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Maybelline · 16 May 2017, 02:56 AM

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world.

He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man standing at the bar, who in his day had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West. The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked.

The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

"Sure will," replied the old-timer.

The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

"That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?"

"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.

"You bet it will," said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player.

"Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy. "I'm learnin' somethin' here.. Got anymore tips?"

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."

The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

"No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all."

"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.

The Old Timer said , "No, but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much if it's all greased up."

Psmith · 16 May 2017, 04:48 AM

BBL · 16 May 2017, 05:21 AM

Maybelline...

. absolutely hysterical, but a really big life lesson between the lines there!

Best regards, DM

Maybelline · 16 May 2017, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BBL

Maybelline...

. absolutely hysterical, but a really big life lesson between the lines there!

Best regards, DM

Cheers friend.

Hairdude1 · 17 May 2017, 08:54 AM

AzPaul · 18 May 2017, 08:05 AM

cop414 · 18 May 2017, 08:32 AM

SemperFi · 25 May 2017, 01:04 PM

Rebel · 25 May 2017, 10:31 PM

Good one.

16 May 2017, 02:56 AM	#1
Maybelline Banned Join Date: Jul 2016 Location: Gone Posts: 448	The Wild West. In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man standing at the bar, who in his day had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West. The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition. "Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked. The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man. "Sure will," replied the old-timer. The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player. "That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?" "Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man. "You bet it will," said the old-timer. The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player. "Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy. "I'm learnin' somethin' here.. Got anymore tips?" The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it." The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun. "No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man. The Old Timer said , "No, but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much if it's all greased up."

16 May 2017, 04:48 AM	#2
Psmith "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Clive Location: Exoplanet Watch: spring-driven Posts: 38,856	__________________

16 May 2017, 05:21 AM	#3
BBL "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2015 Real Name: DM Location: USA Watch: DD-YG/DJ/Breitling Posts: 8,795	Maybelline.... absolutely hysterical, but a really big life lesson between the lines there! Best regards, DM __________________ . People of integrity expect to be believed and when they are not they let time prove them right. A best friend is like a four leaf clover - hard to find and lucky to have. SJP

17 May 2017, 08:54 AM	#5
Hairdude1 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Alex Location: Chicago Watch: AP,PP, Rolex Posts: 37,156	__________________ Instagram: @Hairdude Watches in Collection 5070R, 5522A, 214270 MK1, 228238 16750, 26401, 5711, 116718, 116710LN, 116300, 16710"Coke", 372, 15300, 15703 (All Flipped) Official Member "Perpetual 30" Las Vegas GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member 'WIS-CON' Las Vegas Int'l GTG 2018

18 May 2017, 08:05 AM	#6
AzPaul 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: May 2012 Real Name: Paul Location: Tucson, Az Watch: Rolex 1501 Posts: 13,194	__________________ Ain't much of a crime, whacking a surly bartender

18 May 2017, 08:32 AM	#7
cop414 TRF Moderator & 2024 DATE-JUST41 Patron Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Tim Location: Pennsylvania Watch: 14060M Posts: 71,824	__________________ Rolex Submariner 14060M Omega Seamaster 2254.50 DOXA Professional 1200T Card carrying member of TRF's Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons TRF's "After Dark" Bar & NightClub Patron P Club Member #17 2 FA ENABLED

25 May 2017, 01:04 PM	#8
SemperFi "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Real Name: Angelo Location: Brooklyn, NY Watch: Rolex Submariner Posts: 42,164	__________________ Rolex Submariner Omega Seamaster Aqua Terra Tudor Black Bay 58 Blue Tudor Ranger 79910 Nomos Club Datum 733 Nomos Metro 38 Stowa Flieger Classic 40 * Card carrying member of TRF's Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons *

25 May 2017, 10:31 PM	#9
Rebel "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Real Name: Dr Mark R Nail Location: New Albany Watch: Tudor Sub 75090 Posts: 8,057	Good one. __________________ ------------------------------- Member of the Nylon Nation

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