Au Pair Considerations

[handsfull]

Originally Posted by bayerische

LOL.

I'll leave it at that.

^your wise. It's funny isn't it, such a simple concept! I love it when simple works.


Life is all about choices. Contrary to what everyone is spouting on the internet or what your 'friends' (wink-wink) are telling/feeding you.....YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL. Choices involve sacrifice. If you choose to have both parents work, your kids will suffer. Period. If you think otherwise, your fooling yourself.

[BristolCavendish]

Originally Posted by Xenophon

Given your track record and that the majority of your threads have been locked, I'd just like to say: IBTL

Thanks for your vote of confidence. As aforementioned in an earlier thread, it's oftentimes the follow-up responses that trigger certain 'lockdowns' as the moderators try to give every OP an opportunity to breathe providing the topics fall within forum guidelines regarding appropriateness and interactive courtesies.

To Muzz/bayerische/rr-nyc, appreciate your constructive feedback. This decision is still in the conceptual stages as the actual need is not a 24/7 requirement but rather one based on afterschool child safety and getting the ball rolling during the midweek AM hours when everyone is rushing about. Your accounts are successful ones worth striving towards. As far as 'fooling around' with an attractive au pair is concerned, it probably occurs from time to time but common sense should serve as a basic compass.

[bayerische]

Originally Posted by BristolCavendish

Thanks for your vote of confidence. As aforementioned in an earlier thread, it's oftentimes the follow-up responses that trigger certain 'lockdowns' as the moderators try to give every OP an opportunity to breathe providing the topics fall within forum guidelines regarding appropriateness and interactive courtesies.

To Muzz/bayerische/rr-nyc, appreciate your constructive feedback. This decision is still in the conceptual stages as the actual need is not a 24/7 requirement but rather one based on afterschool child safety and getting the ball rolling during the midweek AM hours when everyone is rushing about. Your accounts are successful ones worth striving towards. As far as 'fooling around' with an attractive au pair is concerned, it probably occurs from time to time but common sense should serve as a basic compass.

I learnt a lot about Canadian culture from "Gail", although it's not that different from ours. Haven't had contact with her in years, but it was a time of my life I'll never forget. I really do think Au Pair's give a lot more to kids than just "babysitting". Gail gave us a window into a country on the other side of the Atlantic. (I had been the the US several times by then, but never Canada) 🇨🇦

[mailman]

Originally Posted by handsfull

The problem is, it doesn't work. Others (like the example above) believe it's 'working'....and the truth is....your just fooling yourself. Children need their parents raising them, not substitutes. If you can't raise your own children, simply don't have any. Not complicated whatsoever.

Your being pretty judgmental. You don't know anyone's circumstances. This is all coming from a person who works his ass off so my wife can be a stay at home mom to our special needs child. So don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Everyone has a different situation

[Star Ferry]

There's nothing inherently wrong with a nanny. It helps to be careful because some are great in the interview but not-so-nice when it's just them and the child. Others are too permissive, due to the awkwardness of disciplining someone else's child.

A lot of people associate nannies with the very wealthy. that's not true, in my experience. If dad is making 5 million, there's limited value in hiring a nanny and having mom earn 200K. But if dad makes 300k and mom makes 200k, then hiring a nanny could make a lot of sense.

As for the risk of romance, that is a matter of self control and common sense. If a husband needs a mistress (which I don't condone) she should be several degrees separated from anyone in his household

[handsfull]

Originally Posted by mailman

Your being pretty judgmental. You don't know anyone's circumstances. This is all coming from a person who works his ass off so my wife can be a stay at home mom to our special needs child. So don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Everyone has a different situation

Your situation is not just different, but very different from the standard nanny involvement. Special needs requires just that....special NEEDS. Needs and wants are two completely different things, so I'm not the one telling you anything.

Hiring someone to watch your kids full time because your work life/status/aka $$$ trumps your family is just plain wrong. I too work full time++ to keep my family of 4 at home with their mom. I also came from a family that both parents worked full time++ (w/rotating shifts) just to provide food/roof over my head - no silver spoons/mom and dad help here. Judgemental = no....I just happen to know FIRST hand what no parents around brings to the table, and (intimately) the difference between needs and wants -so also no need to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.

[ELITEVIDEOGAMES]

Back in my single days I dated a German au pair. My first European woman boy was that an eye opener !

[East Bay Rider]

OP, be sure to ask the Au Pair if, in addition to caring for the children, she'll also clean up the occasional dog mess left behind by the neighbors.

[Knappo 1307]

Originally Posted by handsfull

Your situation is not just different, but very different from the standard nanny involvement. Special needs requires just that....special NEEDS. Needs and wants are two completely different things, so I'm not the one telling you anything.

Hiring someone to watch your kids full time because your work life/status/aka $$$ trumps your family is just plain wrong. I too work full time++ to keep my family of 4 at home with their mom. I also came from a family that both parents worked full time++ (w/rotating shifts) just to provide food/roof over my head - no silver spoons/mom and dad help here. Judgemental = no....I just happen to know FIRST hand what no parents around brings to the table, and (intimately) the difference between needs and wants -so also no need to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.

[mailman]

Originally Posted by handsfull

Your situation is not just different, but very different from the standard nanny involvement. Special needs requires just that....special NEEDS. Needs and wants are two completely different things, so I'm not the one telling you anything.

Hiring someone to watch your kids full time because your work life/status/aka $$$ trumps your family is just plain wrong. I too work full time++ to keep my family of 4 at home with their mom. I also came from a family that both parents worked full time++ (w/rotating shifts) just to provide food/roof over my head - no silver spoons/mom and dad help here. Judgemental = no....I just happen to know FIRST hand what no parents around brings to the table, and (intimately) the difference between needs and wants -so also no need to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.

Everyone's situation is different. I applaud you for doing what you are. I've seen situations where one parent leaves. Now the other one has to get a job. Kids go to day care or have sitter come over after school. That's necessity. A member above states their parents need help. A nanny can discipline a child so it isn't like the kids alone running the streets. That's wonderful he helps them out. I'd do whatever I could for mine also before letting someone else take care of them. As far as stay at home parents go, sometimes they need a break too. Even if it's for one afternoon a month. Trust me it helps with their patience and well being. If someone wants a full time nanny that's their business not mine. You can't tell people how to raise their kids.

[Muzz]

Originally Posted by mailman

Everyone's situation is different. I applaud you for doing what you are. I've seen situations where one parent leaves. Now the other one has to get a job. Kids go to day care or have sitter come over after school. That's necessity. A member above states their parents need help. A nanny can discipline a child so it isn't like the kids alone running the streets. That's wonderful he helps them out. I'd do whatever I could for mine also before letting someone else take care of them. As far as stay at home parents go, sometimes they need a break too. Even if it's for one afternoon a month. Trust me it helps with their patience and well being. If someone wants a full time nanny that's their business not mine. You can't tell people how to raise their kids.

Awesome Brother!! I definitely admire your dedication and family strength!

My Wife runs the household and cooks everything from scratch to ensure the kids diets are clean without additives or preservatives. This has proven to be time consuming.

Our elderly Mother requires baths and this is also done by my Wife to ensure she maintains her dignity.

Our Au Pairs do not raise the kids, they help during times of need.

I work all over the globe and really felt that in order for my Wife to provide the level of care for the kids she wanted we would need help.

It should also be noted that even with the help in the house she has never left the house to even go for a coffee with friends. We maintain the level of dedication one would expect from responsible parents.

As we do not live in the US, we cannot take for granted food sources and medications (immunizations) so it takes time to source suppliers and manufacturers that we are comfortable with.

I never thought I would ever have to explain or justify why someone would need an Au Pair on a Rolex forum considering it is well known we all have different terms of employment.

I hope you had an amazing weekend and everything is absolutely perfect!!

[mailman]

Originally Posted by Muzz

Awesome Brother!! I definitely admire your dedication and family strength!

My Wife runs the household and cooks everything from scratch to ensure the kids diets are clean without additives or preservatives. This has proven to be time consuming.

Our elderly Mother requires baths and this is also done by my Wife to ensure she maintains her dignity.

Our Au Pairs do not raise the kids, they help during times of need.

I work all over the globe and really felt that in order for my Wife to provide the level of care for the kids she wanted we would need help.

It should also be noted that even with the help in the house she has never left the house to even go for a coffee with friends. We maintain the level of dedication one would expect from responsible parents.

As we do not live in the US, we cannot take for granted food sources and medications (immunizations) so it takes time to source suppliers and manufacturers that we are comfortable with.

I never thought I would ever have to explain or justify why someone would need an Au Pair on a Rolex forum considering it is well known we all have different terms of employment.

I hope you had an amazing weekend and everything is absolutely perfect!!

Thanks Steve my man. I appreciate it It cant be easy for you guys either. There's times in life we all need help so do what we have to. Even if it's just to go the bank, cleaners, grocery store or Dr appointment. Keep doing what your doing.

[Muzz]

Originally Posted by mailman

Thanks Steve my man. I appreciate it It cant be easy for you guys either. There's times in life we all need help so do what we have to. Even if it's just to go the bank, cleaners, grocery store or Dr appointment. Keep doing what your doing.

we try our best because we love our families and put their needs always first.

I hope you had an absolutely sensational weekend with your wonderful family!

Biggest joy in life has never been an incoming other than a child

Thank you so very much my friend

[mailman]

Originally Posted by Muzz

we try our best because we love our families and put their needs always first.

I hope you had an absolutely sensational weekend with your wonderful family!

Biggest joy in life has never been an incoming other than a child

Thank you so very much my friend

Had a great weekend thanks Steve and I hope you and your family did as well I agree, no better incoming at all. If I have a bad day it all gets better when I walk in the door

Happy Monday everyone. Hope you all have a great week

[jmiicustomz]

Originally Posted by handsfull

Adults? Maybe. Not working out so well for the kids though. :(

The problem is, it doesn't work. Others (like the example above) believe it's 'working'....and the truth is....your just fooling yourself. Children need their parents raising them, not substitutes. If you can't raise your own children, simply don't have any. Not complicated whatsoever.

Growing up I prayed daily to be sent off to boarding school like my father and grandfather had been. My father was an abusive drug and alcohol addict. My mother had to go back to school for another degree to get a raise to be able to support us so she was never home. My mother's friends and boyfriends took me to my practices and games. I went to state and nationals for extracurricular activities but can only recall one game that either of my parents attended and it was a home game at the school where my mother taught. You see, while my mother loved and still loves both my younger sister and I, she had to be able to provide and she didn't know any other way. My father was very vocal that he didn't want either of us as children will ruin your buzz. My father's mother was willing to pay for the boarding school and I do believe that I would have been better off that way. The problem was that my mother wanted her kids in her house and she needed me to make dinner for and help tend to my younger sister. So you can pass all the judgement you like and I won't argue that some people don't need kids, but if the kids are here and the parents are not into the day day of raising them, too busy, ill equipped, know nothing different, etc. Then why not hire someone who is interested.

To know the future is to be trapped by it

[Andad]

A brave post John.

[jmiicustomz]

Besides who wouldn't want Mary Poppins in the house?!

To know the future is to be trapped by it

[jmiicustomz]

Originally Posted by Muzz

I never thought I would ever have to explain or justify why someone would need an Au Pair on a Rolex forum considering it is well known we all have different terms of employment.

I don't think you need to justify yourself to ANYONE let alone anyone here. Let the haters hate and you keep doing what you do!

To know the future is to be trapped by it

[jmiicustomz]

Mailman, I applaud you. I used to help my best friend take care of his special needs older brother and my mother was never home while she went back to get her masters in special education. I used to teach special ed classes myself. You have a tough Rd but you don't seem to let it weigh you down! That's awesome, keep up the good fight!

To know the future is to be trapped by it

[Muzz]

Originally Posted by jmiicustomz

I don't think you need to justify yourself to ANYONE let alone anyone here. Let the haters hate and you keep doing what you do!

To know the future is to be trapped by it

Thank you so very much John! You sir are a very inspirational man with clearly a heart of gold!

Very touching background you shared! I truly admire and respect that!

[jmiicustomz]

Originally Posted by Muzz

Thank you so very much John! You sir are a very inspirational man with clearly a heart of gold!

Very touching background you shared! I truly admire and respect that!

Thank you sir but I didn't choose it, I just lived it and did the best I could.

Keep up the good work!

To know the future is to be trapped by it

[Abdullah71601]

Originally Posted by jmiicustomz

Besides who wouldn't want Mary Poppins in the house?!

To know the future is to be trapped by it

Me! All that singing would drive me nuts.

[jmiicustomz]

Originally Posted by Abdullah71601

Me! All that singing would drive me nuts.

Dammit now I will be singing about a spoonful of sugar all day!

To know the future is to be trapped by it

[mailman]

Originally Posted by jmiicustomz

Mailman, I applaud you. I used to help my best friend take care of his special needs older brother and my mother was never home while she went back to get her masters in special education. I used to teach special ed classes myself. You have a tough Rd but you don't seem to let it weigh you down! That's awesome, keep up the good fight!

To know the future is to be trapped by it

Thank you John. I greatly appreciate it. We just do what we have to. No question about it no other way. In our case I truly believe our child is where she is developmentally because my wife is a stay at home mom. That's what works for us. Does it for everyone? Nope. Faith, family and friends all have helped even if it's with support.

You're an inspiration to a lot of people. You could have easily went the other way but didn't

[jmiicustomz]

Originally Posted by mailman

Thank you John. I greatly appreciate it. We just do what we have to. No question about it no other way. In our case I truly believe our child is where she is developmentally because my wife is a stay at home mom. That's what works for us. Does it for everyone? Nope. Faith, family and friends all have helped even if it's with support.

You're an inspiration to a lot of people. You could have easily went the other way but didn't

Thank you sir.

To know the future is to be trapped by it

[mailman]

Originally Posted by jmiicustomz

Thank you sir.

To know the future is to be trapped by it

[jmiicustomz]

Originally Posted by mailman

Thank you John. I greatly appreciate it. We just do what we have to. No question about it no other way. In our case I truly believe our child is where she is developmentally because my wife is a stay at home mom. That's what works for us. Does it for everyone? Nope. Faith, family and friends all have helped even if it's with support.

You're an inspiration to a lot of people. You could have easily went the other way but didn't

I do think you are the inspiration here.

To know the future is to be trapped by it

[mailman]

Originally Posted by jmiicustomz

I do think you are the inspiration here.

To know the future is to be trapped by it

Thank you. I'm just me doing what I do

[Chewbacca]

Bristol's threads require the Curb Your Enthusiasm jingle to be played when read.

[locutus49]

I would let the wife interview potential au pairs. She should choose, not you or you are asking for trouble.