A Rolex ethical dilemma for the wise watchmen of TRF

[Abdullah71601]

I have been intrigued by the car threads of late, and fully enabled by my WIS brethren have sought out a brilliant car for the new year. It was a tie between the Mustang GT350 and Cadillac CTS-V (gotta love Detroit iron). There were no Mustangs to be found and the Caddies were stacked like cordwood on the lot, so I made a great year end deal on the Caddy, paying with a sack of gold double eagles I have had in the mattress for a few years.

The car is peppy, but not as much as I had anticipated, and the brakes a tad grabby. Since I had four years of shop in high school 40 years ago and was gifted a box of Snap-On tools last spring, I figured I'm an expert in all things automotive. The brakes were hard to adjust until I tweaked them with my cutting torch. I figured the acceleration issue was bad gas so I juiced it up with some nitroglycerine cut 80/20 with nitromethanol, and added a pint of diesel elixir to prevent pre-ignition.

I took the car out on the road to test the adjustments, and other than a bit of a body slam when the turbo kicked in, everything was peachy. I was cruising at about 195 when I saw a car in the break down lane ahead. About a half mile away I could see the tell tale glint of a Submariner on the drivers wrist. I pulled over to check it out and met a lovely gentlemen named Bristol Cavensomething (BC), who was in a great hurry to reach a lecture on men's wedding rings in the next town over.

As time was of the essence, I chose to take the Caddy cross country. The 600 horses purred as she wizzed through corn stubble on the way to the low water crossing. As I crested the hill near the river it was quite apparent the water was neither low, nor sufficiently frozen to support the car. So, I gunned it down the hill and hydroplaned the car across the river. We made it fine to the other side, but coming up the bank on the far side bumped into a pine tree just hard enough to deploy the passenger side air bag.

BC looked upset. I assured him we had plenty of time to get to the lecture. But, he stormed out of the car and headed towards town on foot. About 100 feet away a black bear jumped out of a juniper bush, pounced on BC, and consumed him entirely.

Now, for the ethical dilemma. Should I shoot the bear now and retrieve the Submariner, or track him until he passes it in his droppings?

Thanks in advance.

[MonBK]

You should get down on your knees and thank the bear for the great service he did.

Since you bought the wrong vehicle not equipped with Grey Poupon maybe you can find a jar of honey to reward him?

[Star Ferry]

You've beaten him at his own game. This is great.

[SearChart]

[MonBK]

.

[Abdullah71601]

Originally Posted by MonBK

.

Patience Mon, I'm working it.

`

[MonBK]

Originally Posted by Abdullah71601

Patience Mon, I'm working it.

`

[jmiicustomz]

I'm with Mon on this one, that and you need to sacrifice your 3 first born as an offering.

To know the future is to be trapped by it

[Abdullah71601]

Originally Posted by jmiicustomz

I'm with Mon on this one, that and you need to sacrifice your 3 first born as an offering.

To know the future is to be trapped by it

Huge relief. I thought you were going to tell me to give up a watch.

[jmiicustomz]

Originally Posted by Abdullah71601

Huge relief. I thought you were going to tell me to give up a watch.

That would be sacrilege!!!!! Sir. I, as a gentleman and a scholar, could never condone such a heinous act!

Now should you shoot the bear please save me some rancid bear grease as I hear it works wonders for ED.....shhhh, don't tell anyone!

To know the future is to be trapped by it

[TheVTCGuy]

Wow... what a story.... You know, if it wasn't Abdullah telling it I might think the whole thing was a fabrication....

[Abdullah71601]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

Wow... what a story.... You know, if it wasn't Abdullah telling it I might think the whole thing was a fabrication....

It's not whether the story is true or not that is important, it's whether you "got" the Rolex ethical dilemma.

[cop414]

I'm roaring here Abdullah, that watch needs to be retrieved from the "pile" and donated for the next TRF giveaway! What provenance!

[superdog]

Ok. I'm officially impressed.

Well done. Well done.

[andromeda160]

That must have been such a horrible and traumatizing experience...


How much longer til the cars fixed?

[Abdullah71601]

Originally Posted by andromeda160

That must have been such a horrible and traumatizing experience...


How much longer til the cars fixed?

Those dings are character marks! I'll get them polished out at the next full service.

[sco]

If you recover the body, will they be wearing a Rolex at the funeral?

[andromeda160]

Originally Posted by sco

If you recover the body, will they be wearing a Rolex at the funeral?

no point I'd imagine its going to be a closed casket. And as they say... no sense in polishing a turd, it's still a turd.

[andromeda160]

Originally Posted by Abdullah71601

Those dings are character marks! I'll get them polished out at the next full service.

Im so glad I woke up to this post

[Etschell]

I'm surprised you didn't meet a bloke on the side of the road rummaging through a washing machine for rolex parts.

[Pix]

When the thread title sez...Wise Watchmen of TRF, i knew I was in for a ride!

[AzPaul]

Because the bear has now tasted fine timepieces, as a service to the surrounding communities, you need to put him down before he strikes again. You owe it to the other WIS in the area.

Removing the watch afterwards is simply good stewardship. No reason to risk another similar incident by leaving the Submariner subject to other scavenger animals.

[Abdullah71601]

Originally Posted by cop414

I'm roaring here Abdullah, that watch needs to be retrieved from the "pile" and donated for the next TRF giveaway! What provenance!

Originally Posted by AzPaul

Because the bear has now tasted fine timepieces, as a service to the surrounding communities, you need to put him down before he strikes again. You owe it to the other WIS in the area.

Removing the watch afterwards is simply good stewardship. No reason to risk another similar incident by leaving the Submariner subject to other scavenger animals.

See. This is why it is such a dilemma.

[TheVTCGuy]

Originally Posted by Abdullah71601

It's not whether the story is true or not that is important, it's whether you "got" the Rolex ethical dilemma.

Of course! But the REAL question is...


Did it go through the washing machine?

[CRM114]

Originally Posted by AzPaul

Because the bear has now tasted fine timepieces, as a service to the surrounding communities, you need to put him down before he strikes again. You owe it to the other WIS in the area.

Removing the watch afterwards is simply good stewardship. No reason to risk another similar incident by leaving the Submariner subject to other scavenger animals.

I question the assertion that the bear developed a taste for fine timepieces when it seems far more likely what it tasted was the meat and bone marrow of the wearer himself, not the SS of the Sub he happened to be wearing. Given that, plus recently reading somewhere on this forum that "Submariners are for people who don't know anything about watches", then no actual WIS will be put at risk by letting the bear live. If none are at risk, then no dilemma exists.

Therefore, my vote is for allowing the bear's digestive system to do it's work. The Sub will survive the passage and eventually be found in the woods by a tracker or wandering minstrels or Little Red Riding Hood no worse for wear. That's the important thing.


And bravo to Abdullah for sneaking in the Post of the Year with only a couple days to go in 2016 Corn stubble and hydroplaning...pure gold.

[-lenny-]

[BristolCavendish]

Thanks for your most recent semblance of 'reality'. As some might say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Now if the bear was really smart, he'd simply wear the Submariner and start posting on TRF.

Best wishes to all for 2017.

[droptopman]

LOL, might we say this is an "iconic" post. Well played.

For the dilemma, let the bear live as he/she provided us a great service. Retrieve the Sub when it is time.

[cop414]

Originally Posted by CRM114

And bravo to Abdullah for sneaking in the Post of the Year with only a couple days to go in 2016 Corn stubble and hydroplaning...pure gold.

Have to agree, now I need to change my vote for Post of the Year!

[TheVTCGuy]

Originally Posted by cop414

Have to agree, now I need to change my vote for Post of the Year!

Yeah, got to admit to that crazy nut, this was a good one.