ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

8 September 2005, 07:57 AM

I'm getting them all out of my system at once.

My cousin (a lawyer) said he had heard them all before - maybe I have something new in there for you? j/k all in fun of course - besides, Padi started it!

Lawyers Q&A:

Q. What do lawyers use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.

Q. What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A. A tick falls off of you when you die.

Q. Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their
clients?
A. To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the
same service.

Q. What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand? A. Not enough sand.

Q. What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A. Doberman.

Q. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A. If one side has one, the other side has to get one.
Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.

Q. What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q. Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
A. They had pictures of lawyers on them ...and people couldn't figure out
which side to spit on.

Q. What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull?
A. Lipstick.

Q. What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?
A. Skeet.

Q. If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting
him?
A. It might be your bicycle.

Q. Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?
A. The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures.

Q. It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?)
A. ...... I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

Q. Do you know what happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
A. He gets taller.

Q. What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.

and finally........

The Lawyer's Creed: A man is innocent until proven pennyless.

JJ Irani · 8 September 2005, 09:04 AM

LOL!!

Loved the post office one!!

AJC · 8 September 2005, 11:16 AM

Rockrolex · 8 September 2005, 12:06 PM

And just remember Al, when you need a good lawyer, come see me. I will defend you to your last dollar.

padi56 · 9 September 2005, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockrolex

And just remember Al, when you need a good lawyer, come see me. I will defend you to your last dollar.

See Al 100% true every one.

9 September 2005, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by padi56

See Al 100% true every one.

No surprise here, Padi!

Thanks for being a good sport, Ed (now please don't sue me!)

padi56 · 9 September 2005, 02:40 AM

Famous last words Al

9 September 2005, 02:43 AM

Hmmm... they all add up to a "lawyer" who resides at another forum.

padi56 · 9 September 2005, 02:46 AM

Quote:

Hmmm... they all add up to a "lawyer" who resides at another forum

Lawyer well thats debatable,but thats unmentionable too.

JJ Irani · 9 September 2005, 04:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atomic

Hmmm... they all add up to a "lawyer" who resides at another forum.

You couldn't resist, could you, Johnny?

9 September 2005, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJ Irani

You couldn't resist, could you, Johnny?

No, he couldn't!

8 September 2005, 07:57 AM	#1
---- Guest Posts: n/a	Sorry Ed, but at least.......... I'm getting them all out of my system at once. My cousin (a lawyer) said he had heard them all before - maybe I have something new in there for you? j/k all in fun of course - besides, Padi started it! Lawyers Q&A: Q. What do lawyers use for birth control? A. Their personalities. Q. What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A. A tick falls off of you when you die. Q. Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? A. To prevent clients from being billed twice for what is essentially the same service. Q. What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand? A. Not enough sand. Q. What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road? A. There are skid marks in front of the skunk. Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A. Doberman. Q. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? A. If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever. Q. What do lawyers and sperm have in common? A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being. Q. Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? A. They had pictures of lawyers on them ...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. Q. What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? A. Lipstick. Q. What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane? A. Skeet. Q. If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him? A. It might be your bicycle. Q. Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A. The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythical creatures. Q. It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?) A. ...... I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets. Q. Do you know what happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? A. He gets taller. Q. What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A. A good start. and finally........ The Lawyer's Creed: A man is innocent until proven pennyless. Last edited by ----; 8 September 2005 at 07:59 AM..

8 September 2005, 09:04 AM	#2
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,320	LOL!! Loved the post office one!! __________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

8 September 2005, 12:06 PM	#4
Rockrolex TRF Moderator & 2024 DATE-JUST41 Patron Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: God Location: Washington, D.C. Watch: What do you think? Posts: 37,507	And just remember Al, when you need a good lawyer, come see me. I will defend you to your last dollar. __________________ Despite the high cost of living, it's still very popular. *Tosser Cabinet Member* Official Member: 'Perpetual 30' Vegas International GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2018 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2019

9 September 2005, 02:40 AM	#7
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,260	Famous last words Al __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

8 September 2005, 11:16 AM	#3
AJC "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 1,878

9 September 2005, 02:43 AM	#8
Atomic Guest Posts: n/a	Hmmm... they all add up to a "lawyer" who resides at another forum.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)