The Destructive & Tragic Nature of End-Stage Alcoholism

[BristolCavendish]

Received a phone call last evening pertaining to a friend I knew in college. We had lost track of one another over the past couple of decades but from time to time I would think of him, reflecting on some of the adventures we had shared during those pre-adult formative years.

For those familiar with the movie 'Leaving Las Vegas', his eventual demise was a reflection of that tragic story. Having given up on life, he committed long-term suicide by literally drinking himself to death. The process took over 10 years and along the way, it created a massive wave of emotional/financial burdens, family resentments and an overall sense of abandonment amongst his children as he retreated even further into a world of drink.

Prior to hearing this news, I had minimal awareness of end-stage alcoholism and of the havoc it creates (not only for the alcoholic but for those around him as well). The peculiar thing (to me) is that this affliction emerged later in his life about the time he reached 40. Prior to that, he was pretty much a social drinker who never seemed to let ethyl alcohol adversely affect his personal or professional life.

He eventually drifted in and out of his family's lives and when he did appear, he was oftentimes verbally abusive and according to his sister, very difficult to be around. Family gatherings were always on 'red alert' and his siblings often feared for the emotionally traumatic effects his incoherent rants and outbursts would have on their children.

When the end finally came, it arrived swiftly as there was a total body shutdown with absolutely no chance of resuscitation. His elderly father who had been taking care of him, discovered his dead son's body the following morning on the living room sofa.

This incident got me to thinking about my own drinking habits. Though I limit myself to two glasses of merlot at dinner (one while prepping, the other while dining), I've become more aware of the common danger signs and realize now that anyone can become an alcoholic even if they never were one before. Life situations can change/alter and everyone deals with it in their own way. When I was in my teens, I once pointed out a ragged tippler on the street to my father who educated me by saying for all we know, that man could have formerly been a banker, lawyer, someone's father etc. who had fallen on hard times.

A sad and depressing movie like 'Leaving Las Vegas' speaks volumes. When it occurs in real life, it's even more tragic.

[Star Ferry]

It's sad. Once someone becomes an alcoholic, it seems like full abstinence is the only solution. I've never heard of an alcoholic who transitioned to being a moderate/light drinker.

[Rock]

Alcohol is like other vices - good whilst you control it, bad when it controls you.
I watched a program about the ICE epidemic the other night and that makes alcohol problems look like - well, small beer.
There is clearly a 'dependent gene' as some folks seem prone to abuse everything they touch, alcohol, drugs, smokes, gambling.

[Abdullah71601]

I was told by a VA doctor that alcoholics have an excess of an enzyme that processes alcohol in their liver, which causes the alcoholic to drink a lot more to get drunk and stay drunk. I'm not saying it's not his fault that he was a drunk, as many alcoholics choose not to drink at all, but it appears that some people are chemically predisposed to the condition.

Hats off to those who chose sobriety.

[1William]

Difficult situation all around. Drinking is a choice.

[THC]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

It's sad. Once someone becomes an alcoholic, it seems like full abstinence is the only solution. I've never heard of an alcoholic who transitioned to being a moderate/light drinker.

Well said Steve, nor have I. From what I know of the disease is, the person has no sense of moderation at all and goes all in every day. Sad indeed.

[TheVTCGuy]

Wow, sad story all around. It makes you wonder exactly why did he hate himself so much to do this to his body and (really) commit suicide. I know Alcholism is a disease, but from the sound of what you said, your friend was intelligent and did not show signs of excessive drinking until close to midlife. It seems like this was more of a subconcious decision to kill himself and you have to wonder why? What had he done where he felt the need to punish himself to this extent? At least in his mind. Well, regardless, sad story all around and I am sorry for the loss of your friend. As for your own drinking habbits, I am a non-drinker and far from any kind of expert on the subject, but it does not sound to me like you are destined for any kind of probleml. Sorry again for your dealing with this disturbing news

[AzPaul]

Obviously, I didn't know the man but it sounds as though there was more in play here than just an addiction to drink.

Thanks for the post.
Reminds us of our own mortality.

[jhilly8982]

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It only gets worse and worse, you drink more just to get to "normal" and your body eventually shuts down. When I walked in to the hospital looking to detox it had been 24 hours since I last had a drink but my blood/alcohol was three times the legal limit. My body was pickled.

I have been sober for nearly 8 years after years of alcohol abuse that developed into a dependency. I spent time in the hospital to detox, then attended an intensive out-patient rehab program. There, you get out what you put in. You learn how to cope and not romanticize your problem, as most people do. The best thing I learned was that people with addiction will reminisce all the good times they had drinking/drugging and get drawn back in. Instead, they teach you to keep a mental reel of the worst moments you've had under the influence and to think about it anytime you feel an urge.

[Pict]

Yes it is tragic, from my family experience of an alcoholic cousin who died at the age of 32, when it seemed he had the answers in front of him ie rehab, abstain, enjoy life.

Even as intelligent as he was, and he was, he was not strong enough to stay away from the bottle and it did kill him. He had total organ failure after 10 days in hospital when the prognosis was good, they thought he would recover but I guess his body needed alcohol, he was that dependant on it that it just shut down (my thoughts).

Once alcohol is in control, it takes a strong person to turn this around.

[wantonebad]

OP sorry for your loss, and brave of you to share!

[Star Ferry]

Originally Posted by jhilly8982

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It only gets worse and worse, you drink more just to get to "normal" and your body eventually shuts down. When I walked in to the hospital looking to detox it had been 24 hours since I last had a drink but my blood/alcohol was three times the legal limit. My body was pickled.

I have been sober for nearly 8 years after years of alcohol abuse that developed into a dependency. I spent time in the hospital to detox, then attended an intensive out-patient rehab program. There, you get out what you put in. You learn how to cope and not romanticize your problem, as most people do. The best thing I learned was that people with addiction will reminisce all the good times they had drinking/drugging and get drawn back in. Instead, they teach you to keep a mental reel of the worst moments you've had under the influence and to think about it anytime you feel an urge.

thanks for sharing your story, and congratulations on your recovery

[superdog]

Alcoholism, along with any other addiction, is a hard way to live your life.

Human beings are flawed in many ways, and a need to fill voids and gaps can oftentimes translate into debilitating addictions.

I feel badly for anyone going through it, in any form.

[Yo Cecil]

Sorry of your loss OP.

I am mid thirties now but all the way through my twenties I drank a tremendous amount daily, or at least most days. Five years ago I had to go to hospital for the first time due to drink related problems, the three weeks leading up to going to hospital I was drunk or drinking to get drunk all day long if I wasn't sleeping. Nine days I spent in hospital in a high dependency unit, and one of those nights I nearly died which was the worse and the best day I can remember, the worse because of the obvious but the best because it was a priceless catalyst which I needed to stop drinking. A few days after the worst day in hospital I was told I was 'out of the woods' and that I had pancreatitis - something which is mainly brought on in men by gallstones or excessive alcohol. Throughout my 20's all of my family but my dad said I was an alcoholic but I knew I wasn't, I was a binge drinker, and having been a binge drinker and not an alcoholic I'm not sure if the near death experience would've had the same catalyst would have had the same effect.

I haven't touched alcohol since leaving hospital and I'm not really fussed about it, in my opinion it isn't about people who just like to drink to get drunk a lot, they're filling a void, it took me a huge catalyst to stop, two years before I knew of a friend of the family who died of excessive alcohol and saw pictures of him looking yellow in a hospital bed just before he passed away, at the time it was upsetting and this in itself should've been the catalyst but it seems people who drink too much (who arent always alcoholics) are excellent at blocking certain things out!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Etschell]

i used to drink damn near every night but now i drink 1 drink maybe 1 time a week. crazy part is as hard as it was for the first 6 months to a year its not even hard now.

[rmlovett1]

Originally Posted by jhilly8982

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It only gets worse and worse, you drink more just to get to "normal" and your body eventually shuts down. When I walked in to the hospital looking to detox it had been 24 hours since I last had a drink but my blood/alcohol was three times the legal limit. My body was pickled.

I have been sober for nearly 8 years after years of alcohol abuse that developed into a dependency. I spent time in the hospital to detox, then attended an intensive out-patient rehab program. There, you get out what you put in. You learn how to cope and not romanticize your problem, as most people do. The best thing I learned was that people with addiction will reminisce all the good times they had drinking/drugging and get drawn back in. Instead, they teach you to keep a mental reel of the worst moments you've had under the influence and to think about it anytime you feel an urge.

Outstanding for you! Congratulations!!
I quit cold turkey on Father's Day 2015. I wasn't an all day drunk, but alcohol (a lot) was part of my nightly routine to forget about the day, any problems, and to generally pass out at the end of the day. I'd wake up in a fog and be 'hazy' for a while the next morning. I wasn't always a pleasant drinker as well. I've never been happier, felt more free, and more in tune for my family. I now have a visual reminder tattooed on my hand, and am reminded every time I look at my beautiful timepieces.

[anothernewphone]

Alcoholism runs in my Irish family, so that's why I chose from a very young age to never drink. I'm 32 and never had a drop in my life.

I've lost a long-time employee of my family business in the same way you've described - except he lived by himself and wasn't found for a long time. It's so sad to think about, even after all these years.

[BristolCavendish]

Originally Posted by AzPaul

Obviously, I didn't know the man but it sounds as though there was more in play here than just an addiction to drink.

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

...from the sound of what you said, your friend was intelligent and did not show signs of excessive drinking until close to midlife. It seems like this was more of a subconcious decision to kill himself and you have to wonder why?

These are the key questions/factors. The deceased was indeed a very intelligent and insightful individual. He was an avid reader, outdoorsman and a perpetual seeker of a 'higher level of consciousness', much to the point where he became easily exasperated with those 'who just didn't get it'. I suspect that his disillusionment with what he perceived as a petty and mundane world triggered this destructive journey, either as an escape valve or as a means to deal with his ongoing sense of alienation. A simpleton would have merely called him 'a social misfit' but there was far more to the picture as there are numerous accounts of talented and visionary individuals who simply 'checked-out' because they couldn't deal with what most of us accept and acknowledge as 'the everyday world'. Life on earth apparently became too painful for him to deal with so he simply departed, leaving the rest of us to eventually figure things out.

[Fleetlord]

There really is nothing you can do for Alcoholics until they WANT to stop...

I know a dude who drinks 12-18 Beers a day. One day he didn't drink for 24hrs due to flooding and had a seizure that put him in the hospital to De tox. He was hallucinating so badly that he thought the doctors (who were telling him that he can't drink anymore) were rolling liquor carts up the hallway and having a party to spite him when they left his room...true story.

In my opinion he is the WORST type of alcoholic as he sees NO connection what so ever to excessive drinking and negative health issues and anyone who "labels" him an alcoholic just doesn't want him to have a good time and is out to get him...

I gave up. Let him live his life as he sees fit, even if it ends with liver failure...

[Lawman77]

I personally don't believe in addiction. "Dependence" is just a sign of weakness.

[Andad]

Well we all have weaknesses of some description so I can't agree with you.

Brave posts from some here and I applaud them for that.

Well done.

[Rock]

I really enjoy a drink but about a decade ago a mate, who was a drug & alcohol counsellor, suggested to me that it was good to give your system a 'rest' for a few days a week. That made sense to me so I stopped having a couple of wines with dinner and only drink moderately on the weekend. I was surprised that I actually feel better in the mornings. I'd never go back to drinking something every day.

[Kingair]

Alcohol is a social drug just like cigarettes

Try one and your lost . . .

Anyway I already conquered one guess about 20 years ago : cigarettes

But I still enjoy smoking a nice cigar while having a nice whiskey, red wine or a diet coke 😉

I drink way way less over here in the States compared to the years living in Belgium / Europe

Might be the quality of the beer although the Belgians own close to all US beer brands 😂

Still miss my Orval, Westmalle and Westvleteren . . .

The most stunning beers in the world !

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk

[Abdullah71601]

Originally Posted by Lawman77

I personally don't believe in addiction. "Dependence" is just a sign of weakness.

The science would disagree. Some substances cause a chemical change in the body that has to heal during withdrawal. There are medical implications that can be life threatening for some people.

Ignoring the reality of addiction makes it easier to dispose of those people in society, but doesn't do much to help them recover from the condition.

[rmlovett1]

Originally Posted by Abdullah71601

The science would disagree. Some substances cause a chemical change in the body that has to heal during withdrawal. There are medical implications that can be life threatening for some people.

Ignoring the reality of addiction makes it easier to dispose of those people in society, but doesn't do much to help them recover from the condition.

⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ Agree!

[77T]

Many triggers for substance dependence - impossible to nail it down to one or two reasons within the brain. I've dealt with people who "self-medicate" with alcohol (as well as other depressants). Once enabled by a raised awareness of their true self-assurance, they can break the chain of addiction.

Are these effects permanent? At this point, researchers don't know. But they are continuing to study the effect of binge drinking on teens - that's an area where many start a downward spiral.

[Sperry]

Originally Posted by BristolCavendish

This incident got me to thinking about my own drinking habits. Though I limit myself ...

The act of limiting, say some, is indication of potential abuse. Self-control, will power, and especially ambition are some ways the alcoholic succeeds against their affliction.

A friend, single mother, born of heavy drinkers and with failure siblings, has the genes. Overcame great odds, rarely drinks, and is smashing glass ceiling after ceiling.

You can always lock up the liquor cabinet for ten days. A very real clarity will descend upon you after about a week. Makes a cold beer all the more appreciated.

[BristolCavendish]

Originally Posted by Lawman77

I personally don't believe in addiction. "Dependence" is just a sign of weakness.

Originally Posted by directioneng

Well we all have weaknesses of some description so I can't agree with you.

The venerable 'sign of weakness' condemnation is little more than an old morality pulpit which doesn't allow much latitude from which to either alleviate nor comprehend the actual roots of the problem. It's more along the lines of a self-righteous 'finger-pointing' which in itself is oftentimes counterproductive.

Originally Posted by Sperry

The act of limiting, say some, is indication of potential abuse.

That's a good point as I've known several individuals (myself included) who took it upon themselves to limit their intake of potentially dangerous substances primarily out of personal fear and/or later health-related repercussions. Thus a key question remains, is consuming an excessive quantity/amount vs controlled and/or moderate usage similar (or even identical) from the standpoint of clinical and pre-defined substance abuse parameters?

[Relyt]

Well I may as well tell my story. I wasn't by any means an alcoholic but I can see how it can become very dangerous VERY quickly. When I did drink it was to "feel something," and not just because I enjoyed the taste.
I would never drink an entire handle or a case of beer, but I see how easy it can become.

In my job I have seen TOO MUCH DEATH, and horrible situations. Before I was a cop I barely EVER DRANK.

I was then involved in a very tragic situations resulting in me saving my own life, but resulted in the tragic loss of a life for someone else.

The pain struggling with this was horrible. The news trashed me, and the death threats were unreal. It felt the only way I could escape was to sip on something for more than taste enjoyment.

Ultimately I self medicated with alcohol and medicine the Drs had prescribed to help me cope with the horrific incident.

Before I could blink I found myself destroying myself. My wife came home one night and said she was afraid that every night she got home, she was afraid to have found me having taken my own life. This was a huge wake up call.

Got rid of the alcohol and medicine and replaced it with working out.

Granted I can still drink on occasion but it has lost most appeal to me as a "regular activity."

I completely agree that it " changes something" in your brain..... and PTSD doesn't by any means help it.

Without it, I finally sleep better , I'm more happy, and I have ten folds more energy.

Overall, it's crazy that such an accepted social activity can turn someone into a person they once were not.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[masterserg]

Originally Posted by Lawman77

I personally don't believe in addiction. "Dependence" is just a sign of weakness.

This is a very ignorant and judgmental post. There are things that can happen to you (and hopefully won't) that the brain is simply not designed to process and can completely cause it to fail (like any other organ).