The Rolex Forums   The Rolex Watch

ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX


Go Back   Rolex Forums - Rolex Watch Forum > General Topics > Open Discussion Forum

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 22 June 2018, 11:47 AM   #1
Wesley Crusher
"TRF" Member
 
Wesley Crusher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Real Name: Wes
Location: Holosuite
Posts: 6,345
Well, this is awkward...

Hey all,

A recruiter from another company (same industry) contacted me about a role they're trying to fill. The job sounds interesting, my commute would be MUCH better (30 minutes vs 1.5 hours), and it's a promotional opportunity where I stand to get a ~50% raise.

My industry is very incestuous. Most people know each other from the various companies and have likely worked with each other at some point. My boss knows the hiring manager at the other company very well, however, I don't know him. I am supposed to have an interview with the hiring manager at the other company next Wednesday.

Here's the awkward part... Today my boss tells me that some guys from the other company (we do business with each other) are inviting us to dinner next Thursday. My boss didn't say, but I figure that the hiring manager at the other company will likely be there. What am I supposed to do, pretend that I don't know him when I will have met him the day before?

Is this as awkward as I think it is or am I making a big deal out of nothing? Anybody been in a similar situation before lol?

Wes
Wesley Crusher is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 11:56 AM   #2
Abdullah71601
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Calumet Harbor
Watch: ing da Bears
Posts: 13,568
Good luck Wes.
Abdullah71601 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 11:58 AM   #3
GradyPhilpott
2024 Pledge Member
 
GradyPhilpott's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: New Mexico
Watch: Tudor Big Rose
Posts: 34,329
If you will be attending a social event, then the answer would be to not discuss business, or at least that aspect of the business.

Also, I would discuss the issue with the hiring manager of the other company to get his feel for the situation.

The other option would be to not attend the affair, unless it is mandatory.
__________________
JJ

Inaugural TRF $50 Watch Challenge Winner
GradyPhilpott is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 12:30 PM   #4
TheVTCGuy
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Real Name: Paul
Location: San Diego
Watch: 126619LB
Posts: 21,541
Wes, I’ll go in your place, I’ll accept the job.
TheVTCGuy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 01:22 PM   #5
Chewbacca
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2012
Real Name: CJ
Location: Kashyyyk
Watch: Kessel Run Chrono
Posts: 21,113
Don’t say anything and still go to the meetup. It’s nobodys business and you haven’t done anything wrong.

But, that current commute is a killer and the extra money is a great bonus.

From the sounds of it, you’re not sold yet, but I’d certainly get something on paper.
Chewbacca is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 01:30 PM   #6
Swiss Mad!
"TRF" Member
 
Swiss Mad!'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Real Name: Max
Location: UK
Watch: Various
Posts: 3,722
Just be honest with the guy that's interviewing you and explain your concerns regarding the possibility of an awkward exchange when being introduced for 'the first time' at the next days function.

If the interview goes well and he wants you to join his company, then I'm sure he'll play along.

Good luck



Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk
__________________

instagram: max.parkin
Swiss Mad! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 01:30 PM   #7
Investr
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Real Name: Rick
Location: LSU
Watch: Constantly changes
Posts: 3,815
I’d like to quote Walter White- “tread lightly”......
Investr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 01:32 PM   #8
Investr
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Real Name: Rick
Location: LSU
Watch: Constantly changes
Posts: 3,815
On a serious note- do not go to the dinner on Thursday, simple!
Investr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 01:40 PM   #9
BNA/LION
2024 Pledge Member
 
BNA/LION's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Real Name: Larry
Location: San Diego, CA
Watch: ROLEX
Posts: 25,123
Ask your boss who from the other company invited you or who is going to the dinner. Maybe they aren't even anyone you need to be concerned with.

I'd also go to the interview and make it clear that you would like your interview to be discrete. You would prefer your boss and the new company employees not know about your decision to interview. Let the hiring manager know your boss was invited to a dinner with his associates, you would likely be attending and keeping your interview confidential while avoiding any potential awkwardness at the dinner is important to you.

Good Luck!
__________________

✦ 28238 President DD 18K/YG ✦ 16610LN SS Sub ✦ 16613 18K/SS Serti ✦ 16550 Exp II Non-Rail Cream Dial ✦ Daytona C 116500 ✦ 126710 BLRO GMT-Master II ✦ NEXT-->?
Hole In One! 10/3/19 DMCC 5th hole, par 3, 168 yards w/ 4-Iron.
BNA/LION is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 02:16 PM   #10
bdex75
"TRF" Member
 
bdex75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Real Name: Brandon
Location: Indianapolis
Watch: my money vanish
Posts: 8,506
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesley Crusher View Post
Hey all,



A recruiter from another company (same industry) contacted me about a role they're trying to fill. The job sounds interesting, my commute would be MUCH better (30 minutes vs 1.5 hours), and it's a promotional opportunity where I stand to get a ~50% raise.



My industry is very incestuous. Most people know each other from the various companies and have likely worked with each other at some point. My boss knows the hiring manager at the other company very well, however, I don't know him. I am supposed to have an interview with the hiring manager at the other company next Wednesday.



Here's the awkward part... Today my boss tells me that some guys from the other company (we do business with each other) are inviting us to dinner next Thursday. My boss didn't say, but I figure that the hiring manager at the other company will likely be there. What am I supposed to do, pretend that I don't know him when I will have met him the day before?



Is this as awkward as I think it is or am I making a big deal out of nothing? Anybody been in a similar situation before lol?



Wes


I too am in a very incestuous business. It is nothing to have multiple people from different companies at the same social functions or to even hang out with each other as we have all worked together somewhere at some point.

It is not uncommon for people to jump ship and move around. And there never seems to be any tension.

If you work in a business like that then it wouldn’t be uncommon for you to know him. I would play it like you know him and don’t think it will be odd.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
bdex75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 03:35 PM   #11
Wesley Crusher
"TRF" Member
 
Wesley Crusher's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Real Name: Wes
Location: Holosuite
Posts: 6,345
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abdullah71601 View Post
Good luck Wes.
Thanks. I'll let you guys know what happens.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GradyPhilpott View Post
If you will be attending a social event, then the answer would be to not discuss business, or at least that aspect of the business.

Also, I would discuss the issue with the hiring manager of the other company to get his feel for the situation.

The other option would be to not attend the affair, unless it is mandatory.
I definitely plan on bringing this up on Wednesday. It's an awkward situation and I just want to get ahead of it.

Not going isn't an option. The last time the guys at the other company took us to dinner, I was actually sick and couldn't make it. If I bail a second time, I think it would send the wrong message.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy View Post
Wes, I’ll go in your place, I’ll accept the job.
Ok, but take me with you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chewbacca View Post
Don’t say anything and still go to the meetup. It’s nobodys business and you haven’t done anything wrong.

But, that current commute is a killer and the extra money is a great bonus.

From the sounds of it, you’re not sold yet, but I’d certainly get something on paper.
Yea, I don't think I am doing anything wrong. It's just a weird situation.

Yea, my commute is killer. When I took the job, I thought I could handle it, but after a year and a half, it's starting to get to me. I get 5 hours of sleep a night (or less) and I think it's starting to take a toll on me.

And you're right. I am not totally sold yet on the new opportunity because I am also in talks with another company about a roll they are trying to fill. Similar perks. 30 min commute. Promotional opportunity with ~50% raise. It's in a totally different industry (an industry that I am very interested in).


Quote:
Originally Posted by Swiss Mad! View Post
Just be honest with the guy that's interviewing you and explain your concerns regarding the possibility of an awkward exchange when being introduced for 'the first time' at the next days function.

If the interview goes well and he wants you to join his company, then I'm sure he'll play along.

Good luck



Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk
Thanks. That's more or less my plan right now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Investr View Post
On a serious note- do not go to the dinner on Thursday, simple!
Not sure if that is an option. As I mentioned, I bailed on the last dinner so if I do it twice in a row, that may backfire on me (if not with the other company, then with my existing one).

Quote:
Originally Posted by BNA/LION View Post
Ask your boss who from the other company invited you or who is going to the dinner. Maybe they aren't even anyone you need to be concerned with.

I'd also go to the interview and make it clear that you would like your interview to be discrete. You would prefer your boss and the new company employees not know about your decision to interview. Let the hiring manager know your boss was invited to a dinner with his associates, you would likely be attending and keeping your interview confidential while avoiding any potential awkwardness at the dinner is important to you.

Good Luck!
Thanks Larry. I will try to get some intel about who will be at dinner, but I have a feeling that the hiring manager at the other company will be there because he is a part of the group that my group does business with.

I think asking for some discretion is totally understandable, I was just really caught off guard when my boss told me about dinner. Talk about bad timing!

Quote:
Originally Posted by bdex75 View Post
I too am in a very incestuous business. It is nothing to have multiple people from different companies at the same social functions or to even hang out with each other as we have all worked together somewhere at some point.

It is not uncommon for people to jump ship and move around. And there never seems to be any tension.

If you work in a business like that then it wouldn’t be uncommon for you to know him. I would play it like you know him and don’t think it will be odd.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
I'm not worried so much about the act of jumping ship. It happens. And when given the opportunity for promotion with a big pay raise, you can't blame anybody for taking that opportunity. Any reasonable person would do it.

I am just worried about the possible awkward situation of pretending not to know somebody when I will have met him the day before. I'm sure it happens, but this is a first for me.
Wesley Crusher is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 03:41 PM   #12
tritium8
"TRF" Member
 
tritium8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Real Name: N8
Location: L.A.
Watch: 216570
Posts: 1,745
Definitely sounds like a trap!

Drive the M5 incase a quick getaway is needed!

I don't think it would be out of like to ask the hiring manager to keep the meeting private until a decision is made. Doubt he'll do it but you gotta let him know. Good luck either way! Hope it all works out!
tritium8 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 07:26 PM   #13
superdog
2024 Pledge Member
 
superdog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Real Name: Seth
Location: nj
Watch: Omega
Posts: 24,632
That’s a tough one.

Sounds like a super opportunity.

I’d likely speak with the hiring manager first. He will likely respect your position and ensure your comfort levels.
__________________
If happiness is a state of mind, why look anywhere else for it?

IG: gsmotorclub
IG: thesawcollection

(Both mostly just car stuff)
superdog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 07:56 PM   #14
walds11
"TRF" Member
 
walds11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Real Name: Adam
Location: Philly ‘burbs
Posts: 5,629
Tough situation, but much shorter commute and monster raise, no brainer there. Make it work. Talk to the hiring manager up front.
__________________
Adam
walds11 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 08:07 PM   #15
ProdigalGil
"TRF" Member
 
ProdigalGil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: London
Watch: Rolex DJ II 116334
Posts: 114
Business is business and as long as you stay professional in the topics of conversation where appropriate, than should not matter to turn up to both event.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
ProdigalGil is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 08:39 PM   #16
Fat_ninja
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2018
Real Name: Jonathan
Location: USA
Watch: P-01
Posts: 11,772
Make sure to wear your Rolex :)
Fat_ninja is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 08:44 PM   #17
Andad
2024 Pledge Member
 
Andad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Real Name: Eddie
Location: Australia
Watch: A few.
Posts: 36,695
Accept the new job before the dinner.

Enjoy ther dinner.

And yes, wear a Rolex.
__________________
E

Andad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 09:22 PM   #18
dddrees
"TRF" Member
 
dddrees's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Real Name: Dan
Location: USA
Watch: This N That
Posts: 34,251
Odd and uncomfortable situation, Good luck Wes.
__________________
When it captures your imagination, that's when you know you have found your passion.

Loyal Foot Soldier of The Nylon Nation.

Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of
Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons
dddrees is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 09:33 PM   #19
bdex75
"TRF" Member
 
bdex75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Real Name: Brandon
Location: Indianapolis
Watch: my money vanish
Posts: 8,506
I don’t know if it’s safe to wear a Rolex in this situation Wes. Maybe another new post is in order to clarify????

But seriously, I think (and I’m sure you know) that there is a lot more to it than commute and pay. I take below top tier pay at my current firm for stability and a benefits package that is worth an extra 25% of cash comp.

I have seen my buddies jump around and have always stayed the course. Probably has a lot to do with the fact that I have a wife and 2 high school aged kids that will want to go to college soon. My appetite for risk is probably s little less than others. Just spoke to a coworker about that last night. Even within our firm there are high turnover spots. And I tend to avoid those because the appeal of even 50% more comp is not enough risk based capital to know that I probably only get it for 4-5 years. Now if I were 62 instead of 42 and my kids were grown and my retirement accounts set, sure I take the chance.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
bdex75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 10:52 PM   #20
Art 1
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida, Canada
Watch: Rol/Seik/Tud/Omega
Posts: 30,244
That is a very odd situation. Not sure what I would do.
Art 1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 11:04 PM   #21
indexmatch
"TRF" Member
 
indexmatch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: SF
Watch: BLNR, 116655, 5164
Posts: 191
Honestly, I think this is a great opportunity to learn more about the culture at the other firm.

If you speak with the hiring manager and mention your concerns ahead of time, you can get a sense for whether they'll respect your desire for discretion. If they're willing to accommodate you in this situation it's a helpful datapoint as you evaluate the culture and how they value employees.

I've never interviewed with a competitor that didn't respect my wishes for confidentiality and I would never work for a firm that wouldn't respect that request. If they refuse, or it comes up at the dinner, obviously that should eliminate that company as a contender for your employment. If that scenario plays out, I'd explain it to the current firm and be honest that the other company offered you a lot more money and you owed it to your family to evaluate the opportunity and ultimately decided you liked the equity you've built up at your current firm and have no desire to leave. Heck, might even get you a raise!

Just a thought, probably how I'd play it, but I'm sure we work in different industries with different personalities. All the best and good luck!
indexmatch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 June 2018, 11:07 PM   #22
Chiboy
"TRF" Member
 
Chiboy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Chicago
Watch: Daytona
Posts: 5,364
A) I would think discretion would be automatic for the hiring manager. But a short comment from you should cement that.

B) Sounds like an incoming will be announced shortly with multiple +50% opportunities on the horizon!
__________________
Datejust w/black Tapestry dial (1985) / Daytona (2016)
Chiboy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23 June 2018, 12:49 AM   #23
GB-man
2024 Pledge Member
 
GB-man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: USA
Watch: addiction issues
Posts: 36,815
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chiboy View Post
A) I would think discretion would be automatic for the hiring manager. But a short comment from you should cement that.

B) Sounds like an incoming will be announced shortly with multiple +50% opportunities on the horizon!
agreed haha although Wes has been on a roll with the cars lately!
__________________
GB-man is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23 June 2018, 01:03 AM   #24
function12
"TRF" Member
 
function12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 518
Family emergency comes up and you can not attend.
Someone slips up and this could be bad all the way around.
function12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23 June 2018, 01:15 AM   #25
Chewbacca
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2012
Real Name: CJ
Location: Kashyyyk
Watch: Kessel Run Chrono
Posts: 21,113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chewbacca View Post
Don’t say anything and still go to the meetup. It’s nobodys business and you haven’t done anything wrong.

But, that current commute is a killer and the extra money is a great bonus.

From the sounds of it, you’re not sold yet, but I’d certainly get something on paper.
Yea, I don't think I am doing anything wrong. It's just a weird situation.

Yea, my commute is killer. When I took the job, I thought I could handle it, but after a year and a half, it's starting to get to me. I get 5 hours of sleep a night (or less) and I think it's starting to take a toll on me.

And you're right. I am not totally sold yet on the new opportunity because I am also in talks with another company about a roll they are trying to fill. Similar perks. 30 min commute. Promotional opportunity with ~50% raise. It's in a totally different industry (an industry that I am very interested in).


nice.

remember, any time you run into industry colleagues, in any setting, its a potential job interview.

that's what i told one of my earlier bosses out of college, because my dad told me that when i was mixing pizza dough at 14 in the summers.

if i'm doing my job right, a boss should be proud that competitors see the value.

that'll make a good boss pause and reflect before calling you judas.

i actually got an unrequested pay bump and title in one instance to pre-empt a departure after having a sit down with an early boss after he asked me if i was 'happy', after a competitor opened shop in our office building.

every day is a day towards your next job... mature bosses who value their teams know this.


enjoy the new gig!
Chewbacca is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23 June 2018, 01:18 AM   #26
FTX I
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Real Name: Flavio
Location: N/A
Posts: 14,652
Best of luck my friend.
FTX I is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23 June 2018, 01:24 AM   #27
Abdullah71601
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Calumet Harbor
Watch: ing da Bears
Posts: 13,568
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chewbacca View Post

nice.

remember, any time you run into industry colleagues, in any setting, its a potential job interview.

that's what i told one of my earlier bosses out of college, because my dad told me that when i was mixing pizza dough at 14 in the summers.

if i'm doing my job right, a boss should be proud that competitors see the value.

that'll make a good boss pause and reflect before calling you judas.

i actually got an unrequested pay bump and title in one instance to pre-empt a departure after having a sit down with an early boss after he asked me if i was 'happy', after a competitor opened shop in our office building.

every day is a day towards your next job... mature bosses who value their teams know this.


enjoy the new gig!
Unfortunately, most bosses take this the wrong way. It is quite common for employers to cut you loose if they know you’re looking. I think it’s a valid concern for Wes in this situation.

It would be best to have an offer in hand prior to attending the shindig. Otherwise, tread lightly.
Abdullah71601 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23 June 2018, 01:24 AM   #28
brandrea
2024 Pledge Member
 
brandrea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Real Name: Brian (TBone)
Location: canada
Watch: es make me smile
Posts: 73,125
Go to the dinner and just be yourself. Good luck
brandrea is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 23 June 2018, 01:38 AM   #29
Chewbacca
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2012
Real Name: CJ
Location: Kashyyyk
Watch: Kessel Run Chrono
Posts: 21,113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abdullah71601 View Post
Unfortunately, most bosses take this the wrong way. It is quite common for employers to cut you loose if they know you’re looking. I think it’s a valid concern for Wes in this situation.

It would be best to have an offer in hand prior to attending the shindig. Otherwise, tread lightly.
so true.

i should have said leaders.

Chewbacca is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23 June 2018, 01:41 AM   #30
AK797
2024 Pledge Member
 
AK797's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Real Name: Neil
Location: UK
Watch: ing ships roll in
Posts: 59,068
Quote:
Originally Posted by brandrea View Post
Go to the dinner and just be yourself. Good luck
I say watch Brando and De Niro, and be someone else.

Or have a strategic cold.
AK797 is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Takuya Watches

Bobs Watches

My Watch LLC

OCWatches

DavidSW Watches

Coronet


*Banners Of The Month*
This space is provided to horological resources.





Copyright ©2004-2024, The Rolex Forums. All Rights Reserved.

ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

Rolex is a registered trademark of ROLEX USA. The Rolex Forums is not affiliated with ROLEX USA in any way.