ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

Launch Mini · 14 February 2006, 03:37 PM

A child stands in court before a judge. His parents are divorcing and the judge is asking him which parent he would like to live with. "Would you like to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! she beats me every night i dont want to live with her!". So the judge says "Ok, you can go live with your dad then." the child replies "No! he beats me every night as well! i dont want to live with him!" and the judge replies "Well if both your parents beat you then who do you want to live with?". The boy replies "The US Olympic Mens Hockey Team." The judge is puzzled. "why would you want to live with them?" he asks. The boy replies "Because they dont beat anyone!"

C.J. · 14 February 2006, 03:42 PM

JJ Irani · 14 February 2006, 04:40 PM

mailman · 14 February 2006, 08:07 PM

padi56 · 14 February 2006, 08:24 PM

Rockrolex · 15 February 2006, 12:16 AM

I don't see anything funny about that.

And all I have to say to you is

15 February 2006, 12:25 AM

I posted this before... but its still a classic:

A Canadian hockey fan, an American fan and a Swedish fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of alcohol. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them.

The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the alcohol, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Swede fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Swede fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The American fan was next up (he almost finished a half-can), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the American fan crying.

The Canadian fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You support the greatest team in the world, your country has the best and most loyal hockey fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thanks, your most Royal highness, eh" the Canadian replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.

And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks.

"Tie the American fan to my back so he can get his ass whooped again."

padi56 · 15 February 2006, 12:36 AM

Like that one John, BWTF is get his ass whooped, its bloody get his arse whooped

15 February 2006, 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by padi56

Like that one John, BWTF is get his ass whooped, its bloody get his arse whooped

Sorry Peter, we say ass and arse in Canada. We are multilingual.

padi56 · 15 February 2006, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atomic

Sorry Peter, we say ass and arse in Canada. We are multilingual.

Well that sure beats being American John.

ralphieralph · 15 February 2006, 02:29 AM

Goodwatch · 15 February 2006, 02:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockrolex

I don't see anything funny about that.

And all I have to say to you is

Ban 'em all Ed, you have the power

JJ Irani · 15 February 2006, 03:26 AM

Good one, Johnny!!

Launch Mini · 15 February 2006, 03:31 AM

A fact about the US Mens hockey.
The US Junior team that did not do very well ( not rubbing it in at all) in the 2005 World Junior Tourney, was, on average 1/2 inch taller than the Olympic team.
What's with that, sending abunch of small players to the Olympics..

15 February 2006, 04:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Launch Mini

A fact about the US Mens hockey.
The US Junior team that did not do very well ( not rubbing it in at all) in the 2005 World Junior Tourney, was, on average 1/2 inch taller than the Olympic team.
What's with that, sending abunch of small players to the Olympics..

John, have you been in their dressing room lately.

14 February 2006, 03:37 PM	#1
Launch Mini "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Real Name: John Location: Canada, eh Watch: can I? Posts: 6,241	US Mens Hockey A child stands in court before a judge. His parents are divorcing and the judge is asking him which parent he would like to live with. "Would you like to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! she beats me every night i dont want to live with her!". So the judge says "Ok, you can go live with your dad then." the child replies "No! he beats me every night as well! i dont want to live with him!" and the judge replies "Well if both your parents beat you then who do you want to live with?". The boy replies "The US Olympic Mens Hockey Team." The judge is puzzled. "why would you want to live with them?" he asks. The boy replies "Because they dont beat anyone!" __________________ Something witty to go here. Member # 293

14 February 2006, 03:42 PM	#2
C.J. "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: * Posts: 10,196	__________________ Me? I'm still looking for Kokomo. I just hope that damn golfer isn't there

14 February 2006, 04:40 PM	#3
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,320	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

14 February 2006, 08:07 PM	#4
mailman TRF Moderator & DATE-JUST41 2024 Patron Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: . Watch: 126610LN Posts: 35,368	__________________ JJ

14 February 2006, 08:24 PM	#5
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,305	__________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

15 February 2006, 12:16 AM	#6
Rockrolex TRF Moderator & 2024 DATE-JUST41 Patron Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: God Location: Washington, D.C. Watch: What do you think? Posts: 37,514	I don't see anything funny about that. And all I have to say to you is __________________ Despite the high cost of living, it's still very popular. *Tosser Cabinet Member* Official Member: 'Perpetual 30' Vegas International GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2018 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2019

15 February 2006, 12:25 AM	#7
Atomic Guest Posts: n/a	I posted this before... but its still a classic: A Canadian hockey fan, an American fan and a Swedish fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of alcohol. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the alcohol, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The Swede fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Swede fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done. The American fan was next up (he almost finished a half-can), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the American fan crying. The Canadian fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You support the greatest team in the world, your country has the best and most loyal hockey fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thanks, your most Royal highness, eh" the Canadian replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks. "Tie the American fan to my back so he can get his ass whooped again."

15 February 2006, 12:36 AM	#8
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,305	Like that one John, BWTF is get his ass whooped, its bloody get his arse whooped __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

15 February 2006, 02:29 AM	#11
ralphieralph "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Real Name: Ahh..."LEROY" Location: connecticut Watch: SUBMARINER Posts: 681

15 February 2006, 03:26 AM	#13
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,320	Good one, Johnny!! __________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

15 February 2006, 03:31 AM	#14
Launch Mini "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Real Name: John Location: Canada, eh Watch: can I? Posts: 6,241	A fact about the US Mens hockey. The US Junior team that did not do very well ( not rubbing it in at all) in the 2005 World Junior Tourney, was, on average 1/2 inch taller than the Olympic team. What's with that, sending abunch of small players to the Olympics.. __________________ Something witty to go here. Member # 293

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)