Au Pair Considerations

[BristolCavendish]

Curious if anyone here uses an au pair for child-care at home. We have been considering it as a means of streamlining mid-week mornings and providing afterschool supervision while both parents are away at work. While many in our neighborhood use part-time babysitters (some of whom I suspect might lack a proper visa and/or U.S. citizenship), the advantages of having an au pair is that they are initially screened by an overseas agency and with a J-1 work permit, an American employer is not responsible for certain reportages and witholdings (i.e. IRS/SSI deductions). On the other hand, au pair expenses are usually costlier from the standpoint of agency fees and the various provisions an employer must provide (e.g. up to $500.00 in tuition fees for 6 semester hours of academic credit, two-weeks paid vacation in addition to one paid weekend-off per month, plus room and board and any related car expenses etc.).

About the only 'bone of contention' that occasionally comes up is in the actual selection of the au pair. After having discussed this issue with a couple of other parents, I learned that most wives were adamant that the au pair not be a 'Miss Iceland' (in other words a stone fox). There was an incident awhile back where one wife came home and found her husband in the hot tub with the au pair while the kids were away at a sleepover. It eventually led to a divorce amid accusations of impropriety and adultery.

Personally speaking, I would prefer an au pair that is both easy on the eyes as well as responsible. All things considered, at this stage in my life I can't afford a divorce.

[Abdullah71601]

Originally Posted by BristolCavendish

Curious if anyone here uses an au pair for child-care at home. We have been considering it as a means of streamlining mid-week mornings and providing afterschool supervision while both parents are away at work. While many in our neighborhood use part-time babysitters (some of whom I suspect might lack a proper visa and/or U.S. citizenship), the advantages of having an au pair is that they are initially screened by an overseas agency and with a J-1 work permit, an American employer is not responsible for certain reportages and witholdings (i.e. IRS/SSI deductions). On the other hand, au pair expenses are usually costlier from the standpoint of agency fees and the various provisions an employer must provide (e.g. up to $500.00 in tuition fees for 6 semester hours of academic credit, two-weeks paid vacation in addition to one paid weekend-off per month, plus room and board and any related car expenses etc.).

About the only 'bone of contention' that occasionally comes up is in the actual selection of the au pair. After having discussed this issue with a couple of other parents, I learned that most wives were adamant that the au pair not be a 'Miss Iceland' (in other words a stone fox). There was an incident awhile back where one wife came home and found her husband in the hot tub with the au pair while the kids were away at a sleepover. It eventually led to a divorce amid accusations of impropriety and adultery.

Personally speaking, I would prefer an au pair that is both easy on the eyes as well as responsible. All things considered, at this stage in my life I can't afford a divorce.

Fat, ugly, and male is your best option.

[superdog]

Curious how you survived before TRF.

[Etschell]

Perhaps those taking you lemons are the undocumeted baby sitters. Just a thought.

[mmutte]

Originally Posted by superdog

Curious how you survived before TRF.

I'm convinced he's a best-selling fiction writer. If not a writer, certainly needs to consider it.

[SemperFi]

Originally Posted by Abdullah71601

Fat, ugly, and male is your best option.

Run with that.

[Rolex addict]

Originally Posted by Etschell

Perhaps those taking you lemons are the undocumeted baby sitters. Just a thought.

If the au pair AND dog take a dump in his yard, I hope someone posts that video to YouTube. In true WIS fashion, I'll use the chronograph on my Platona to time how long it takes.

[FTX I]

Originally Posted by superdog

Curious how you survived before TRF.

[armen34]

Pics or it didn't happen

[mjclark32]

[Danny83]

Whatever you say ref1655 ...

[rolexgiants]

Originally Posted by superdog

Curious how you survived before TRF.

LOL LOL LOL.... born again ref1655

[D111s]

Originally Posted by Abdullah71601

Fat, ugly, and male is your best option.

This !

[Wesley Crusher]

The last time I recall somebody saying Au Pair was Pete Campbell from Mad Men.

[Wesley Crusher]

Originally Posted by Abdullah71601

Fat, ugly, and male is your best option.

He should also hate lemons and flowers.

[rootbeer7]

Originally Posted by superdog

Curious how you survived before TRF.

[Abdullah71601]

Originally Posted by Wesley Crusher

He should also hate lemons and flowers.

Or, love them enough to defend them when Bristol won't.

[BristolCavendish]

Back to topic. I was also somewhat concerned about any health care responsibilities on the part of the employer. Turns out that an au pair must provide their own health insurance coverage as per a U.S. State Department mandate, something called 'visitor's insurance'.

Based on the majority of these insightful responses, I can safely assume that few here have any parental experience in this area. It must be nice to somehow be able to devote all of one's energy and resources towards purely whimsical and self-serving endeavors. Some folks have all the luck.

[Vaxe]

My relative hosted an au pair for a couple of years. She took care of 2 kids, helped around the house, and became a part of the family (adopted by) before moving off to college. I think they more closely resemble babysitters over maids - i.e. she was never asked to prep meals, do laundry, and scrub the floor.

Lots of au pairs from Europe reside where I'm at - mostly coming from Iceland and France. I've dated a few who seemed very keen on staying in the US after their visa, so if you're already thinking of an potential affair, I would be weary as it may be tough to resist a young and attractive European looking for marriage. Don't mean to generalize but I have yet to meet one who isn't A+ material.

Edit- also don't mean to say they will deliberately tempt you, but it could be awkward

[Lawman77]

Personally, I have an au pair, maid, and monkey butler. Life is so much easier now.

[droptopman]

After reading this, I am considering one. We don't have kids but a smoking hot European gal around the house seems like a great idea. Not sure how the wife would feel about it though...
Actually I do know, she would assault me

[utc66]

My wife and I have had Eleven (yes 11 Au Paurs) from many countries to watch our 3 kids. PM me if you want to learn more about our experience.

Cheers.

[Lawman77]

Originally Posted by utc66

My wife and I have had Eleven (yes 11 Au Paurs) from many countries to watch our 3 kids. PM me if you want to learn more about our experience.

Cheers.

Player.

[Investr]

Is it ok to wear my sub while having an affair with the nanny?

[VICI]

What does a 25 year old know about taking care of a baby / kid?

Leave the easy on the eyes for other times and get someone who's had kids and isn't their first time at the rodeo.

[bayerische]

So if you get a "hot" Au Pair, it would lead to adultery?

[bayerische]

We (my family) had an Au Pair from Canada when I was about 15-16, my younger brother was about 10. He learnt english excellently, well so did I, but I wasn't bad to begin with.

At no point was she "here to marry" she was a young sweet girl I think she was 18 and turned 19 at the time looking for a little adventure and trying her own legs I guess. Oh, and yeah, she did hook up, not with my father but with a guy her age.

Suggesting that Au Pair's from Europe come to the US, or vice versa to hook up with the man of the house is ridiculous. I'm sure "stuff" happens, but it's naive to think this would in anyway or form be some kind of praxis.

One of my ex employees was an au pair for a few years for a very wealthy family in the US. This family was great friends with ex presidents etc, I won't say more, and she was treated as family. She did have a job to do, but she wasn't a housekeeper. She didn't have an affair with the man of the house. Or his friends. However, she did meet a guy her age , not wealthy, and no relations to her Au Pair family. They are now married and live in California.

But if the OP is serious about an Au Pair, I can highly recommend it, because both my brother and I thought it was awesome. My wife and I have talked about it, and if we have kids we will definitely have an Au Pair (or several).

Do leave the thoughts about possible "hook-up" with the au pair off the table though. As it is ridiculous.

[Xenophon]

Given your track record and that the majority of your threads have been locked, I'd just like to say:
IBTL

[Muzz]

We have two Au Pairs one for each boy. To get to where we are we went through at least 8 different ones.

At first my Wife wanted older ladies in which I was against as I really do not want to hire a mother hen and I was sure it would be a problem, it was. Fired every single old lady as they were not the happy go lucky people they made themselves out to be.

The two we have now are in their early 20s and both have kids.

I can tell you we have a very fun and awesome household now and the kids have never been happier. They love playing with the boys and have a great time being part of our family.

The key is to find someone that loves kids and has kids. Avoid people that are just looking for a job as they seem to be not as sincere and loving to the children.

We have a large house and everyone has their own bedroom and washroom. We all eat the same food and they are truly kind hearts.

My boys have never been happier and my Wife too.

It gives us the chance to have a lot more time with them directly.

Side note, we have cameras in every room of the house (yeah, not in the bathrooms) and we have never had to review footage. The younger Au Pairs are our blessing.

[bayerische]

Steve out of curiosity I ask, these Au Pairs you currently have, who are in their twenties, you mention they have kids... Where are these girls from?