‪You Are Not Special‬!!

[akiruno]

Controversy surrounding a speech by Guest speaker, David McCullough, telling Wellesley High School's graduating class of 2012 they are not special. I agree with him…A dose of reality.

- All of this is as it should be, because none of you is special.

- You are not special. You are not exceptional.

- Contrary to what your your soccer trophy suggests, your glowing seventh grade report card, despite every assurance of a certain corpulent purple dinosaur, that nice Mister Rogers and your batty Aunt Sylvia, no matter how often your maternal caped crusader has swooped in to save you... you’re nothing special.

- But do not get the idea you’re anything special. Because you’re not.

- You see, if everyone is special, then no one is. If everyone gets a trophy, trophies become meaningless.

Full speech here: David McCullough Jr.’s commencement address: You’re Not Special - BostonHerald.com

[Andad]

By his own admission he sought to reduce all the students expectations for future success.

I nice negative way for them to kick off a career.

This guy is just a negative plank IMO.

But what would I know...I'm at 30% as I type.

Most kids at school get back what they put in. The ones who have the trophies and the certificates are the ones who likely put in most of the effort.
This is just how it is in the real world.

[Cru Jones]

can't pull up the video, so, couldn't follow the text, but, i don't think McCullough gets it. HS graduation isn't a celebration of "specialness" and "whoopie we're all great b/c we all have a diploma", it's just a celebration of an accomplishment and the marking of a passage from one phase of life to the next. it IS something to be proud of, unlike, say, youth soccer matches where each and every player gets a medal.

[lavaman]

no, they need to hear that. and soon. it's a way of taking their fate into their hands rather than asking mommy and daddy to handle it for them

the smart ones will say "yea, he's right. so i better expect nothing and make my own luck".

the others will say he's full of it. and then wonder why things didnt go their way.

[BarkMaster]

I agree with his sentiment and vote "Yes", but think that perhaps a different venue or method for distribution of the message would be more appropriate.

[chicfarmer1]

It follows a pretty explicit political point of view, and since we don't discuss politics here, I will sidestep that for now and not elaborate. I will say that it's a fundamentally strange message for young people.

On the face of it, it's supposed to counteract a perceived idea of the handout society (and that is definitely aligned with a certain politics). But why this fails is simply that he addressed an age group that is in the process of becoming, not so much about what they "are" now. As an address speaker, he missed the opportunity to frame his talk in terms of "Become someone special," or "emulate those who are special," or "do something special."

The kids deserved better.

[Cru Jones]

Originally Posted by chicfarmer1

It follows a pretty explicit political point of view, and since we don't discuss politics here, I will sidestep that for now and not elaborate. I will say that it's a fundamentally strange message for young people.

On the face of it, it's supposed to counteract a perceived idea of the handout society (and that is definitely aligned with a certain politics). But why this fails is simply that he addressed an age group that is in the process of becoming, not so much about what they "are" now. As an address speaker, he missed the opportunity to frame his talk in terms of "Become someone special," or "emulate those who are special," or "do something special."

The kids deserved better.

you couldn't be more right, IMO.

of course, then, he wouldn't have caused a stir and gotten his name talked about, so, i guess he just wanted to feel special about himself.

[BarkMaster]

Originally Posted by chicfarmer1

But why this fails is simply that he addressed an age group that is in the process of becoming, not so much about what they "are" now. As an address speaker, he missed the opportunity to frame his talk in terms of "Become someone special," or "emulate those who are special," or "do something special."

The kids deserved better.

This

[Dan2010]

Originally Posted by chicfarmer1

It follows a pretty explicit political point of view, and since we don't discuss politics here, I will sidestep that for now and not elaborate. I will say that it's a fundamentally strange message for young people.

On the face of it, it's supposed to counteract a perceived idea of the handout society (and that is definitely aligned with a certain politics). But why this fails is simply that he addressed an age group that is in the process of becoming, not so much about what they "are" now. As an address speaker, he missed the opportunity to frame his talk in terms of "Become someone special," or "emulate those who are special," or "do something special."

The kids deserved better.

I happen to agree with his message in general but I agree with you, totally wrong venue.

[kamaran]

I disagree with most posts (did you even listen to it? or just comment). He left the stage to rapturous applause.

The following quote captures my sentiments:

Originally Posted by lavaman

no, they need to hear that. and soon. it's a way of taking their fate into their hands rather than asking mommy and daddy to handle it for them

the smart ones will say "yea, he's right. so i better expect nothing and make my own luck".

the others will say he's full of it. and then wonder why things didnt go their way.

[looking to buy]

This year the commencement speaker at my daughter's college graduation told them all that they needed to be willing to "Settle" in life. She basically discouraged them from reaching for the stars and following their dreams. The speaker is a very wealthy woman who followed her dream and assisted in starting a well known Silicon Valley Tech company. My son, made the comment that she was just tying to get people to settle for the miserable jobs her company was offering. She wanted more drones for the factories.

I found his take interesting. If we educate everyone that they are not special and need to settle, then we have great factory drones. If we educate them that all people have something special within them and if they can find that and get in touch with it, then they can have a life of fulfillment and meaning.

I suppose the problem is that if all humans looked for lives of fulfillment and meaning, then it would be difficult for the wheels of commerce to grind forward in the same way that they do today.

[conrail]

Love what he said and am so glad someone finally said it and that it has become viral.

I graduated from WHS a while back and attended a few graduation speeches since and they've all been the same "you ARE special" nonsense. My god, not only did those kids need to hear it, but the helicopter parents as well, who have coddled them since the day they were born with their touchy-feely everyone is special, everyone is a winner nonsense. I think the little leaguers are all given medals even for coming in last place. They don't know how to lose, and when they leave the comforts of home and school and enter the real world - guess what - people lose!

But above all, his speech was like the one he gave a few years back, where he encouraged the students to "carpe the heck out of every diem" - meaning, you are not special just because someone told you that you are; go out and live a special, meaningful life, then you are truly special.

Love LZ's inclusion of the Rudyard Kipling "If" poem as well.

[GoldenBear]

I think the guy was spot on. These past generations have way too much self-esteem and over-confidence and a feeling that they are entitled to success and riches. When everyone gets a trophy, it lessens the value of it. Now we have these groups like the 'occupy' people think that they are owed a career, money or success just for showing up. Mommy and daddy kept telling them how wonderful and special they are. Meanwhile, the kids that studied hard, sacrificed, went to school put in all of the extra time, energy and effort to excel are successful. It was time for someone to point out that we live in a meritocracy and good things come to those that work for them and not everyone gets handed a 6-figure job and stock options when they get their GED.

[bayerische]

I agree with him, excellent speech.

They are old enough to face the truth.

[QueueCumber]

I voted "other" because I think that the initial post and poll places the orator's statements completely out of context. I can't vote "yes" or "no" for something that is misrepresented. Myopically zeroing in on the words "you are not special" out of context causes one to completely miss the gestalt of the speech...

That being said, that was quite an eloquent and erudite speech.

[rolexgiants]

I thought it was a great speech!!!! I love the press that it's getting too!!!! I only hope that everyone who is 18 years of age is listening!!!!!

[conrail]

Originally Posted by chicfarmer1

It follows a pretty explicit political point of view, and since we don't discuss politics here, I will sidestep that for now and not elaborate. I will say that it's a fundamentally strange message for young people.

On the face of it, it's supposed to counteract a perceived idea of the handout society (and that is definitely aligned with a certain politics). But why this fails is simply that he addressed an age group that is in the process of becoming, not so much about what they "are" now. As an address speaker, he missed the opportunity to frame his talk in terms of "Become someone special," or "emulate those who are special," or "do something special."

The kids deserved better.

He actually did state this quite explicitly at the end of the speech, if you read it.

http://www.theswellesleyreport.com/2...e-not-special/

Starting towards the end with: "The fulfilling life, the distinctive life, the relevant life, is an achievement, not something that will fall into your lap because you’re a nice person or mommy ordered it from the caterer."

"Don’t wait for inspiration or passion to find you. Get up, get out, explore, find it yourself, and grab hold with both hands."

==> Go out and become special, because you are not special just because someone says you are.

[mbuckley]

Dealing with young people is diffcult now---all through school thay are told how wonderful they are and then when they get to a university and are unable to do the work they believe their specialness is all that matters . The speech was spot on and I give a similar lecture to my studnets at the beginning of each semester. At work one of the biggest problems is the inflation of expectations---results in unpleasant orgnaizational outcomes----high turnover, low satisfaction and committment.....not good things. The message is a good one---develop realistic expectations based on the skills you possess.

[conrail]

What is really amazing is that his speech is honest and simple - and yet it has gone so viral. It is as though such words have literally not been uttered to a high school graduation class in recorded history. So refreshing and empowering. Go out and grab life by the horns, take it, and live it to the fullest! Not sure why you'd want to do otherwise, because after all, you only have one life to live!

[chicfarmer1]

Originally Posted by conrail

He actually did state this quite explicitly at the end of the speech, if you read it.

I watched much of it, not all. If that's his ending, gosh you have to wait for it, don't you?

I think this line of talk gets applause from those who also bemoan the alleged breakdown of the traditional family and the absence of parental involvement. Are the elders both missing in action and overpraising?

[cleanfreak]

speech was something special.....I'll get my coat.

[conrail]

Originally Posted by chicfarmer1

I watched much of it, not all. If that's his ending, gosh you have to wait for it, don't you?

I think this line of talk gets applause from those who also bemoan the alleged breakdown of the traditional family and the absence of parental involvement. Are the elders both missing in action and overpraising?

That's how you give a good speech - you don't come out with your uplifting, applause-rendering conclusion up front ;-) Get their attention by "shocking" them first. 'Cause my goodness, these are mostly pretty boring.

Most of the new generation of yuppies in Wellesley and Mass. generally don't fit the bill of bemoaning the breakdown of the traditional family, but the helicopter parents I see "in action" certainly coddle the hell outa their kids. LZ makes a great point in his commentary that, sure, the kid is special to the family members, but guess what, life doesn't view the kid as special, and won't bestow "special" upon the kid. It is for the kid to go out and live life to the fullest to experience true "special."

[freeagent]

Everyone is special in their own way..

But if you were issued a social insurance number, then you are just one of the sheep

[figbo]

It is your first achevement in life,not everyone graduates from high school.

[Widows Son]

Don't worry too much about hurting the kiddies feelings, they were probably half asleep anyway and texting their friends during the speech.

[Welshwatchman]

While I'm not bothered enough to watch the video I wonder if he stated it as a fact or just a strong possibility?

Should be the latter not the former. There is the slightest chance that there may be a Paul Dirac or a Zuckerfacebook sort in the crowd.


....and I assume that he was savvy enough to include himself in the nobody's special routine.

[theloxmyth]

Originally Posted by Widows Son

Don't worry too much about hurting the kiddies feelings, they were probably half asleep anyway and texting their friends during the speech.

Keeping in the same vein as the OP, I remember visiting Kent State University with my #1 son and the Dean of Architecture telling the group of us that the world really doesn't NEED any more architects and WHY are you here?!

I went up to him, afterwards, and told him he ought not to steal the kids' dreams.

Finding out now that he may be correct!

#1 is going (has to go) to grad school to continue his education so HE CAN pursue his dream.

"Dream big."

[therolexguy]

Get him and Bill Cosby to tell the truth. I probably wouldn't have liked it on my graduation day but as an adult (20 years later) I think these types of speeches are needed.

[GradyPhilpott]

Originally Posted by directioneng

The ones who have the trophies and the certificates are the ones who likely put in most of the effort.

You haven't been paying attention.

Schools have been giving trophies and certificates to everyone who shows up for quite some time.

Maybe not every school, but that has been the trend, as well as convincing every kid that he's special.

There is a sense in which we are all special, but not in the sense that we all deserve special consideration.

When I was a Social Worker for the State of New Mexico, the new regional manager held a required meeting of all the staff in the region, which in our case was Bernalillo County.

I couldn't believe that I had to sit through a vapid speech by some nitwit who thought she was funny while I had a backlog of work at my office and in the field, but when that was over, every individual in the county had to walk to the front of the auditorium when his name was called to receive a certificate for something that escapes me now.

It escapes me because I threw it in the trash on my way out of the building.

It's morons like our regional manager at the time who are behind this idiocy and it needs to stop.

[conrail]

Originally Posted by GradyPhilpott

You haven't been paying attention.

Schools have been giving trophies and certificates to everyone who shows up for quite some time.

Maybe not every school, but that has been the trend, as well as convincing every kid that he's special.

There is a sense in which we are all special, but not in the sense that we all deserve special consideration.

When I was a Social Worker for the State of New Mexico, the new regional manager held a required meeting of all the staff in the region, which in our case was Bernalillo County.

I couldn't believe that I had to sit through a vapid speech by some nitwit who thought she was funny while I had a backlog of work at my office and in the field, but when that was over, every individual in the county had to walk to the front of the auditorium when his name was called to receive a certificate for something that escapes me now.

It escapes me because I threw it in the trash on my way out of the building.

It's morons like our regional manager at the time who are behind this idiocy and it needs to stop.

Boo to those stupid certificates they give to everyone just for showing up! Trash is a good place for those fake things.