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Swiss Mad! · 9 January 2020, 07:58 AM

We were so poor when I was a kid, one Christmas my Dad gave me an empty box & told me it was an Action Man that had gone AWOL.....

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mountainjogger · 9 January 2020, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swiss Mad!

2 snowmen talking....one says “can you smell carrots” ?

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I know I am mature, but I love this one.

greentimgreen · 9 January 2020, 08:41 AM

What’s brown and sticky?

> a stick.

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Cryten · 9 January 2020, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Swiss Mad!

What do you call a deer with no eyes & no legs?

Still no idea....

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What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs mounting another deer

Still no f@#king idea

Fredcohiba · 9 January 2020, 09:34 AM

How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A buccaneer.

Fredcohiba · 9 January 2020, 09:36 AM

What did the hat say to the shirt?

You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.

haven_seeker · 9 January 2020, 10:35 AM

This one is amazing!

Quote:

Originally Posted by subtona

How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one but it takes 9 visits.

haven_seeker · 9 January 2020, 10:37 AM

Why did the kid eat his homework?

The teacher said it was a piece of cake.

AzPaul · 9 January 2020, 11:47 AM

My therapist told me I have a problem with anger

This pissed me off to no end

clock · 9 January 2020, 11:48 AM

Why you shouldn’t date a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them.

clock · 9 January 2020, 11:52 AM

You know what they say about cliffhangers...

clock · 9 January 2020, 11:59 AM

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don’t know and don’t care.

Randy63 · 9 January 2020, 12:27 PM

Horse walks into a bar.

Bartender says "why the long face?"

Randy

Swiss Mad! · 9 January 2020, 04:15 PM

I have a compulsive condition, it’s called CDO

It’s similar to OCD, just in the correct alphabetical order......

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Swiss Mad! · 9 January 2020, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Randy63

Horse walks into a bar.

Bartender says "why the long face?"

Randy

White horse walks into a bar, bartender says “Did you know there’s a whisky named after you” ?

White horse says “What?, Brian?”

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SydR · 9 January 2020, 04:33 PM

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor.

Nauti · 9 January 2020, 05:49 PM

A cowboy approached me the other day and asked if I could help him round up 8 cows ?....sure i said ....that would be 10.

Rogdogg · 9 January 2020, 05:59 PM

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam!

(Christmas Cracker Obviously)

Speedbird-1 · 9 January 2020, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rogdogg

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam!

(Christmas Cracker Obviously)

Cheap Christmas cracker....obviously!

Swiss Mad! · 11 January 2020, 04:48 AM

When I married my wife I knew she was ‘Miss right’.....

What I didn’t realise was her middle name was ‘Always’....

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Milnef0 · 11 January 2020, 05:51 PM

Why do cow wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

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mountainjogger · 11 January 2020, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Milnef0

Why do cow wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

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Country humor

JoseR · 12 January 2020, 01:25 AM

I called suicide prevention....and they put me on hold... I get no respect.

Rodney Dangerfield...

zengineer · 12 January 2020, 03:01 AM

What do you do if you are attacked by a mob of clowns?

Go for the juggler.

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mimariani · 12 January 2020, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by subtona

what do you call a dog w no legs?

It don’t matter, he ain’t coming.

😂lmao

Tony64 · 12 January 2020, 02:11 PM

Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.

mountainjogger · 13 January 2020, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrubero

I called suicide prevention....and they put me on hold... I get no respect.

Rodney Dangerfield...

He was incredible.

subtona · 13 January 2020, 08:24 AM

What would you call it if they put another floor on that building?

That would be another story.

JoseR · 13 January 2020, 09:20 AM

"My cousin is gay; he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock."

JoseR · 13 January 2020, 09:24 AM

"When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, 'I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through.'"

9 January 2020, 07:58 AM	#31
Swiss Mad! "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2017 Real Name: Max Location: UK Watch: Various Posts: 3,726	We were so poor when I was a kid, one Christmas my Dad gave me an empty box & told me it was an Action Man that had gone AWOL..... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ instagram: max.parkin

9 January 2020, 11:47 AM	#39
AzPaul 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: May 2012 Real Name: Paul Location: Tucson, Az Watch: Rolex 1501 Posts: 13,193	My therapist told me I have a problem with anger This pissed me off to no end __________________ Ain't much of a crime, whacking a surly bartender

9 January 2020, 04:15 PM	#44
Swiss Mad! "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2017 Real Name: Max Location: UK Watch: Various Posts: 3,726	I have a compulsive condition, it’s called CDO It’s similar to OCD, just in the correct alphabetical order...... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ instagram: max.parkin

9 January 2020, 05:59 PM	#48
Rogdogg "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Bangkok Posts: 6,117	What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam! (Christmas Cracker Obviously) __________________ Nil Satis Nisi Optimum

11 January 2020, 04:48 AM	#50
Swiss Mad! "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2017 Real Name: Max Location: UK Watch: Various Posts: 3,726	When I married my wife I knew she was ‘Miss right’..... What I didn’t realise was her middle name was ‘Always’.... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ instagram: max.parkin

9 January 2020, 08:41 AM	#33
greentimgreen "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: London Posts: 266	What’s brown and sticky? > a stick. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

9 January 2020, 09:34 AM	#35
Fredcohiba "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2018 Real Name: Fred Location: SE Wisconsin Watch: DJ 126334 Posts: 408	How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.

9 January 2020, 09:36 AM	#36
Fredcohiba "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2018 Real Name: Fred Location: SE Wisconsin Watch: DJ 126334 Posts: 408	What did the hat say to the shirt? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.

9 January 2020, 10:37 AM	#38
haven_seeker "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2015 Location: Northern Ontario Watch: 19018N OQ Posts: 848	Why did the kid eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake.

9 January 2020, 11:48 AM	#40
clock Banned Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: in a house Posts: 13,510	Why you shouldn’t date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them.

9 January 2020, 11:52 AM	#41
clock Banned Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: in a house Posts: 13,510	You know what they say about cliffhangers...

9 January 2020, 11:59 AM	#42
clock Banned Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: in a house Posts: 13,510	What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and don’t care.

9 January 2020, 12:27 PM	#43
Randy63 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Scranton Watch: 16610 Posts: 996	Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "why the long face?" Randy

9 January 2020, 04:33 PM	#46
SydR "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2019 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 338	Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

9 January 2020, 05:49 PM	#47
Nauti "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2020 Location: UK Posts: 140	A cowboy approached me the other day and asked if I could help him round up 8 cows ?....sure i said ....that would be 10.

11 January 2020, 05:51 PM	#51
Milnef0 Banned Join Date: Dec 2019 Location: Basel Posts: 25	Why do cow wear bells? Because their horns don't work. Sent from my SM-A105F using Tapatalk

12 January 2020, 01:25 AM	#53
JoseR "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2019 Location: Philly. Watch: Air King, Omega AT Posts: 2,154	I called suicide prevention....and they put me on hold... I get no respect. Rodney Dangerfield... __________________ Air King 116900 Omega AT41 Gray Dial/Leather Oris Pointer Date Roberto Clemente LE

12 January 2020, 03:01 AM	#54
zengineer "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2016 Location: Michigan Posts: 4,553	What do you do if you are attacked by a mob of clowns? Go for the juggler. Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

12 January 2020, 02:11 PM	#56
Tony64 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 2,796	Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.

13 January 2020, 08:24 AM	#58
subtona "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Real Name: gus Location: East Coast Watch: APK & sometimes Y Posts: 25,987	What would you call it if they put another floor on that building? That would be another story. __________________

13 January 2020, 09:20 AM	#59
JoseR "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2019 Location: Philly. Watch: Air King, Omega AT Posts: 2,154	"My cousin is gay; he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock." __________________ Air King 116900 Omega AT41 Gray Dial/Leather Oris Pointer Date Roberto Clemente LE

13 January 2020, 09:24 AM	#60
JoseR "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2019 Location: Philly. Watch: Air King, Omega AT Posts: 2,154	"When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, 'I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through.'" __________________ Air King 116900 Omega AT41 Gray Dial/Leather Oris Pointer Date Roberto Clemente LE

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