The Rolex Forums   The Rolex Watch

ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX


Go Back   Rolex Forums - Rolex Watch Forum > General Topics > Jokes & Cartoons

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 15 January 2020, 10:53 PM   #61
Nadi090
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: The States
Watch: OysterPerpetual 39
Posts: 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swiss Mad! View Post
When I married my wife I knew she was ‘Miss right’.....

What I didn’t realise was her middle name was ‘Always’....


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Lol....Happily ever after

Sent from my SM-A105F using Tapatalk
Nadi090 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15 January 2020, 11:13 PM   #62
AzPaul
2020 Pledge Member
 
AzPaul's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Real Name: Paul
Location: Tucson, Az
Watch: Rolex 1501
Posts: 9,401
My therapist told me I have a problem with vengeance.

We'll see about that.
__________________
Five year plans and new deals, wrapped in golden chains
Then I wondered, still I wonder, who'll stop the rain
AzPaul is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 15 January 2020, 11:15 PM   #63
BDL
2020 HARRODS SGE Pledge Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: @ticks_and_sticks
Posts: 650
Why do thrill seekers like to go camping?







It's In Tents
BDL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18 January 2020, 11:28 PM   #64
AzPaul
2020 Pledge Member
 
AzPaul's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Real Name: Paul
Location: Tucson, Az
Watch: Rolex 1501
Posts: 9,401
What did Kermit say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing
__________________
Five year plans and new deals, wrapped in golden chains
Then I wondered, still I wonder, who'll stop the rain
AzPaul is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 19 January 2020, 07:11 PM   #65
Jammart
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Dallas
Posts: 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by AzPaul View Post
My therapist told me I have a problem with vengeance.

We'll see about that.

Vengeance on the therapist
Jammart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22 January 2020, 06:44 AM   #66
Speedbird-1
"TRF" Member
 
Speedbird-1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 3,206
Barbie has never had children.......
..........................................'Cause Ken comes (sic) in a seperate box.
Speedbird-1 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 28 February 2020, 04:36 AM   #67
ghcpa9
"TRF" Member
 
ghcpa9's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Long Island
Watch: Rolex DSSD
Posts: 26
A guy ran up to me shouting "I'm a Teepee! I'm a Wigwam! I'm a Teepee! I'm a Wigwam! "

I said "Relax, man! You're too tense."
__________________

Rolex Deepsea Sea Dweller
Omega Seamaster Chrono
ghcpa9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28 February 2020, 05:08 AM   #68
TimeLord2
"TRF" Member
 
TimeLord2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Valencia, CA
Watch: GMT Master 1675 TT
Posts: 776
Got my girlfriend some lingerie for Valentines day, and she said it doesn't really count because it's mainly for me. I said, not true, it was actually for my ex girlfriend.
TimeLord2 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 13 June 2020, 09:19 PM   #69
Spectre38
2020 Pledge Member
 
Spectre38's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2020
Real Name: Paul
Location: Out West
Posts: 554
Two cannibals were eating a comedian, one looks at the other and says...

Does this taste funny to you?
Spectre38 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14 June 2020, 02:13 AM   #70
AzPaul
2020 Pledge Member
 
AzPaul's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Real Name: Paul
Location: Tucson, Az
Watch: Rolex 1501
Posts: 9,401
Man walks up to the librarian and asks if they have any books on paranoia.

She whispers back, 'They're right behind you".
__________________
Five year plans and new deals, wrapped in golden chains
Then I wondered, still I wonder, who'll stop the rain
AzPaul is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 30 June 2020, 05:12 AM   #71
Speedbird-1
"TRF" Member
 
Speedbird-1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 3,206
I know now what DNA stands for...
National Dislexic Association.
Speedbird-1 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 30 June 2020, 12:57 PM   #72
Zuman
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: The Bush
Posts: 41
The bartender says "We don't serve your kind in here."
A tachyon walks into a bar.
Zuman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7 July 2020, 05:41 AM   #73
VRJ
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 11
What language do porcupines speak? Spine language.
VRJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7 July 2020, 05:43 AM   #74
VRJ
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 11
Here's a classic:
What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breath through that thing!
Clean right?
VRJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8 July 2020, 09:41 PM   #75
SFmedic13
"TRF" Member
 
SFmedic13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Real Name: SANTIAGO
Location: San Antonio Texas
Watch: Explorer Mark I
Posts: 494
Well some of these made me smile....so that was good!
SFmedic13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10 July 2020, 02:27 AM   #76
nyctoytimer
"TRF" Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: nyc
Watch: Tudor mini sub
Posts: 14
2 lines

Just got robbed by six dwarfs.

Not Happy.
nyctoytimer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10 July 2020, 01:47 PM   #77
Psmith
"TRF" Member
 
Psmith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Real Name: Clive
Location: Bartertown
Watch: out for drop bears
Posts: 37,905
I used to be dyslexic. But I'm KO now.
__________________
Psmith is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12 July 2020, 06:19 PM   #78
Speedbird-1
"TRF" Member
 
Speedbird-1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 3,206
Whad'ya call a man with a plank on his head? Edward.
Whad'ya call a man with three planks on his head? Edward Woodward.
Speedbird-1 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12 July 2020, 06:22 PM   #79
Speedbird-1
"TRF" Member
 
Speedbird-1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 3,206
What's brown, and sounds like a bell? Dung.
Speedbird-1 is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


*Banners Of The Month*
This space is provided to horological resources.





Copyright ©2004-2020, The Rolex Forums. All Rights Reserved.

ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

Rolex is a registered trademark of ROLEX USA. The Rolex Forums is not affiliated with ROLEX USA in any way.