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11618 · 1 July 2012, 12:14 AM

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the u nivers e.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 . Procrastinate Now! < BR>
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24 .. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Have A Good day Tony!

bewithabob · 1 July 2012, 12:23 AM

good!

FeelingTheBlues · 1 July 2012, 12:37 AM

Funny!

TSW · 1 July 2012, 03:37 AM

:)

Art 1 · 1 July 2012, 04:33 AM

Bangel · 1 July 2012, 09:09 AM

Those 29 lines sure made me smile!

1 July 2012, 12:14 AM	#1
11618 Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: UK Posts: 406	Twenty nine lines to make you smile TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. 6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me 7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the u nivers e. 9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing. 10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. 12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many. 13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. 15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it! 17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 18 . Procrastinate Now! < BR> 19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 24 .. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD. 25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music. 28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. 29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on. Have A Good day Tony!

1 July 2012, 12:23 AM	#2
bewithabob "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Bob Location: Dallas, Texas Watch: Daytona Meteorite Posts: 3,413	good! __________________ meteor flying to Earth onto my wrist... 116509 Daytona Meteorite, 116520 Daytona Black, 116710 GMTIIC, 16013 DATEJUST, CARTIER SANTOS 100 W20090X8, IWC Big Pilot, IWC Top Gun "Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end."

1 July 2012, 12:37 AM	#3
FeelingTheBlues "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Real Name: Carl Location: Always moving Watch: If you wish... Posts: 22,039	Funny! __________________ Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin

1 July 2012, 03:37 AM	#4
TSW "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: TSW Location: Le Brassus Watch: Rolex & AP's Posts: 27,449	:) __________________ AP Owners Club IG @swiss.watch.connection

1 July 2012, 04:33 AM	#5
Art 1 Banned Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florida, Canada Watch: Rol/Seik/Tud/Omega Posts: 30,244

1 July 2012, 09:09 AM	#6
Bangel "TRF" Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Australia Watch: 116610LN Posts: 15,802	Those 29 lines sure made me smile!

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