Girls Coffeeshop Talk

[Carolina]

Originally Posted by Incurable

As a single person, I find myself ping-ponging between opinions regarding my position vs. partnership. Both have their aspects, positive and negative. Frankly, it's hard to find a lot of positive testimonials from those married it seems nowadays. Coming from the opposite side of the formula, I understand it's not all good but... alone has its problems too. In my quotes thread, one I can relate to is, "All that is not given, is lost...". I think that speaks to singledom pretty well. I spent years chasing things like career, possessions, learning, skills, etc. Without people around you (like family), all these things pretty much exist in a vacuum. They go nowhere. With nobody to share these things with, the value of these "achievements" are diminished. To provide is a great thing, but to provide for nobody but myself... not so important. I bored with it long ago. The best things in life are rooted in sharing. Alone, all things revolve around what I (or you) want. Once achieved, the reward is temporary at best. Doing things for others is far more rewarding.

Color me crazy but, despite the ups and downs, I think we are biologically wired for partnership. The "rewards" of living alone are largely manufactured and a poor substitute for the stuff that has existed since men and women first hooked up. A smile from the heart is priceless and worth way more than any bonus at work, etc. You just have to bank those and, when tough times happen, draw upon them to balance things out. Sorry for the novella, JHMO...

Wow - well said, Pat! Very insightful post! I think this one belongs in Mireyna's "Posts of Fame" thread...

[away36]

Gonna babysit one of my granddaughters today. Isn't she a sweet little thing?
(insert proud grandma look here)

[away36]

Originally Posted by Incurable

As a single person, I find myself ping-ponging between opinions regarding my position vs. partnership. Both have their aspects, positive and negative. Frankly, it's hard to find a lot of positive testimonials from those married it seems nowadays. Coming from the opposite side of the formula, I understand it's not all good but... alone has its problems too. In my quotes thread, one I can relate to is, "All that is not given, is lost...". I think that speaks to singledom pretty well. I spent years chasing things like career, possessions, learning, skills, etc. Without people around you (like family), all these things pretty much exist in a vacuum. They go nowhere. With nobody to share these things with, the value of these "achievements" are diminished. To provide is a great thing, but to provide for nobody but myself... not so important. I bored with it long ago. The best things in life are rooted in sharing. Alone, all things revolve around what I (or you) want. Once achieved, the reward is temporary at best. Doing things for others is far more rewarding.

Color me crazy but, despite the ups and downs, I think we are biologically wired for partnership. The "rewards" of living alone are largely manufactured and a poor substitute for the stuff that has existed since men and women first hooked up. A smile from the heart is priceless and worth way more than any bonus at work, etc. You just have to bank those and, when tough times happen, draw upon them to balance things out. Sorry for the novella, JHMO...

Pat.....that was absolutely profound, and one of the best things I've ever read in the Coffeeshop!

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by Lisa

Nancy, I think that's why your jokes about relationships are so funny to both the men and the women here. They are spot on and we all know it! There's something to be said - a lot to be said - for laughing at our differences.

Originally Posted by Incurable

As a single person, I find myself ping-ponging between opinions regarding my position vs. partnership. Both have their aspects, positive and negative. Frankly, it's hard to find a lot of positive testimonials from those married it seems nowadays. Coming from the opposite side of the formula, I understand it's not all good but... alone has its problems too. In my quotes thread, one I can relate to is, "All that is not given, is lost...". I think that speaks to singledom pretty well. I spent years chasing things like career, possessions, learning, skills, etc. Without people around you (like family), all these things pretty much exist in a vacuum. They go nowhere. With nobody to share these things with, the value of these "achievements" are diminished. To provide is a great thing, but to provide for nobody but myself... not so important. I bored with it long ago. The best things in life are rooted in sharing. Alone, all things revolve around what I (or you) want. Once achieved, the reward is temporary at best. Doing things for others is far more rewarding.

Color me crazy but, despite the ups and downs, I think we are biologically wired for partnership. The "rewards" of living alone are largely manufactured and a poor substitute for the stuff that has existed since men and women first hooked up. A smile from the heart is priceless and worth way more than any bonus at work, etc. You just have to bank those and, when tough times happen, draw upon them to balance things out. Sorry for the novella, JHMO...

Sometimes. A man can never be so alone as in the midst of a marriage.

[away36]

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

Sometimes. A man can never be so alone as in the midst of a marriage.

We're gonna lay a beating on your for that one, Joe.

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by away36

We're gonna lay a beating on your for that one, Joe.

No matter how I wrote the thought I could not make it sound funny.

[away36]

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

Sometimes. A man can never be so alone as in the midst of a marriage.

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

No matter how I wrote the thought I could not make it sound funny.

You're wrong. I thought it was freakin' hilarious. Mind you.....I recognize your warped sense of humour so I got it right away. You still need a beating though and I was looking for an excuse.

[Incurable]

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

Sometimes. A man can never be so alone as in the midst of a marriage.

There's always that too..

Again from the Quotes thread...

"The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives." - Albert Schweitzer

Could be related... or not. On second thought, nah...

[Incurable]

Oh, BTW... thanks for the comments. I'm not sure that properly or completely expresses my thoughts but it does contain some high-points. Based on a lot of the comments I hear, folks taking things for granted is an important problem.

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by Incurable

Oh, BTW... thanks for the comments. I'm not sure that properly or completely expresses my thoughts but it does contain some high-points. Based on a lot of the comments I hear, folks taking things for granted is an important problem.

The reason my current and last marriage is going to last is because we have learned how to commnicate. Having kids made us grow up, but communication; for us is the key. Communication at our house....wife talks, I listen, I agree. For me; I beg and sometimes get sex. When you get old, the begging is the foreplay.

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by away36

You're wrong. I thought it was freakin' hilarious. Mind you.....I recognize your warped sense of humour so I got it right away. You still need a beating though and I was looking for an excuse.

I am going to look up the meaning of that work; mind you.

[mailman]

Originally Posted by away36

Gonna babysit one of my granddaughters today. Isn't she a sweet little thing?
(insert proud grandma look here)

She's beautiful Nancy

[Lisa]

Nancy, your grandgirl is a doll!

[away36]

Originally Posted by mailman

She's beautiful Nancy

Originally Posted by Lisa

Nancy, your grandgirl is a doll!

Thank you!!! She was good as gold.......she's 2-1/2.....and NEVER stops talking! She has a wicked sense of humour and keeps us in stitches all
the time.

[away36]

Originally Posted by Lisa

Nancy, I think that's why your jokes about relationships are so funny to both the men and the women here. They are spot on and we all know it! There's something to be said - a lot to be said - for laughing at our differences.

I think it's important to keep things in perspective. Guys can't help leaving junk around any more than we can help crying over a chick flick. I always ask myself...."How important IS it?" In the big scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. After a few years, I got pretty creative about stuffing his junk in grocery bags and jamming it in closets when unexpected company was coming with 15 minutes notice.

[away36]

Originally Posted by away36

You're wrong. I thought it was freakin' hilarious. Mind you.....I recognize your warped sense of humour so I got it right away. You still need a beating though and I was looking for an excuse.

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

I am going to look up the meaning of that work; mind you.

You mean the word "beating"?......there's a new children's book that might help you.....read the first page...."See Joe. See Joe run."

[East Bay Rider]

Originally Posted by away36

... I got pretty creative about stuffing his junk in grocery bags and jamming it in closets when unexpected company was coming with 15 minutes notice.

My wife does that too.
I have an area of the kitchen counter where I put my keys and cell phone and various receipts and scraps of paper, nuts and bolts and things that are way too important to throw away at the time. They accumulate there for a while then she puts it all in a paper shopping bag and I go through it a few weeks later and throw most of it away. It's almost a ritual.
I'm a pack rat by nature.

[away36]

Originally Posted by East Bay Rider

My wife does that too.
I have an area of the kitchen counter where I put my keys and cell phone and various receipts and scraps of paper, nuts and bolts and things that are way too important to throw away at the time. They accumulate there for a while then she puts it all in a paper shopping bag and I go through it a few weeks later and throw most of it away. It's almost a ritual.
I'm a pack rat by nature.

You guys must all have exactly the same pile of junk. The description was perfect. Al's not as motivated as you, though. I think his collection is somewhere around 32 bags right now.

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by away36

You guys must all have exactly the same pile of junk. The description was perfect. Al's not as motivated as you, though. I think his collection is somewhere around 32 bags right now.

My solution was to finsh out the basement with a full bath, kitchen, bedroom, two TV rooms, video game room and general playroom for the kids. Took me three winters to complete. Did not work as the four kids, cat, bird (that will not shut up) and fish now live in the basement. I am thinking about building a storage unit with loft and move my stuff into it.

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

My solution was to finsh out the basement with a full bath, kitchen, bedroom, two TV rooms, video game room and general playroom for the kids. Took me three winters to complete. Did not work as the four kids, cat, bird (that will not shut up) and fish now live in the basement. I am thinking about building a storage unit with loft and move my stuff into it.

My husband is just like you and Al! We're just finishing up renovation of our basement Man Cave. One room for guitars and music equipment, two rooms for old short wave radios, one room for tools and parts. It will be so nice for both of us to finally have a space for his stuff. We joke that he can just move in down there because there's even a bathroom. Maybe we're not joking?

[redshirt1957]

Originally Posted by Lisa

My husband is just like you and Al! We're just finishing up renovation of our basement Man Cave. One room for guitars and music equipment, two rooms for old short wave radios, one room for tools and parts. It will be so nice for both of us to finally have a space for his stuff. We joke that he can just move in down there because there's even a bathroom. Maybe we're not joking?

After communication the next important thing for our marriage is for each to have some space. For my wife and I; the space forr me is the basement. Also, since we see each other for 6 hours a day at work; we have covered most martial issues for the day by the tme we get home.

[away36]

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

My solution was to finsh out the basement with a full bath, kitchen, bedroom, two TV rooms, video game room and general playroom for the kids. Took me three winters to complete. Did not work as the four kids, cat, bird (that will not shut up) and fish now live in the basement. I am thinking about building a storage unit with loft and move my stuff into it.

I think we girls should get the mods to set up a room just for you here. We can decorate it for you.....according to what we think would suit your personality. (snicker)

[Carolina]

Guess what? I tried sardines (in mustard sauce) and they weren't bad! Thanks, Lisa and Nancy!

I know, very exciting!!

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by Carolina

Guess what? I tried sardines (in mustard sauce) and they weren't bad! Thanks, Lisa and Nancy!

I know, very exciting!!

Good for you! And your bones will thank you. I like 'em with saltines.

have you been enjoying your new ride, Carolina?

[Carolina]

Originally Posted by Lisa

Good for you! And your bones will thank you. I like 'em with saltines.

have you been enjoying your new ride, Carolina?

I was amazed at how much good "stuff" is in them!

Not even close to getting the bike. But, we will be getting a substantial income tax refund shortly, and I think that will be the time! I think I'm also going to sign up for a cycle clinic at the Y, because I have NO formal cycle experience, and one of my goals is to do some group rides.

I'm still feeling a bit intimidated by that one, but it's good to stretch out of one's comfort zone on a regular basis!

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by Carolina

I was amazed at how much good "stuff" is in them!

Not even close to getting the bike. But, we will be getting a substantial income tax refund shortly, and I think that will be the time! I think I'm also going to sign up for a cycle clinic at the Y, because I have NO formal cycle experience, and one of my goals is to do some group rides.

I'm still feeling a bit intimidated by that one, but it's good to stretch out of one's comfort zone on a regular basis!

Good for you with the tax refund! I'm glad for you about a new bike, but actually I was talkin' about your new Honda. Hope you've enjoyed it - and having the extra room.

Gosh, I hope we get a refund, too. We've had so many huge expenses hit all at once - new concrete for the garage floor and part of the driveway, masonry work, kids' school tuition, garage and basement renovation. I've been writing checks with lots of 000s in them. We can't spend any more money for a while.

[away36]

Originally Posted by Carolina

Guess what? I tried sardines (in mustard sauce) and they weren't bad! Thanks, Lisa and Nancy!

I should eat way more sardines than I do. I have pretty bad Osteoporosis and take two medications for it. Have a several broken bones so you'd think I'd smarten up, eh?

[Goodwatch]

Originally Posted by away36

I should eat way more sardines than I do. I have pretty bad Osteoporosis and take two medications for it. Have a several broken bones so you'd think I'd smarten up, eh?

I'm a bit ashamed to barge in like this but... Try fresh sardines, brushed with olive oil and seasoned with a little sea salt on the grill. This is how I learned to eat them in Portugal and this is how we eat them every Summer with a glass of Vino Verde.

[away36]

Originally Posted by Lisa

Gosh, I hope we get a refund, too. We've had so many huge expenses hit all at once - new concrete for the garage floor and part of the driveway, masonry work, kids' school tuition, garage and basement renovation. I've been writing checks with lots of 000s in them. We can't spend any more money for a while.

That sounds like us too, Lisa. I have 3 years to go 'til retirement, and we've been trying to get all the "big ticket" items done while we're both still working. Two years ago we had new windows put in the whole house, got a new inside front door and storm door last year and this year we had to have the roof done and it was $7,000.00. We've also had some indoor reno done and got new dining room furniture which we really needed. Now the youngest son is engaged and that means a wedding coming up in 2009. Won't be any new Rolexes in THIS household for a while!

[away36]

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

I'm a bit ashamed to barge in like this but... Try fresh sardines, brushed with olive oil and seasoned with a little sea salt on the grill. This is how I learned to eat them in Portugal and this is how we eat them every Summer with a glass of Vino Verde.

Barge in ANY time, Frans! We're always thrilled to see the guys here! That actually sounds pretty good! Mind you.....I'll have to wait til the 2 feet of snow is gone from my BBQ before I can attempt that....unless it's something that would work on an indoor counter grill?