Au Pair Considerations

[Knappo 1307]

Originally Posted by BristolCavendish

Back to topic. I was also somewhat concerned about any health care responsibilities on the part of the employer. Turns out that an au pair must provide their own health insurance coverage as per a U.S. State Department mandate, something called 'visitor's insurance'.

Based on the majority of these insightful responses, I can safely assume that few here have any parental experience in this area. It must be nice to somehow be able to devote all of one's energy and resources towards purely whimsical and self-serving endeavors. Some folks have all the luck.

You're right, they are busy raising their own children......

[Muzz]

Originally Posted by bayerische

Steve out of curiosity I ask, these Au Pairs you currently have, who are in their twenties, you mention they have kids... Where are these girls from?

Hi Andreas;

The ladies are Vietnamese (same as my Wife) and they are from smaller communities outside of major cities (such as Ho Chi Minh). They come from strong family values and are of similar demeanour as my Wife.

Now English is a problem (only with me as the kids understand both languages in our house) however I am actually really easy to read and it has never been an issue as they take care of the kids and not me.

One Au Pair goes to Church and one goes to Pagoda and we ensure they have ample time without question.

As I live in HCMC this isn't an issue however if I get reassigned I will beg them to come with us as they are like family.

[bayerische]

Originally Posted by Muzz

Hi Andreas;

The ladies are Vietnamese (same as my Wife) and they are from smaller communities outside of major cities (such as Ho Chi Minh). They come from strong family values and are of similar demeanour as my Wife.

Now English is a problem (only with me as the kids understand both languages in our house) however I am actually really easy to read and it has never been an issue as they take care of the kids and not me.

One Au Pair goes to Church and one goes to Pagoda and we ensure they have ample time without question.

As I live in HCMC this isn't an issue however if I get reassigned I will beg them to come with us as they are like family.

I guessed they may be Asian. Who cares for their children while they are working for you?

[GB-man]

Originally Posted by Wesley Crusher

The last time I recall somebody saying Au Pair was Pete Campbell from Mad Men.

Funny I was thinking of archer. Hilarious cartoon if you haven't seen it.

Originally Posted by droptopman

After reading this, I am considering one. We don't have kids but a smoking hot European gal around the house seems like a great idea. Not sure how the wife would feel about it though...
Actually I do know, she would assault me

Ding ding ding. I just became motivated to make more money

[Muzz]

Originally Posted by bayerische

I guessed they may be Asian. Who cares for their children while they are working for you?

Their parents and their husbands. Families come together from both sides and help out.

We like to send care packages out for the kids (clothes and chocolates) when appropriate.

Our house is set up with a strong Wifi on each level so they can do video calling with loved ones. The same way when I am out on business trips with the Wife and kids.

[bayerische]

Originally Posted by Muzz

Their parents and their husbands. Families come together from both sides and help out.

We like to send care packages out for the kids (clothes and chocolates) when appropriate.

Our house is set up with a strong Wifi on each level so they can do video calling with loved ones. The same way when I am out on business trips with the Wife and kids.

Must be hard for the Moms though to be away from their own. But I guess they make quite a good salary from it compared to many jobs back in Vietnam.

[gulfstream69xr7]

My two children are grown and moved away. However, the idea of having "Miss Iceland" around the house a few hours a day seems like a nice idea.

[Muzz]

Originally Posted by bayerische

Must be hard for the Moms though to be away from their own. But I guess they make quite a good salary from it compared to many jobs back in Vietnam.

Absolutely!! So we do everything in our power to make everyone smile every day!!

[landroverking]

We had one from Germany. My wife voiced concerns at first but no dramas.we have also had interns in our business as well, no problems.

[handsfull]

Never understood the Au pair/Nanny. If you can afford to have one (or more), then you can afford to have one parent stay home and take care of YOUR own children. It truly baffles me. Why have children to begin with?

[Muzz]

Originally Posted by handsfull

Never understood the Au pair/Nanny. If you can afford to have one (or more), then you can afford to have one parent stay home and take care of YOUR own children. It truly baffles me. Why have children to begin with?

1) You do not know everyone's situation to make a statement like that.

2) Some of our Wives do stay at home as well

3) You do not know everyone's expectations of their children

4) Some of us personally care for our parents as well.

5) Your input adds no value to the OP's question.

[TannerBoyl]

My boss had an Au Pair from Switzerland when her son was first born. Everything was fine until the neighbors commented on the beautiful, young lady who sunbathed in the buff on the balcony. Needless to say, she let the Au Pair go.

I think it is important to establish a code of conduct, though, I'm not sure how I would try to broach the subject. Just my two cents.

Good luck!

[handsfull]

Originally Posted by Muzz

1) You do not know everyone's situation to make a statement like that.

2) Some of our Wives do stay at home as well

3) You do not know everyone's expectations of their children

4) Some of us personally care for our parents as well.

5) Your input adds no value to the OP's question.

1. I do not know everyone's situation, but of all the nanny/au pair households I've encountered (and I've seen many), I've never seen a situation that warranted it. Typically parents who are more concerned with the social/economic ladder or just plain not interested/unmotivated to be with their own kids.

2. Relevance?

3. Don't need to.

4. Zero relevance.

5. To you, yes....it clearly has no value.

[CLTRolex]

If you're worried about having an affair with a nanny - you probably shouldn't be married..

[superdog]

Originally Posted by CLTRolex

If you're worried about having an affair with a nanny - you probably shouldn't be married..

I'd say this...

My closest pal has 3 kids that are extremely difficult and a wife that finds drama everywhere.

Every year they get a new au pair from Brazil. No issues. No concerns. No cheating.

It works out very well for them.

[michaelodonnell123]

Originally Posted by handsfull

Never understood the Au pair/Nanny. If you can afford to have one (or more), then you can afford to have one parent stay home and take care of YOUR own children. It truly baffles me. Why have children to begin with?

I agree with you 100%. Parents who want to actually raise their kids would never use a nanny. If you are taking care of parents as well, then get a Nanny for them, not for your kids.

[superdog]

Originally Posted by michaelodonnell123

I agree with you 100%. Parents who want to actually raise their kids would never use a nanny. If you are taking care of parents as well, then get a Nanny for them, not for your kids.

That's a bit definitive and judgmental.

To each their own. What works for someone else, might now work for you.

[handsfull]

Originally Posted by superdog

I'd say this...

My closest pal has 3 kids that are extremely difficult and a wife that finds drama everywhere.

If that isn't the text book definition of 'cause and effect' (or effect to cause)...I don't know what is.

Originally Posted by superdog

It works out very well for them.

Adults? Maybe. Not working out so well for the kids though. :(

Originally Posted by superdog

That's a bit definitive and judgmental.

To each their own. What works for someone else, might now work for you.

The problem is, it doesn't work. Others (like the example above) believe it's 'working'....and the truth is....your just fooling yourself. Children need their parents raising them, not substitutes. If you can't raise your own children, simply don't have any. Not complicated whatsoever.

[rr-nyc]

Originally Posted by utc66

My wife and I have had Eleven (yes 11 Au Paurs) from many countries to watch our 3 kids. PM me if you want to learn more about our experience.

Cheers.

11 at one time? I don't get it

[superdog]

Originally Posted by handsfull

If that isn't the text book definition of 'cause and effect' (or effect to cause)...I don't know what is.



Adults? Maybe. Not working out so well for the kids though. :(





The problem is, it doesn't work. Others (like the example above) believe it's 'working'....and the truth is....your just fooling yourself. Children need their parents raising them, not substitutes. If you can't raise your own children, simply don't have any. Not complicated whatsoever.

All due respect, that's just kind of foolish.

Of course it works, for some. Sometimes people just need help.

And sometimes children raised solely by their parents turn out to be monsters.


Hard to say what is the correct path. I try not to tell others what is right for them. I leave that for the radical left and right.

For me personally, I've no desire for children at all. They all seem to be ungrateful money suckers that bring nothing but responsibility, difficulty, and challenge. But some people love having children in their lives. All the power and respect to them.

[superdog]

^^^

And how do you know if it's working for the kids or not? Do you know them?

Are you in their home? Seems relatively pompous to determine what is right for other people, that you are completely ignorant of.

[Aceldama]

Originally Posted by handsfull

Never understood the Au pair/Nanny. If you can afford to have one (or more), then you can afford to have one parent stay home and take care of YOUR own children. It truly baffles me. Why have children to begin with?

+1

I've had family members actually mention that they intend to have children, but don't want any impact to their social lives. To each his own. Personally, if my wife and I couldn't care for our children ourselves, we would not have had them.

[Knappo 1307]

Originally Posted by superdog

All due respect, that's just kind of foolish.

Of course it works, for some. Sometimes people just need help.

And sometimes children raised solely by their parents turn out to be monsters.


Hard to say what is the correct path. I try not to tell others what is right for them. I leave that for the radical left and right.

For me personally, I've no desire for children at all. They all seem to be ungrateful money suckers that bring nothing but responsibility, difficulty, and challenge. But some people love having children in their lives. All the power and respect to them.

Wow! I'm not sure where to take this? So, since you were someone's child, when you were young, do you see yourself now (back then) a money sucker, ungrateful? I realize children aren't for you, but to throw the word "all" children are ungrateful, money suckers, is totally wrong. They are for the most part an extension of the people who raise them. And yes my personal opinion is if you can't raise your own children, you should not have them. The occasional sitter, or after school, help is different. If you have children, you should raise them, the children didn't choose you, you chose to have them....JMHO

[Lawman77]

Originally Posted by superdog

All due respect, that's just kind of foolish.

Of course it works, for some. Sometimes people just need help.

And sometimes children raised solely by their parents turn out to be monsters.


Hard to say what is the correct path. I try not to tell others what is right for them. I leave that for the radical left and right.

For me personally, I've no desire for children at all. They all seem to be ungrateful money suckers that bring nothing but responsibility, difficulty, and challenge. But some people love having children in their lives. All the power and respect to them.

Really? I respect people who choose to not have kids, but I feel sorry for you if you see all kids in that light.

Curious if you have nieces/nephews? If your good buddies have kids? Why dont you share your opinion with them and see how that goes over. WOW

[superdog]

Originally Posted by Knappo 1307

Wow! I'm not sure where to take this? So, since you were someone's child, when you were young, do you see yourself now (back then) a money sucker, ungrateful? I realize children aren't for you, but to throw the word "all" children are ungrateful, money suckers, is totally wrong. They are for the most part an extension of the people who raise them. And yes my personal opinion is if you can't raise your own children, you should not have them. The occasional sitter, or after school, help is different. If you have children, you should raise them, the children didn't choose you, you chose to have them....JMHO

OK, that is very fair and I realize how my words came off strong.

And I withdraw my statement about "all".

However, it really does seem that all the parents I talk to do nothing but complain about how hard parenting is. And the older the kids get, the more ungrateful they appear. It appears that they put out nothing but love and care for their kids, while the children don't appear to appreciate it and/reciprocate.

I do realize that I am very much generalizing and I did not mean to cause insult.

And I am not trying to sound like a "good guy", but my parents did get lucky. I literally changed my life so that I could help them. And help them I have, and still do. My brother, raised the exact same, is a complete dead beat.

My parents busted their ass to give us a good life and opporunities. And my brother and I are exactly the opposite. And the more I talk to my folks about their friends experiences, it appears that very many do not have good relationships with their children.

Kids, get old, have their own life and move on. Often times, except for holidays and whatnot, most "children" no longer have time for their folks. I find it sad.

I am not judging anyone, but I do see way more examples of difficult ungrateful kids, than I do loving caring grateful kids. Maybe that is shame on me...but I have relationships with people from all walks of life, and it always appears the same.

Maybe I am just jaded so I see it the way I see it. That is possible. But the more I look, the more I see that the "good" kids are the exception to the rule.


Interestingly enough, I really don't have a dog in this race. I genuinely don't care as kids just aren't for me.

So I wil bow out now with a mea culpa and state again that I meant no harm. I am only referencing what I have seen, and that certainly is not fair to all situations and families.

[superdog]

Originally Posted by Lawman77

Really? I respect people who choose to not have kids, but I feel sorry for you if you see all kids in that light.

Curious if you have nieces/nephews? If your good buddies have kids? Why dont you share your opinion with them and see how that goes over. WOW

Please see above.

I have one niece, and yes, she has been a huge challenge.

And one nephew. Love him and appreciate him. But he is not yet 3, and I don't have to take care of him.

Dont feel bad for me. All is swell over here. It is what it is.

Oddly, my 4 closest buddies are all childless and they all seem to be living far more enjoyable lives than the rest of my friends with kids. My friends with kids complain non stop about how difficult it is. Friends, colleagues, associates etc. Typically the same story.

And yes, I share my feelings with all my friends. No one takes offense. Most state that they should have followed my path.

Again though, no offense meant.

[bayerische]

Originally Posted by Muzz

Absolutely!! So we do everything in our power to make everyone smile every day!!

I'm sure you do Steve.

[bayerische]

Originally Posted by handsfull

Never understood the Au pair/Nanny. If you can afford to have one (or more), then you can afford to have one parent stay home and take care of YOUR own children. It truly baffles me. Why have children to begin with?

LOL.

I'll leave it at that.

[rr-nyc]

My siblings and I were raised by a live-in nanny and called her grandma. (Not our real grandma). She was very much a part of our family to the extent that when someone mentions "grandma" we all think of our nanny before our real grandmothers.

Our parents are both physicians so I don't blame them for having help.

As parents, my wife and I are in the process of hiring a nanny but it's simply an alternative to day care for us. There is a long waiting list at reputable day care in NYC

I will say that if I or my wife weren't working, I would never consider this route. I'm with the crowd that sees no point in having a nanny or au pair if one of the parents were available.

[The Joker]

Just hope we get some pics at selection time.