Anxiety, any one else?

[TheVTCGuy]

So, this thread may be a little TMI, I will apologize if it offends anyone; but then again it may help some members, so here goes.

I am a Veteran and have been diagnosed with PTSD. It started years ago, and honestly, for a long time I just didn’t understand what was happening (which made it seriously scary). For those of you that have never experienced extreme anxiety or panic attacks, first, consider yourself lucky, but it is exceptionally difficult to explain. There is a psychological feeling of impending doom, something bad is going to happen and you are helpless. This manifests itself physically, adrenaline builds until you are literally shaking and non-functional. These attacks can last from 30 seconds to a couple minutes and are the absolute worst experience imaginable; it can (and has) driven a grown man to tears. I have prescription medicine, which helps tremendously, but I (try to) take it only in the most seriousness of needs.

Things set off episodes, a bad day at work, or a financial event. You can feel great for months then something will click, and you are battling anxiety, eventually dealing with the attacks. Sometimes this last a few weeks, sometimes longer. I have tried meditation, positive thinking, Tai Chi, natural supplements, (REALLY try to NOT take the prescription medicine).

I am wondering if other TRFers have these struggles? What remedies have you tried that work? I am taking a supplement now called Calm by Regan Health that does seem to help, and believe me, I have tried hundreds.

Anyway, I don’t want to be a downer, but if you have experience please post it on here, maybe we can help each other.

[MikeMWatchFan]

100% understand and have battled this. I know the torment well. As simple as this sounds, also try downloading the calm app and listen to a week worth of meditations. It really helped me understand what was going on.

[joeychitwood]

I was attacked and beaten unconscious by a psychotic patient in my Emergency Department in 2011. He continued to beat and kick me for two minutes after I was unconscious. It took four police officers to subdue him. He told the police and a psychiatrist that he tried to beat me to death but he got tired.

Afterwards, I had flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilence, depresssion and anxiety. Sudden noises caused my to jump. Even though I was a physician, I didn’t know what was happening to me.

Though I had absolutely no confidence in psychiatry or psychology, I began seeing a psychologist. He was extremely smart and patient, and over a period of two years, all of my symptoms resolved. He helped me understand PTSD, as I had always been of the opinion that it could only happen to soldiers or people much more traumatized than me.

My turning point was one day when he told me that I could thrive in my new reality of TBI and deficits. I choose to believe him, and everything changed. It seems too simple, but once I surrendered to the reality and accepted it, my life became peaceful. I’m not saying PTSD would be the same for anyone else, but acceptance was the key for me.

[Patton250]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

So, this thread may be a little TMI, I will apologize if it offends anyone; but then again it may help some members, so here goes.

I am a Veteran and have been diagnosed with PTSD. It started years ago, and honestly, for a long time I just didn’t understand what was happening (which made it seriously scary). For those of you that have never experienced extreme anxiety or panic attacks, first, consider yourself lucky, but it is exceptionally difficult to explain. There is a psychological feeling of impending doom, something bad is going to happen and you are helpless. This manifests itself physically, adrenaline builds until you are literally shaking and non-functional. These attacks can last from 30 seconds to a couple minutes and are the absolute worst experience imaginable; it can (and has) driven a grown man to tears. I have prescription medicine, which helps tremendously, but I (try to) take it only in the most seriousness of needs.

Things set off episodes, a bad day at work, or a financial event. You can feel great for months then something will click, and you are battling anxiety, eventually dealing with the attacks. Sometimes this last a few weeks, sometimes longer. I have tried meditation, positive thinking, Tai Chi, natural supplements, (REALLY try to NOT take the prescription medicine).

I am wondering if other TRFers have these struggles? What remedies have you tried that work? I am taking a supplement now called Calm by Regan Health that does seem to help, and believe me, I have tried hundreds.

Anyway, I don’t want to be a downer, but if you have experience please post it on here, maybe we can help each other.

I had severe anxiety over 20 years ago. Way too many things were happening in my life at the same time and it must’ve gotten to me. There’s nothing quite like a panic attack. The best way to describe it to someone that’s never had one would be imagine if you were in a restaurant and all of a sudden four velociraptors came in and started attacking people. You would freak out and be scared to death. You would also try to escape. Mentally you would be fine with how your body was feeling at that moment because it would be a natural reaction to your surroundings and what you were witnessing. The fact that you were sweating, your heart was palpitating as well as racing and you were scared to death would be perfectly normal for that moment. Now let’s switch things up and imagine yourself in your living room when everything is calm and peaceful and all of a sudden you feel the exact same way as you did in the restaurant when the velociraptors came in only this time nothing like that is happening yet your body is reacting the same way. Sweating, massive heart palpitations/racing and extreme fear. That is a panic attack.

Once I came to totally understand what a panic attack was I became less scared of it and the attacks started going away rapidly. I got lots of other help from a different Source however we’re not allowed to discuss those things here on this forum.

Anxiety and depression are their highest levels worldwide (including children) in first world countries than they’ve ever been since keeping track of it even though we have the best standard of living and security in recorded history. The pharmaceutical companies are making a fortune from medication. Its sad.

[White Collar Boy]

A person in my family suffers from anxiety and panic attacks; talking therapy with a psychologist has been highly effective at two points in their life including for last six months.

Sorry to hear you are battling this Paul. Brave and cool of you all to talk about it.

[GradyPhilpott]

I'm VA rated for PTSD with full benefits.

You didn't say if you were rated by the VA, but if you are not, you should start the process ASAP.

There is help and don't be averse to medication.

Treatment saved my life.

[Boothroyd]

I have experienced a panic attack or two in my life. Nothing chronic. But the feeling of disassociation is one of the most profound and disturbing things I have ever experienced.

I know it can become crippling as one begins to associate particular places and events with the chance of even having a panic attack. (Have one on a flight, have a real problem with ever flying again, for example).

Paul, I hope you find relief. Just wanted to amplify what a harrowing experience these are from my limited experience.

[TheVTCGuy]

Originally Posted by GradyPhilpott

I'm VA rated for PTSD with full benefits.

You didn't say if you were rated by the VA, but if you are not, you should start the process ASAP.

There is help and don't be averse to medication.

Treatment saved my life.

I am Grady, and I am receiving VA counseling. Thank you

And thank you everyone else

[330ci]

I used to get panic attacks fairly frequently, and suffered through depression for a long time. I was diagnosed with Bi polar 1 when I was 23, that was the first time I was locked up in the cuckoos nest. Took me a few years to accept my diagnosis and isolate the triggers in my life which practically amounted to everything.

Around Feb of 2020 I had a mental breakdown, my whole construct of reality faded away and by March I thought God had chosen me to lead America into it's next revolution. I was arrested with a car full of things we can't talk about here with thousands of pieces of lead to put in them with nightvision scopes, body armor, you name it. Ended up spending 50 days in jail during covid lockdown under indictment for a few felonies.

Apparently God didn't want me to lead the next American revolution, he got me off my charges for giving a good effort in his name. during my incarceration, I was still hearing voices in my head that I believed to be the voice of God. At some point it convinced me to run head first into the jail cell door which cracked my skull upon impact and shattered my T1 vertebrate.
I remember floating above my body watching the 2 COs that rushed into my cell take care of me, I remember seeing the one putting a towel over my head to soak up the blood and the huge pool of it that was puddled around my skull. It looked practically black.
The next thing I remembered was waking up in the hospital in the ER. I forced them not to give me any narcotics. Ended up getting a big ass needle jammed into my spine, had to get my skull stapled and stitched shut. Suffered a TBI. Shattered my T1 vertebrate. After they confirmed I was able to stand on my own the next morning after doing some more tests, they took my ass straight back to jail, stripped me naked, put a poncho on me, handcuffed me to my waist and forced me to shit in a hole. All the while recovering with 7 stitches and 4 staples in my skull and from breaking my back.

I wasn't allowed to be uncuffed to eat so I refused. It got so bad they kept all my cups of water numbered with how many I had drank over certain days as I was that close to death by the time they let me out there into the SHU. I attached a picture of the cell below. The lights were on 24/7, no blanket or pillow to sleep. It was pure torture.


Once I got to the Special housing unit things weren't much better. The company in jail sucks. Fortunately I had a ton of commissary waiting for me as I spent my birthday in jail and my family didn't find out where I was for weeks and my parents said they didn't report me missing as they had contacted my ex and she said I was with her. Then they went to her place and I wasn't there and eventually got my mail and saw a letter for my court date. I was so out of my mind, the thought to call them didn't cross my mind, but they ended up being a good source of support to bring me back to sanity once we did get in touch.
After 50 days locked up, I finally had my day in court. The gun charges were dropped in exchange for a misdemeanor by an act of God. I was released on a year of unsupervised probation on the stipulation I met with a therapist bi weekly and paid my therapist to report about my sessions to my probation officer.

But I still have flashbacks every time I pass a cop now. I just get paralyzed in fear that I'll end up in jail and relive that moment again, then have flashbacks of my body bleeding out on the floor and then I have to realize that I believed everything going through my head when it happened. Which brings on fear of future manic episodes, and constant self scrutiny of my mental state.

When I actually got arrested I was sitting in some persons piece of shit Ford focus that was rusting out and told them that if they traded me their keys they could have my key to my mustang(which was out of gas because I thought God had given me an unlimited fuel tank... don't ask) (loaded with unmentionables on the side of the highway) and that it was worth a ton more than their car. Then proceeded to tell them to point their gun at me and shoot me because it wouldn't kill me before the police arrived, then encouraged the police to do the same. I still remember the lasers of their guns on my face. And I had thrown a loaded unmentionable in someone's ditch on my way to the Ford focus so they assumed I had more guns. It was a shit show and im lucky to be alive.


But after surviving that ordeal, and working with my therapist for years. Finding a lifestyle that works for me. I realize how incredibly tough I have to work to survive. Because if I give up on my diet, pick up drugs or drinking again, quit riding my bike. I'm as good as dead. I think on the tougher days, Yoga, Practicing gratitude and surrounding myself with people(which is usually when I want to be around others the least) has kept me grounded. One thing my therapist said to me that has stuck for years is that we can't be anxious or depressed living in the present. All our fears and anxieties lie in the future and anything that depresses us comes from the past. Anytime I find myself uncomfortable, I do my best to isolate the incident causing the feelings and deconstruct its value to me emotionally in an attempt to remedy my discomfort. Alot of days I just have to remind myself that it's okay to not feel okay, but its not okay to not allow myself to feel it when I do. Feelings are much better processed than avoided, however uncomfortable that may be at times.

That being said, I spend a ton of time alone, reflecting on my thoughts and actions as a result. Only really hang around others when cycling as anytime I talk to people I generally can't stand them. This forum with its rules definitely has given me a template on how to keep things civil whilst engaging with others. But I get rather uncomfortable fast when deviating into some of the forbidden topics here. Aparently i have a more "splitting" view of the world than most people. Some days I can engage in a more grey manner but most days it's black and white only.

Mental illness is tough, certainly don't know all the answers as this stuff exhausts me beyond the most physical of activities alot of days. I did have a pretty good streak going mar 2021-22 but my depression came back pretty hard around the second anniversary of all this stuff and I haven't quite shaken it yet.

you're not alone and keep up all the good work. I look at everyday as a new canvas at this point, and even with recent setbacks, I reflect now and realize I am doing so much better than I was 2 years ago and thats what the journey is all about. For me once I cut out alcohol and all the prescriptions they had me on and started working out regularly and seeing a therapist I've been much more stable. Haven't been to a mental hospital in rehab in years, and am doing better now financially, in relationships and have a far better trajectory in life going forward as well. Physically, I've never been better, so I can give myself some slack for still being a work in progress. Progress not perfection. I think its when I emphasize too much on perfection that things get really haywire.

If you ever would like to chat feel free to send me a PM

One of the scars on my partially deformed skull I feel almost every day and it sends me right back to that cell...

[TheVTCGuy]

Originally Posted by 330ci

I used to get panic attacks fairly frequently, and suffered through depression for a long time. I was diagnosed with Bi polar 1 when I was 23, that was the first time I was locked up in the cuckoos nest. Took me a few years to accept my diagnosis and isolate the triggers in my life which practically amounted to everything.

Around Feb of 2020 I had a mental breakdown, my whole construct of reality faded away and by March I thought God had chosen me to lead America into it's next revolution. I was arrested with a car full of things we can't talk about here with thousands of pieces of lead to put in them with nightvision scopes, body armor, you name it. Ended up spending 50 days in jail during covid lockdown under indictment for a few felonies.

Apparently God didn't want me to lead the next American revolution, he got me off my charges for giving a good effort in his name. during my incarceration, I was still hearing voices in my head that I believed to be the voice of God. At some point it convinced me to run head first into the jail cell door which cracked my skull upon impact and shattered my T1 vertebrate.
I remember floating above my body watching the 2 COs that rushed into my cell take care of me, I remember seeing the one putting a towel over my head to soak up the blood and the huge pool of it that was puddled around my skull. It looked practically black.
The next thing I remembered was waking up in the hospital in the ER. I forced them not to give me any narcotics. Ended up getting a big ass needle jammed into my spine, had to get my skull stapled and stitched shut. Suffered a TBI. Shattered my T1 vertebrate. After they confirmed I was able to stand on my own the next morning after doing some more tests, they took my ass straight back to jail, stripped me naked, put a poncho on me, handcuffed me to my waist and forced me to shit in a hole. All the while recovering with 7 stitches and 4 staples in my skull and from breaking my back.

I wasn't allowed to be uncuffed to eat so I refused. It got so bad they kept all my cups of water numbered with how many I had drank over certain days as I was that close to death by the time they let me out there into the SHU. I attached a picture of the cell below. The lights were on 24/7, no blanket or pillow to sleep. It was pure torture.


Once I got to the Special housing unit things weren't much better. The company in jail sucks. Fortunately I had a ton of commissary waiting for me as I spent my birthday in jail and my family didn't find out where I was for weeks and my parents said they didn't report me missing as they had contacted my ex and she said I was with her. Then they went to her place and I wasn't there and eventually got my mail and saw a letter for my court date. I was so out of my mind, the thought to call them didn't cross my mind, but they ended up being a good source of support to bring me back to sanity once we did get in touch.
After 50 days locked up, I finally had my day in court. The gun charges were dropped in exchange for a misdemeanor by an act of God. I was released on a year of unsupervised probation on the stipulation I met with a therapist bi weekly and paid my therapist to report about my sessions to my probation officer.

But I still have flashbacks every time I pass a cop now. I just get paralyzed in fear that I'll end up in jail and relive that moment again, then have flashbacks of my body bleeding out on the floor and then I have to realize that I believed everything going through my head when it happened. Which brings on fear of future manic episodes, and constant self scrutiny of my mental state.

When I actually got arrested I was sitting in some persons piece of shit Ford focus that was rusting out and told them that if they traded me their keys they could have my key to my mustang(which was out of gas because I thought God had given me an unlimited fuel tank... don't ask) (loaded with unmentionables on the side of the highway) and that it was worth a ton more than their car. Then proceeded to tell them to point their gun at me and shoot me because it wouldn't kill me before the police arrived, then encouraged the police to do the same. I still remember the lasers of their guns on my face. And I had thrown a loaded unmentionable in someone's ditch on my way to the Ford focus so they assumed I had more guns. It was a shit show and im lucky to be alive.


But after surviving that ordeal, and working with my therapist for years. Finding a lifestyle that works for me. I realize how incredibly tough I have to work to survive. Because if I give up on my diet, pick up drugs or drinking again, quit riding my bike. I'm as good as dead. I think on the tougher days, Yoga, Practicing gratitude and surrounding myself with people(which is usually when I want to be around others the least) has kept me grounded. One thing my therapist said to me that has stuck for years is that we can't be anxious or depressed living in the present. All our fears and anxieties lie in the future and anything that depresses us comes from the past. Anytime I find myself uncomfortable, I do my best to isolate the incident causing the feelings and deconstruct its value to me emotionally in an attempt to remedy my discomfort. Alot of days I just have to remind myself that it's okay to not feel okay, but its not okay to not allow myself to feel it when I do. Feelings are much better processed than avoided, however uncomfortable that may be at times.

That being said, I spend a ton of time alone, reflecting on my thoughts and actions as a result. Only really hang around others when cycling as anytime I talk to people I generally can't stand them. This forum with its rules definitely has given me a template on how to keep things civil whilst engaging with others. But I get rather uncomfortable fast when deviating into some of the forbidden topics here. Aparently i have a more "splitting" view of the world than most people. Some days I can engage in a more grey manner but most days it's black and white only.

Mental illness is tough, certainly don't know all the answers as this stuff exhausts me beyond the most physical of activities alot of days. I did have a pretty good streak going mar 2021-22 but my depression came back pretty hard around the second anniversary of all this stuff and I haven't quite shaken it yet.

you're not alone and keep up all the good work. I look at everyday as a new canvas at this point, and even with recent setbacks, I reflect now and realize I am doing so much better than I was 2 years ago and thats what the journey is all about. For me once I cut out alcohol and all the prescriptions they had me on and started working out regularly and seeing a therapist I've been much more stable. Haven't been to a mental hospital in rehab in years, and am doing better now financially, in relationships and have a far better trajectory in life going forward as well. Physically, I've never been better, so I can give myself some slack for still being a work in progress. Progress not perfection. I think its when I emphasize too much on perfection that things get really haywire.

If you ever would like to chat feel free to send me a PM

One of the scars on my partially deformed skull I feel almost every day and it sends me right back to that cell...

I flew combat missions over Iraq, but I can say without a doubt you are a far stronger and braver person then I, thank you for sharing your story. Right now I am taking it one day at a time, which is the best method of progressing forward during difficult periods. Congratulations on your emerging from that hell hole you were in and good luck on your continued progress.

[Chiboy]

Wow, I have nothing to add to this discussion, but wish you guys well. That is a heck of a lot to go through. I can't imagine reading about people currying favor with ADs or whatever when you are dealing with some of the stuff mentioned here.

Sorry I can't really add anything of value.

[brandrea]

Originally Posted by Chiboy

Wow, I have nothing to add to this discussion, but wish you guys well. That is a heck of a lot to go through. I can't imagine reading about people currying favor with ADs or whatever when you are dealing with some of the stuff mentioned here.

Sorry I can't really add anything of value.

Well said

My wife worked her entire career in family and children services and was involved in a high level task force on child trafficking. 20 years … took its toll and she finally got out.

No one should be subjected to the things she’s seen for that length of time. It took a toll. It may not be the same thing exactly as what the thread is about, but I guess I can relate to the topic.

Best of luck to you all. Talking about it is very important.

[Atone]

My latest professional certification was in somatic experiencing - a trauma treatment modality created by Peter Levine. In essence it is a physiological approach to nervous system regulation. Both personally and professionally it has changed my life. I’d recommend reading waking the tiger by dr Levine as an introduction to the ideas. Much gratitude to those in here sharing their stories. I hope we one day see a world in which discussion of psychological human suffering isn’t such a no no. Much love to all in dark times. Please talk to someone, anyone and, if appropriate, consult a psychiatrist for evaluation for medication.

[Moondoggy]

Goodness me, I only wish all the best to anyone dealing with challenges like these.

[joeychitwood]

330ci, I’m glad you have emerged from the hell you endured. You mentioned living in the present, and it made me recall a phrase from a Zen Master named Rinzai. He would raise his finger and ask, “What in this moment is lacking?”

For me, the answer to the question is almost always “nothing.” Meditating on the phrase and concentrating on my breathing can refocus my thoughts from anxiety, aimless thinking, anger of fear. I’m not saying it can break a panic attack, but it can interrupt triggers.

[Malum]

Eleven years ago my depression and anxiety became so bad I sought therapy . I was adverse to medication but relented . I am still taking medication , I mostly have good days but occasionally the D&A sneak up on me it is a constant battle . Good Luck , Paul .

[330ci]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

I flew combat missions over Iraq, but I can say without a doubt you are a far stronger and braver person then I, thank you for sharing your story. Right now I am taking it one day at a time, which is the best method of progressing forward during difficult periods. Congratulations on your emerging from that hell hole you were in and good luck on your continued progress.

Trauma is a level playing field, we all had different experiences but the results were the same. I wish you the best on an a brighter path and am so glad you are apart of the community here. May you get that Tesla soon, enjoy many more hikes through the mountains, pilot plenty of fancy drones and get all the new Rolexes you want. The world needs more people like you, and I'm glad to have met your acquaintance on here.

I hope you have an awesome day and to many more

[330ci]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

I flew combat missions over Iraq, but I can say without a doubt you are a far stronger and braver person then I, thank you for sharing your story. Right now I am taking it one day at a time, which is the best method of progressing forward during difficult periods. Congratulations on your emerging from that hell hole you were in and good luck on your continued progress.

Originally Posted by joeychitwood

330ci, I’m glad you have emerged from the hell you endured. You mentioned living in the present, and it made me recall a phrase from a Zen Master named Rinzai. He would raise his finger and ask, “What in this moment is lacking?”

For me, the answer to the question is almost always “nothing.” Meditating on the phrase and concentrating on my breathing can refocus my thoughts from anxiety, aimless thinking, anger of fear. I’m not saying it can break a panic attack, but it can interrupt triggers.

I love it! I'm glad you are emerging well with a new lease on life too. TBI are wild, I still have days where I struggle to access memories that I know are there and it gets kind of frustrating. Personally I haven't spoke with anyone other than my therapist and you guys as I'm kinda ashamed of losing control of my thoughts and the results that happened so this has been rather therapeutic for me to just lay out what I experienced.



"What in this moment is lacking" I'm going to meditate on that one for the day. I keep trying to think of something to say, but as you so eloquently put it... "nothing" comes to mind.

[colpol]

Originally Posted by Moondoggy

Goodness me, I only wish all the best to anyone dealing with challenges like these.

Same here. Makes my problems seem trivial reading some of these stories

[travisb]

I’ve been dealing with panic attacks for years. They’re debilitating. I used to think I was dying before gaining an understanding of what they actually were through consistent work with a psychologist for years. I do have a much better grip on it now. I can completely relate to your feeling on this.

[JasoninDenver]

In my work as a P.I. lawyer I handled horrific cases where my clients were so debilitated by PTSD that some could not even get in a car or leave their homes after their accidents.

20 or so years ago one client did a modality called EMDR through her psychologist. It was stunning too see how effective it was for her. She had been hit head on while driving down a remote northern New Mexico highway. The other driver, who was not belted, flew through his windshield and then her windshield and then bled out on her dashboard while she waited for the rescue crew to cut them both out. For the next year, the only way she could be taken anywhere is with her husband driving them in their rv while she laid on the floor. After 6-8 treatments of EMDR, she was able to ride in a car without the panic attacks and could even drive after several more sessions.

After that, I referred many clients suffering from PTSD out for this therapy. It was extremely effective for many and at least moderately effective for nearly all.

A buddy who had PTSD from his time as a Army surgeon in Iraq got good results as well. Interestingly though, he has been actively dealing with other vets that are using psilocybin therapy for severe PTSD. Don't know anything about this though.

[FTX I]

Psychoanalysis has been doing wonders since the late eighteen hundreds my friend. Best of luck. Cheers.

[flyboyyy]

I know "partly" where you are coming from, and I have a whole new appreciation for those who suffer from full blown PTSD/Anxiety. For me, it was a relatively minor aircraft accident resulting in an amputated finger. I found out months later that the physical part of the whole ordeal was nothing compared to the emotional part and the anxiety that set in as a result. Couple that with the fact that I felt pretty stupid having anxiety over losing only just a finger (but still, it was a body part missing...that I'd had for many decades prior), when people in wars and such deal with so much more. I can't imagine how bad it could be, but I can say from my own "minor" experience it must be hell. I wish everyone the best.

[Wools]

Love how open people are being here, much love to any of you going through any and all (Mental) health issues.

I suffer with anxiety which manefests when I'm feeling stressed or low and makes me doubt my ability or myself, but used to be far worse.

The beginnings for me were when I hit my teenage years and felt very shy around girls and new people. I always got tounge tied and felt I couldn't just strike up conversations so it was far easier for me to not talk. Not the best course of action, looking back! When my Nan died and me and my Mum had to move, I dropped out of College and life tumbled down. Despite these hits, I started work at a local shop and despite doing it for cash it had the unintended benefit; I was forced to talk! Combining that, I started building my career on the side and eventually moved into my dream job 3 years later.

After years of work and doing well, I lost loads of weight, kept doing well at work and from the outside was great. So, why was I still sweating my arse off when a well meaning work friend asked me how my weekend was? I always asumed my weight was the cause of my sweating but the more I looked at my life, I realised that I shunned social engagements, couldn't sit next to people on a bus, actively crossed the road to avoid people and I was now at a healthy weight, so it couldn't be. I eventually talked to my GP and he diagnosed me with social anxiety. Voila, I was cured! However, he suggested I go to a support group run by Mum's once a week in my village and take drugs... Both weren't the best sounding to someone working 5 days a week and 23 years old!

So over the next 4 or so years, I begun to read up online and worked out some ideas to help myself. I begun to listen to relaxing music at work, I started meditation, begun to go on walks and before I knew it I felt calmer. The harder issue was working out why I found it so difficult to talk to people; I would lie lots to make myself sound more intresting, I would almost be holding my breath as I talked to people as I prepared for their questions, each and every conversation I had was exhausting to me. Oddly, I found a solution; My work mates. I used to be so jealous of some artists I used to work with as during their morning Tea and Coffee making, would talk shit about what they got up to at the weekend; From having a leaking tap, to cutting the grass, mundane stuff that they could talk about and the group wouldn't be bored. It was a revelation! I was so obsessed with not boring people, with making out I was better than what I was to make it seem I fitted in, I forgot that people are intrested in what you talk about. I trace this back to my teens where my friends would take the mickey over stuff I said, I was so sensitive, I just closed up... Before I knew it, this deeply held belief I had just freed itself, I could talk!

From that point on, I started listening to Podcasts and paying attention from how people talk to how they breathe, it was like going back to 1st School! I started to talk to friends, open up to work mates, before opening up to my then new girlfriend, now Wife and a transformation occured. I had a voice, it was worth sharing and I could be and act how I wanted. I no longer sweated while talking, no longer forced myself to make elobate lies to pretend I'm more intresting than what I am, no longer got out of breath saying hello. It sounds mad writing this back but it was a bit of a reset in me. Now, I'm frequently told I'm a great listener, get converastions flowing when they're dying, I find it so easy now.

Although the soical anxiety around talking is cured, I still have anxious thoughts and that's what I'm still working on. I went to see a therapist last year and they've been wonderful in helping me re-assess deeply held thoughts and long held viewpoints, fliping them on their head. Out of all my self help paths and attempts to supress my thoughts, I do wish I went to my therapist sooner. However, we sometimes have to walk these paths in order to find the destination.

I think if you're more sensitive, been through trauma or been abused, then deep down your mind thinks you deserve this and as such, retreat. If you are reading this and some parts of this resonate then please ask or seek for help. You don't deserve to feel like this at all, a better life can be had.

[GradyPhilpott]

Originally Posted by flyboyyy

...I felt pretty stupid having anxiety over losing only just a finger....

I don't consider losing a finger to be a minor issue, however, I too had a problem admitting that I was having combat-related problems, even considering the severity of my wounds.

Finally, I had to face the facts and seek help. It's easy to minimize one's own situation, when confronted with how severe some people's experiences are.

[Kowaco]

I saw my dog get hit by a truck. He was braver than me and lived but I’m now a believer in PTSD. I think they call it intrusive thoughts and they definitely can cause anxiety. I haven’t really found anything to relieve it, maybe it was that realization that I have no control over what happens in life.

[TheVTCGuy]

Originally Posted by GradyPhilpott

I don't consider losing a finger to be a minor issue, however, I too had a problem admitting that I was having combat-related problems, even considering the severity of my wounds.

Finally, I had to face the facts and seek help. It's easy to minimize one's own situation, when confronted with how severe some people's experiences are.

I think you hit on a very good point Grady. I get down on myself because I “Shouldn’t” (in italics because my psychiatrist points out how many times I say this word) be having these problems, and I beat myself incessantly about past mistakes; thinking I don’t deserve to be happy. It is a struggle sometimes… but I do accept help and do what I can to get through. My best to all of you that also have difficulties.

[JasoninDenver]

Originally Posted by Wools

I think if you're more sensitive, been through trauma or been abused, then deep down your mind thinks you deserve this and as such, retreat. If you are reading this and some parts of this resonate then please ask or seek for help. You don't deserve to feel like this at all, a better life can be had.

Amen to this brother! It took a existential threat to get me to wake up and realize change was needed for a happy and fulfilling life. Working with a couple of amazing counselors was literally life changing. I am glad to hear you have had a similar awareness.

[cornerstore]

Move to Canada! While some anxiety symptoms and PTSD symptoms clearly overlap, the difference is that with anxiety, the intrusive thoughts, persistent worry, and other difficulties are generally not tied to a specific or past event, whereas in PTSD, they are.

These Percentages of the population with anxiety disorder statistics are interesting . Particularly as the United States has the highest usage of anti-anxiety and PTSD medication. Are we dealing with a chicken or an egg situation? Recent studies indicate many anti anxiety medications create more anxiety than less. That’s not surprising , there’s no money in curing somebody but there’s lots of money in maintaining them. I know it sounds simplistic, after the death of a child and open heart surgery at age 50, I found any time anxiety starts to rear its ugly head I just continually repeat this in my brain until it dissipates. I say to myself every day above ground is a good day! Saying that puts everything into perspective. As the alternative could be worse.


The U.S. leads the world in stress levels. Again in 2019, the Gallup World Emotions Report shows a rise in stress and worry. In fact, worldwide stress levels have reached a new record, with the U.S. leading with some of the highest rates in the world.Apr 26, 2019

Characteristic Men Women
United States 30.7 45.2
China 15.9 28.6
Brazil 14.6 28
India 13.6 18.5
Germany 6.6 9.9
United Kingdom 5 7.2
Mexico 4.5 6.9
France 4.4 6.6
Italy 1.4 4.5
Russia 2.2 3.7
South Africa 2.4 3.5
Spain 1.1 3.4
Japan 1.4 3.1
South Korea 1.1 2.5
Australia 1.4 2.2
Canada 1.1 1.4

[330ci]

Originally Posted by JasoninDenver

A buddy who had PTSD from his time as a Army surgeon in Iraq got good results as well. Interestingly though, he has been actively dealing with other vets that are using psilocybin therapy for severe PTSD. Don't know anything about this though.

I have a friend who's a veteran going through psychedelic therapy(can't remember what one, its not psilocybin but its a research study at the moment that he's apart of) and its like a night and day difference when I see him now. Just so much more animated than he was prior and he can't say enough good things about it. I think we will see alot of new therapies using natural medicine over the next 10 years