues and determine options for treatment.

[KatGirl]

Originally Posted by DJH1977

Good luck, tough situation. Definitely seek a psychiatrist for evaluation. Other issues (including substance abuse) can present similarly, and a trained psychiatrist is best equipped to rule out other issues and determine options for treatment.

Let’s not deal in conjecture. As a trained medical professional, I am concerned that folks are speculating, regarding the diagnosis of someone they don’t even know, and even more horrified, by folks judging this poor woman, who seems to be in a state of crisis, and pointing the OP toward divorce. The OP has a plan. Let’s all just hope and/or pray that this family gets help. Friendly support is all any of us are qualified to offer. Thanks.

Kat


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[INC]

Originally Posted by blassy

Our family doc thinks her anxiety meds have been masking a bipolar disorder for years.

I am NOT a healthcare professional, but I have, had three bipolar friends/family member earlier. This illness is more or less a hormonal problem which can be very well treated with a proper medicine therapy. But only if the patient ACKNOWLEDGES and UNDERSTOODS his/her illness. In this cases, during the treatment you will not see anything on these persons, as the medicines will make them live their life as anybody else. There are a lots of politicians out there who lives with this syndrome. Probably therefore there are politicians :)

But this is only one part of the story. The other part is the fearful one, this syndrome seems like a pure liar for the patient. It takes him or her out of control.

If this person is in the good mood era, then they could change the world. They have such ideas, you can not imagine where are these came from? You can not stop them in this period, and that's the Catch 22 - as they feel flying over the Moon, so they do not want to understand that they are ill and need a therapy to calm them down.

But not to be too calm, because that part is the more dangerous one, the depression stage (therefore it is called bi-polar: extraimly high or low emotions changes even in just some days). In this period if they will not get a huge help from the close relatives, there will be a huge chance for commiting a suicide without any foreseen reason. Unfortunately, I have seen this. No one expected that that person will do this at that time he did. Therefore no one was able to help him at that single moment.

So, based on the aboves, and double underlined that I am not a professional healthcare person, I do not think, that she has a bipolar syndrome. What I see is more or less a simly "mad" stage, without a former or a foreseenable "down" stage. This is more like a midlife crysis, when the men used to feel that they have to look and act as they were twenty-thirty years ago. Which is not a usual, but not an unexplainable thing in a case of a woman.

But in short:

Please do not try to figure out her problem. This seems to be a psychiactric problem which needs a treatment. You have to help her to go to a professional psychiatric person who have dealt with such persons with success. But it is my humble opinion only, and NOT a medical advice.

[ecbkk]

unfortunately, tragically, I am qualified to prognosticate about the OP's fate because I have witnessed this same exact story play out half a dozen times with only the names changed.

The details match bit for bit, the texting, the cheating, the spending, the ages involved, the stay at home mom, even the misdiagnosis of bi-polar (ADHD is another common one, along with MDD but these are co-morbidities and not root causes for the behaviors)

Thus while the details the OP has provided seem like it could be anything from mid life crisis to bipolar, I recognize and pick up on the clues like an arthur conan doyle sherlock holmes. and I am certain.

For example, this clue from the OP, "She's always been easily overwhelmed. For context - until this recent job...she's been a stay at home mom for 12 years. I also worked from home and do all the cooking and we paid for a cleaning lady. I've tried to make her life easier." this testimony from the OP screams/glaring red flag for borderline personality disorder (their extreme emotional sensitivity makes normal daily life and social interactions overwhelming because borderlines spend all their energy to always project a "perfect" persona to strangers and acquaintances). The fact the situation persisted for 12 years shouts, "Its not treated/medicated bi-polar!!!!"

I don't recommend any course of action whether it is treatment or divorce, because I have nothing to recommend. There is nothing that will help or improve or mitigate the chaos of borderline personality disorder. This situation is an ultimate tragedy and there is no good outcome here. OP, I am truly sorry for your loss.

Originally Posted by KatGirl

Let’s not deal in conjecture. As a trained medical professional, I am concerned that folks are speculating, regarding the diagnosis of someone they don’t even know, and even more horrified, by folks judging this poor woman, who seems to be in a state of crisis, and pointing the OP toward divorce. The OP has a plan. Let’s all just hope and/or pray that this family gets help. Friendly support is all any of us are qualified to offer. Thanks.

Kat


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