Wedding Budget

[Initial_J]

I just got engaged and we are starting to look at venues. I knew weddings were expensive and had mentally prepared myself for the price creep of a wedding, but some of the prices I'm seeing are still giving me a little bit of sticker shock.

The statistics that are out there for average cost of a wedding don't seem indicative of the total price in a high cost area for a large wedding. So I figured I would turn to the forum full of individuals with refined tastes: How much should I budget for a wedding?

We are expecting 200-250 guests (could try to limit to 200)
Location will be in California (likely Southern California), preferably close to the water

[denmanproject]

We budgeted 40k (100 guests) and ended up closer to 60 lol hard not to get carried away

One tip is to not get done the planning too early, then she just has time to think of more things to add lol

It was all worth it though, best day of my life!

[dimag333]

I film weddings for a living in New Jersey, out average wedding is about 80k all in; feel free to pm me

steve

[Aquaholic_user]

Dont even bother most become a divorce anyway save your time and money.

SM-N960U

[Drdubzz]

the smaller the better. make it family and a few closest friends. Something intimate and meaningful. Save the grand gestures for anniversaries and the like.

[dimag333]

Originally Posted by Initial_J

I just got engaged and we are starting to look at venues. I knew weddings were expensive and had mentally prepared myself for the price creep of a wedding, but some of the prices I'm seeing are still giving me a little bit of sticker shock.

The statistics that are out there for average cost of a wedding don't seem indicative of the total price in a high cost area for a large wedding. So I figured I would turn to the forum full of individuals with refined tastes: How much should I budget for a wedding?

We are expecting 200-250 guests (could try to limit to 200)
Location will be in California (likely Southern California), preferably close to the water

Oh I didn’t see refined taste-your looking at 200k in New Jersey for what I would consider mid high end

here is how some pricing could shake out here on East coast

Photo 12k
Video 5k
450 a head plate
10 entertainment- double or triple for good band
2k transport
15k florals

That’s 150 right there

steve

[Watchflair]

You could try a destination wedding to cut down on the expense - that'll limit who will come.

They get expensive really quick - entertainment whether it be live music or a DJ, venue rental, lighting, photography, transportation if needed, flowers, center pieces, cocktails, food, etc.

We had approximately 100 people in south Florida - Fort Lauderdale and I believe it cost about $125K. Oh and that was a destination as well - almost everyone invited that we thought would come actually came.

[jaisonline]

yeah, once you ask for a quote and mention, "wedding", prices increase drastically. sad but it is the world we live in.

no one can really give you a dollar amount for your wedding. far too many variables like day, date, time, food quality, dj vs.band, flowers, ceremony location, rehearsal dinner, dinner, reception location, etc.... just shop around but remember quality and dependability are important.

my two cents:
spend as little as possible as long as the wife is in agreement. don't let people (in-laws) influence too much. Any wedding savings is better used for a house, college funds, etc...

avoiding arguments is also a most. pick your battles.

at the end of the day, a $ goal was to cover as much of the per plate cost. however, the true goal was making my bride happy and enjoy the day as much as possible w/ loved ones (especially older people). I've been married only 14 years ago and many people who attended have passed.

in closing, weddings are really remembered for 2 things. 1) the quality of food and 2) if anything crazy happens.

Originally Posted by Initial_J

I just got engaged and we are starting to look at venues. I knew weddings were expensive and had mentally prepared myself for the price creep of a wedding, but some of the prices I'm seeing are still giving me a little bit of sticker shock.

The statistics that are out there for average cost of a wedding don't seem indicative of the total price in a high cost area for a large wedding. So I figured I would turn to the forum full of individuals with refined tastes: How much should I budget for a wedding?

We are expecting 200-250 guests (could try to limit to 200)
Location will be in California (likely Southern California), preferably close to the water

[jaisonline]

Originally Posted by Drdubzz

the smaller the better. make it family and a few closest friends. Something intimate and meaningful. Save the grand gestures for anniversaries and the like.

GREAT advice. this approach also gives you more time w/ loved ones and saves some coin. just hope the bride-to-be and the monsters-in-laws are "OK" w/ this.

[Blansky]

Wedding are a fun,...or not, piece of theater generally for the parents. I photographed around 500 of them, and less than half the people stayed married according to statistics.

In recent years they have become a bit of a racket with bridal faire, bridal consultants, massive amounts spent on all the food, booze, unwearable clothes ever again, music, venues etc etc etc. The only thing left after the wedding is actually the photography/videography so if weddings are your thing, don't scrimp on those.

The most fun wedding I ever did were small ones with people that had been married once before. They were present and conscious for the whole thing and were generally in their thirties or forties.

Most brides and grooms barely remember the wedding day after it's over because it's a massive dose of do this, do that.

But I would always tell people, keep it really small or elope and spend the massive amounts of money on down payments on houses or on a magical honeymoon somewhere.

Congratulations, but unless you have a large amount of money to throw around, I'd keep it very small, and/or use the money for a great trip or a down payment etc.

[dimag333]

Other tip; book a Sunday to save on plate; open golf clubs that’s do at least 200 weddings a year are great for budget minded and usually good food, if you think your gonna save by doin a tent wedding your not and it’s gonna be stressful. I have filmed close to 500 weddings in the past 5 years; feel free to reach out and I can give you some real world tips on making sure you have the best experience for your families and guest

steve

[DonRickles]

How wealthy is your soon to be FIL?

[Knappo 1307]

Destination, and save the rest of the money you would have blown on a down payment for a house or investments.

[Initial_J]

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

A few things which unfortunately are non-negotiable (and increase cost) are:
- Must be Saturday wedding (my choice and she agrees)
- Can't do destination wedding (her choice, want to make it easy on elderly family members to attend)
- Don't have a lot of flexibility to limit headcount. 180 would be the absolute low end and likely going to be 200+. We are both only children and parents will want to invite a certain number of family and friends. We also both are the types who have several different friend groups. I for example expect no fewer than 20 people at my bachelor party and likely closer to 30. She's having trouble keeping her bridal party in the single digits.

[Knappo 1307]

Originally Posted by Initial_J

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

A few things which unfortunately are non-negotiable (and increase cost) are:
- Must be Saturday wedding (my choice and she agrees)
- Can't do destination wedding (her choice, want to make it easy on elderly family members to attend)
- Don't have a lot of flexibility to limit headcount. 180 would be the absolute low end and likely going to be 200+. We are both only children and parents will want to invite a certain number of family and friends. We also both are the types who have several different friend groups. I for example expect no fewer than 20 people at my bachelor party and likely closer to 30. She's having trouble keeping her bridal party in the single digits.

$$$$$$ Best of luck. Have a great day and wonderful life together.

[dimag333]

Originally Posted by Initial_J

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

A few things which unfortunately are non-negotiable (and increase cost) are:
- Must be Saturday wedding (my choice and she agrees)
- Can't do destination wedding (her choice, want to make it easy on elderly family members to attend)
- Don't have a lot of flexibility to limit headcount. 180 would be the absolute low end and likely going to be 200+. We are both only children and parents will want to invite a certain number of family and friends. We also both are the types who have several different friend groups. I for example expect no fewer than 20 people at my bachelor party and likely closer to 30. She's having trouble keeping her bridal party in the single digits.

text me 862 221 five seven one six or feel free to have her reach out with the venues and what not shes looking at, people make it more complicated than it needs to be, I know many professionals that might come and shoot for free if you provide hotel and airfare, there is sub culture most arent aware of

she has a good head on her shoulders regarding the destination thing, I am here to help

steve

[Partagas]

It's crazy how expensive weddings have become. Think my first wedding in '96 was like $10k at a resort in FL. Second one in '04 in center city Philly was $25k+. I can only imagine how bad it is now!

[Brenngun]

Man how things have changed. Been married 42 years. 350 guests, reception at local Hilton hotel, diner was (steak, lobster tails, chicken, wine and champagne), open bar all top shelf liquor, 8 piece orchestra, 2 nights in bridal suite. All in for $8 grand.

Seemed expensive back then but nothing like it is today. If I was facing the kind of expense you are I'd definitely look at less expensive alternatives. Destination, smaller size ….. etc. Good Luck and hope your marriage lasts forever.

[dimag333]

Originally Posted by Partagas

It's crazy how expensive weddings have become. Think my first wedding in '96 was like $10k at a resort in FL. Second one in '04 in center city Philly was $25k+. I can only imagine how bad it is now!

a venue I work at a ton, about $500 a head 225 min has a plane fly in every sunday morning from china (I swear) for brunch weddings. Every single weekend, not sure how corona has effected that.

they do 6 weddings a weekend, big biz man

I charge more to film a wedding than mine cost 13 years ago!

steve

[Hulkhunter]

Jeez...

Some of the prices being thrown around on this thread are crazy. $200k for a wedding?!

Unless things are completely different in the US you can do it much cheaper in the UK. You could have a decent wedding for 100+ people for £15k ($20k) over here.

$12k for a photographer, $5k to video a wedding, $450 a plate?

Maybe a celebrity wedding but that seems very steep for your average wedding.

No wonder you are buying Rolex watches if you are filming on those rates!

[dimag333]

I’m not even expensive I just work a lot

steve

[tritium8]

It's been said a lot already but I'll say it again - Pictures are what matters (of the paid things, assuming she isn't mail order bride). I'd suggest finding a photographer and doing a session with them before the wedding. That way you can provide feedback and help them know what you like and don't like. Congrats and remember these two words "yes, ma'am!".

[Hulkhunter]

Just hit Vegas for a drive through wedding and spend the money you saved on a Patek.

[mbalmz]

I got married a few months ago so just went through this...

there's really no way to tell you how much to budget based only on the region and the headcount. there are lots of factors that can swing cost enormously and it depends on which you do/don't prioritize.

music can be a 12 piece band or a 5 piece band or a DJ or an ipod.

a photographer can be a friend with some good camera equipment or a prominent wedding photographer with a big team.

booze can be 8 hours of open bar with a lot of variety or can be a cash bar that you don't pay for.

food can be pre-prepared bbq from a reasonably priced caterer or can be done on-site by a top shelf restaurant.

and on and on and everything in between.

you really need to figure out what kind of wedding you want and what types of things you want to prioritize before you can really drill down on budget.

I'd had the benefit of attending lots of weddings with wildly wide-ranging budgets in the couple of years leading up to my own and that definitely helps zero in on what's important to you; if you've been to other weddings recently I'd think through what you did and didn't like and see if you can get some info on the types of vendors they used and the budgets.

[RHIII]

Figure out what is most important to you and your bride to be and focus the spending on that. Make reasonable concessions on the other aspects.

We had roughly 200 guests.

My wife and I spent the most on food/Bev (menus/ excluding cakes, which can be a complete joke) and photography.

People still talk about the food...and we’ve been married for 12 years.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Krieger1976]

Enjoy the special day that's all that matters

[blassy]

My wife planned ours for a week before she told me....can we just go away and get married? Ate all the deposits, booked 30 people for Cabo and still saved a ton in my estimation.
Like others have said - decide what's important to you and her and work from there. If you're both only children, perhaps you're getting help from your respective parents which should help.
Photography was the only thing that I was shocked at. So expensive and I still don't think I've looked at those pics...and that was 11 years ago.
Best of luck.

[jaisonline]

Same here. People still talk our food. One area we didn't go cheap was w/ food. That was my only demand in the entire process. lamp chops, 1 hour jumbo shrimp cocktail hour, lobster, etc... I've only been to 1 wedding since that had comparable food and it ended up being the same wedding caterer.

Originally Posted by RHIII

Figure out what is most important to you and your bride to be and focus the spending on that. Make reasonable concessions on the other aspects.

We had roughly 200 guests.

People still talk about the food...and we’ve been married for 12 years.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[singe89]

So many things add up even over the cost of the venue (food quality, booze and time of the open bar, band, photography, cake, gifts for bridesmaids and groomsmen, room staging, lighting, flowers, etc.). I was paying the full bill (thanks Mr. Father-in-law) so I wanted 30 close friends and family at our place in Cabo but my wife wanted 200 people overlooking the water in Newport. Happy wife happy life

I think I blacked out the total cost but even my wife admits to this day it was way too much money and the two of us were so busy greeting people, taking pictures and doing the typical wedding craziness and it was so fast paced that we didn't get to truly enjoy it as much as we should have. Our friends still say it was one of the most fun weddings they have been to but the wife and I agree we would have gotten a lot more enjoyment out of a smaller wedding and been able to save tons of $$$.

[singe89]

Originally Posted by jaisonline

Same here. People still talk our food. One area we didn't go cheap was w/ food. That was my only demand in the entire process. lamp chops, 1 hour jumbo shrimp cocktail hour, lobster, etc... I've only been to 1 wedding since that had comparable food and it ended up being the same wedding caterer.

Agree 100% Food, great booze and music is much more important than flowers, lighting, table cloths/chairs, etc. I decided to do big screen tvs by the outdoor bars in our reception area because it was march madness and I didn't want the guests to have to leave to check scores/watch games.