Au Pair Considerations

[handsfull]

Sorry for the delay/work calls. Love hearing the backgrounds from others, it's good to hear people doing great things with what they are/were handed to them. Actually, downright inspiring.

Maybe I wasn't clear enough in my earlier posts....but I maintain that if you have two parents (who are still married, not divorced/estranged/one in prison/etc)....nothing can replace them as parents. Not an au pair, nanny, nurse, dog, cat, ferrari, etc. My main point being, if your putting your career before your kids, your doing your children a disservice. Are their exceptions? Certainly.
Its disturbing hearing couples say how they are so 'busy' at work while their kids are home with their nanny because neither of them want to quit their 'high-paying' job. Then some actually wonder why the kids grow up with issues.

[SMD]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

There's nothing inherently wrong with a nanny. It helps to be careful because some are great in the interview but not-so-nice when it's just them and the child. Others are too permissive, due to the awkwardness of disciplining someone else's child.

A lot of people associate nannies with the very wealthy. that's not true, in my experience. If dad is making 5 million, there's limited value in hiring a nanny and having mom earn 200K. But if dad makes 300k and mom makes 200k, then hiring a nanny could make a lot of sense.

This is spot on. It's the "middle class" professionals in NYC, for example, who are the primary consumers of extra help. 50k for school (per kid because almost all public schools are terrible), 50% marginal tax rates makes it very difficult to have only one job in the city. Staying home doesn't pay school tuition or mortgage/ five figure rent. Few other points - I want my daughter to have a working mother as a role model. She will support herself, and sure as shit will not be going to grad school for an "mrs" degree. Second, at 5 years old kids are in school full time so what does the stay at home spouse do then? Being out of the workforce for 5 years in some professions is death. Me and my wife are with our kids for breakfast and dinner and bedtime every day. Does someone help with baths and getting the kids to and from their separate activities? Of course, even one stay at home spouse cannot be in two places at once.

[rolexgiants]

I have 3 kids... my oldest is 5 years old. He has basketball, soccer, baseball, and tennis activities all after school. The other two also have activities all over Manhattan. My wife is a stay at home mom. It would be an impossibility for her to be 3 places at the same time. I leave my office religiously when the market closes at 4pm. I then go and watch my kids play at their activities...I want my kids busy, not sitting home in front of the TV... MY WIFE AND KIDS ARE MY WORLD! After work I'm with them 24/7. Now... all I wish for is ZERO estate tax for my wife and kids! LOL. I'm 15 years older than my wife and I never want her to worry about money when I'm gone! A nanny with multiple kids in Manhattan is a must. There's no way around it.