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22 June 2018, 11:47 AM | #1 |
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Well, this is awkward...
Hey all,
A recruiter from another company (same industry) contacted me about a role they're trying to fill. The job sounds interesting, my commute would be MUCH better (30 minutes vs 1.5 hours), and it's a promotional opportunity where I stand to get a ~50% raise. My industry is very incestuous. Most people know each other from the various companies and have likely worked with each other at some point. My boss knows the hiring manager at the other company very well, however, I don't know him. I am supposed to have an interview with the hiring manager at the other company next Wednesday. Here's the awkward part... Today my boss tells me that some guys from the other company (we do business with each other) are inviting us to dinner next Thursday. My boss didn't say, but I figure that the hiring manager at the other company will likely be there. What am I supposed to do, pretend that I don't know him when I will have met him the day before? Is this as awkward as I think it is or am I making a big deal out of nothing? Anybody been in a similar situation before lol? Wes |
22 June 2018, 11:56 AM | #2 |
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Good luck Wes.
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22 June 2018, 11:58 AM | #3 |
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If you will be attending a social event, then the answer would be to not discuss business, or at least that aspect of the business.
Also, I would discuss the issue with the hiring manager of the other company to get his feel for the situation. The other option would be to not attend the affair, unless it is mandatory.
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22 June 2018, 12:30 PM | #4 |
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Wes, I’ll go in your place, I’ll accept the job.
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22 June 2018, 01:22 PM | #5 |
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Don’t say anything and still go to the meetup. It’s nobodys business and you haven’t done anything wrong.
But, that current commute is a killer and the extra money is a great bonus. From the sounds of it, you’re not sold yet, but I’d certainly get something on paper. |
22 June 2018, 01:30 PM | #6 |
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Just be honest with the guy that's interviewing you and explain your concerns regarding the possibility of an awkward exchange when being introduced for 'the first time' at the next days function.
If the interview goes well and he wants you to join his company, then I'm sure he'll play along. Good luck Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk
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22 June 2018, 01:30 PM | #7 |
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I’d like to quote Walter White- “tread lightly”......
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22 June 2018, 01:32 PM | #8 |
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On a serious note- do not go to the dinner on Thursday, simple!
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22 June 2018, 01:40 PM | #9 |
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Ask your boss who from the other company invited you or who is going to the dinner. Maybe they aren't even anyone you need to be concerned with.
I'd also go to the interview and make it clear that you would like your interview to be discrete. You would prefer your boss and the new company employees not know about your decision to interview. Let the hiring manager know your boss was invited to a dinner with his associates, you would likely be attending and keeping your interview confidential while avoiding any potential awkwardness at the dinner is important to you. Good Luck!
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22 June 2018, 02:16 PM | #10 | |
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Quote:
I too am in a very incestuous business. It is nothing to have multiple people from different companies at the same social functions or to even hang out with each other as we have all worked together somewhere at some point. It is not uncommon for people to jump ship and move around. And there never seems to be any tension. If you work in a business like that then it wouldn’t be uncommon for you to know him. I would play it like you know him and don’t think it will be odd. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro |
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22 June 2018, 03:35 PM | #11 | |||||
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Thanks. I'll let you guys know what happens.
Quote:
Not going isn't an option. The last time the guys at the other company took us to dinner, I was actually sick and couldn't make it. If I bail a second time, I think it would send the wrong message. Ok, but take me with you! Quote:
Yea, my commute is killer. When I took the job, I thought I could handle it, but after a year and a half, it's starting to get to me. I get 5 hours of sleep a night (or less) and I think it's starting to take a toll on me. And you're right. I am not totally sold yet on the new opportunity because I am also in talks with another company about a roll they are trying to fill. Similar perks. 30 min commute. Promotional opportunity with ~50% raise. It's in a totally different industry (an industry that I am very interested in). Quote:
Not sure if that is an option. As I mentioned, I bailed on the last dinner so if I do it twice in a row, that may backfire on me (if not with the other company, then with my existing one). Quote:
I think asking for some discretion is totally understandable, I was just really caught off guard when my boss told me about dinner. Talk about bad timing! Quote:
I am just worried about the possible awkward situation of pretending not to know somebody when I will have met him the day before. I'm sure it happens, but this is a first for me. |
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22 June 2018, 03:41 PM | #12 |
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Definitely sounds like a trap!
Drive the M5 incase a quick getaway is needed! I don't think it would be out of like to ask the hiring manager to keep the meeting private until a decision is made. Doubt he'll do it but you gotta let him know. Good luck either way! Hope it all works out! |
22 June 2018, 07:26 PM | #13 |
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That’s a tough one.
Sounds like a super opportunity. I’d likely speak with the hiring manager first. He will likely respect your position and ensure your comfort levels.
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22 June 2018, 07:56 PM | #14 |
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Tough situation, but much shorter commute and monster raise, no brainer there. Make it work. Talk to the hiring manager up front.
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22 June 2018, 08:07 PM | #15 |
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Business is business and as long as you stay professional in the topics of conversation where appropriate, than should not matter to turn up to both event.
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22 June 2018, 08:39 PM | #16 |
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Make sure to wear your Rolex :)
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22 June 2018, 08:44 PM | #17 |
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Accept the new job before the dinner.
Enjoy ther dinner. And yes, wear a Rolex.
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22 June 2018, 09:22 PM | #18 |
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Odd and uncomfortable situation, Good luck Wes.
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22 June 2018, 09:33 PM | #19 |
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I don’t know if it’s safe to wear a Rolex in this situation Wes. Maybe another new post is in order to clarify????
But seriously, I think (and I’m sure you know) that there is a lot more to it than commute and pay. I take below top tier pay at my current firm for stability and a benefits package that is worth an extra 25% of cash comp. I have seen my buddies jump around and have always stayed the course. Probably has a lot to do with the fact that I have a wife and 2 high school aged kids that will want to go to college soon. My appetite for risk is probably s little less than others. Just spoke to a coworker about that last night. Even within our firm there are high turnover spots. And I tend to avoid those because the appeal of even 50% more comp is not enough risk based capital to know that I probably only get it for 4-5 years. Now if I were 62 instead of 42 and my kids were grown and my retirement accounts set, sure I take the chance. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro |
22 June 2018, 10:52 PM | #20 |
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That is a very odd situation. Not sure what I would do.
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22 June 2018, 11:04 PM | #21 |
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Honestly, I think this is a great opportunity to learn more about the culture at the other firm.
If you speak with the hiring manager and mention your concerns ahead of time, you can get a sense for whether they'll respect your desire for discretion. If they're willing to accommodate you in this situation it's a helpful datapoint as you evaluate the culture and how they value employees. I've never interviewed with a competitor that didn't respect my wishes for confidentiality and I would never work for a firm that wouldn't respect that request. If they refuse, or it comes up at the dinner, obviously that should eliminate that company as a contender for your employment. If that scenario plays out, I'd explain it to the current firm and be honest that the other company offered you a lot more money and you owed it to your family to evaluate the opportunity and ultimately decided you liked the equity you've built up at your current firm and have no desire to leave. Heck, might even get you a raise! Just a thought, probably how I'd play it, but I'm sure we work in different industries with different personalities. All the best and good luck! |
22 June 2018, 11:07 PM | #22 |
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A) I would think discretion would be automatic for the hiring manager. But a short comment from you should cement that.
B) Sounds like an incoming will be announced shortly with multiple +50% opportunities on the horizon!
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23 June 2018, 12:49 AM | #23 |
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agreed haha although Wes has been on a roll with the cars lately!
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23 June 2018, 01:03 AM | #24 |
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Family emergency comes up and you can not attend.
Someone slips up and this could be bad all the way around. |
23 June 2018, 01:15 AM | #25 |
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chewbacca View Post Don’t say anything and still go to the meetup. It’s nobodys business and you haven’t done anything wrong. But, that current commute is a killer and the extra money is a great bonus. From the sounds of it, you’re not sold yet, but I’d certainly get something on paper. Yea, I don't think I am doing anything wrong. It's just a weird situation. Yea, my commute is killer. When I took the job, I thought I could handle it, but after a year and a half, it's starting to get to me. I get 5 hours of sleep a night (or less) and I think it's starting to take a toll on me. And you're right. I am not totally sold yet on the new opportunity because I am also in talks with another company about a roll they are trying to fill. Similar perks. 30 min commute. Promotional opportunity with ~50% raise. It's in a totally different industry (an industry that I am very interested in). nice. remember, any time you run into industry colleagues, in any setting, its a potential job interview. that's what i told one of my earlier bosses out of college, because my dad told me that when i was mixing pizza dough at 14 in the summers. if i'm doing my job right, a boss should be proud that competitors see the value. that'll make a good boss pause and reflect before calling you judas. i actually got an unrequested pay bump and title in one instance to pre-empt a departure after having a sit down with an early boss after he asked me if i was 'happy', after a competitor opened shop in our office building. every day is a day towards your next job... mature bosses who value their teams know this. enjoy the new gig! |
23 June 2018, 01:18 AM | #26 |
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Best of luck my friend.
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23 June 2018, 01:24 AM | #27 | |
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Quote:
It would be best to have an offer in hand prior to attending the shindig. Otherwise, tread lightly. |
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23 June 2018, 01:24 AM | #28 |
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Go to the dinner and just be yourself. Good luck
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23 June 2018, 01:38 AM | #29 | |
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i should have said leaders. |
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23 June 2018, 01:41 AM | #30 |
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