The Rolex Forums   The Rolex Watch


Old 26 July 2018, 04:56 AM   #1
"TRF" Member
RustyGnutts's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Texas
Watch: Tudor OysterDate
Posts: 23
Medical Exams...

[ these came to me via an eMail...]


1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .
'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.'

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab,
lifted the lady's dress and began to take off
her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs ---
and I was in the wrong one.

-- Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco

2. At the beginning of my shift
I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
'Big breaths,' ... I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,' ... replied the patient.

-- Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad
news when I told a wife that her husband had
died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a 'massive internal fart.'

-- Submitted by Dr Susan Steinberg

4. During a patient's two week follow-up
appointment with his cardiologist, he informed
me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with
one of his medications...

Which one ?... I asked. The patch...

The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours
and now I'm running out of places to put it !

I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped
I wouldn't see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
Now, the instructions include removal of
the old patch before applying a new one.

-- Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
I asked, How long have you been bedridden?
After a look of complete confusion she answered ...
Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.

-- Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

6. I was performing rounds at the
hospital one morning and while checking
up on a man I asked... So how's your
breakfast this morning?
“It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly.
I can't seem to get used to the taste,”
Bob replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

-- Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
entered ... It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery.
When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had
been dyed green and above it there was a
tattoo that read... 'Keep off the grass.'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said 'Sorry... had to mow the lawn.'

--Submitted by RN no name,

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams... To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this
exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said...

I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?
She replied with tears running down
her cheeks from laughing so hard ...
No doctor, but the song you were whistling was ...

'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'

-- Dr. wouldn't submit his name...

9. A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room,
waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby,
checked his weight, and being a little concerned,
asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

Breast-fed, she replied..
Well, strip down to your waist, the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed
both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said,
"No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."
"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, But I'm glad I came."
RustyGnutts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26 July 2018, 08:00 AM   #2
"TRF" Member
arizonapaul's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2016
Real Name: Paul
Location: Fountain Hills,Az
Watch: All 3 Sea-Dwellers
Posts: 937
good stuff----
Rolex Sea-Dweller SD43
Rolex D-blue-
Rolex Hulk
Rolex TT Sub-
Rolex SD4000
Omega Ploprof 1200 m
Panerai 510
Panerai 785 set-NIB
Rolex Airking
arizonapaul is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29 July 2018, 05:05 PM   #3
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Real Name: Noah
Location: Ulster
Posts: 276
Haha. Some very funny ones.
Oscarpapa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 30 August 2018, 10:47 AM   #4
2019 Pledge Member
Hairdude1's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2012
Real Name: Alex
Location: Chicago
Watch: AP,PP, Rolex
Posts: 37,141
Funny stuff
Instagram: @Hairdude
Watches in Collection 5070R, 5522A, 214270 MK1, 228238

16750, 26401, 5711, 116718, 116710LN, 116300, 16710"Coke", 372, 15300, 15703 (All Flipped)
Official Member "Perpetual 30" Las Vegas GTG 2016
Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017
Official Member 'WIS-CON' Las Vegas Int'l GTG 2018
Hairdude1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31 August 2018, 04:41 PM   #5
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 19
Breigue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20 September 2018, 10:40 AM   #6
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: Memphis,TN
Posts: 14
david196520 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29 September 2018, 04:27 AM   #7
"TRF" Member
XtraCrispy's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2018
Real Name: Joe
Location: Chicago
Watch: me closely!
Posts: 126
Very funny!
XtraCrispy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29 September 2018, 06:21 AM   #8
2019 GMT CHNR Pledge Member
teqp's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2012
Real Name: Phil
Location: SoCal
Watch: 116613LN
Posts: 2,894
teqp is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 29 September 2018, 06:42 AM   #9
Moderator & 2019 GMT TT Patron
Tools's Avatar
Join Date: May 2007
Real Name: Larry
Location: Mojave Desert
Watch: GMT's
Posts: 35,801
(Chill ... It's just a watch Forum.....)
NAWCC Member
Tools is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5 October 2018, 07:49 PM   #10
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: usa
Posts: 159
HahA!! very funny.
gin47 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10 October 2018, 08:01 AM   #11
"TRF" Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 105

sxdcfv is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10 October 2018, 11:25 AM   #12
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: United State
Watch: Rolex
Posts: 75
Good one, very funny stuff.
boom! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10 October 2018, 02:30 PM   #13
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: usa
Posts: 31
Very nice
flon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13 December 2018, 09:26 AM   #14
"TRF" Member
Psmith's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2008
Real Name: Clive
Location: Pomgleterre
Watch: the usual suspects
Posts: 36,130
Psmith is offline   Reply With Quote

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Banners Of The Month

*Banner Of The Month*
This space is provided to horological resources.

Copyright ©2004-2019, The Rolex Forums. All Rights Reserved.


Rolex is a registered trademark of ROLEX USA. The Rolex Forums is not affiliated with ROLEX USA in any way.