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padi56 · 31 October 2012, 04:38 AM

This is funny and wrote by a former Soldier...

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe
letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile..

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them
for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.

Dr. Robert · 31 October 2012, 07:32 AM

Word!

floater156 · 31 October 2012, 07:43 AM

I like that shirt haha

T.S.Eliot · 31 October 2012, 07:43 AM

MonBK · 31 October 2012, 07:44 AM

:)

Rodentman · 31 October 2012, 07:48 AM

I'm over 60. I'll go. One look at my ugly mug and they'll surrender.

FeelingTheBlues · 31 October 2012, 08:18 AM

Sir, yes sir!

Art 1 · 31 October 2012, 08:53 AM

Frosty · 31 October 2012, 09:17 AM

It does not take a lot of strength to use the clacker on a Claymore, and drones, just another video game where you always win and never get off the couch.

Bebot · 31 October 2012, 09:28 AM

Glenn422 · 2 November 2012, 03:09 AM

Haha! :)

77T · 7 November 2012, 01:55 AM

31 October 2012, 04:38 AM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,507	Drafting Guys Over 60 This is funny and wrote by a former Soldier... I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35. For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.. An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch. If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them. HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night! Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it. __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

31 October 2012, 07:32 AM	#2
Dr. Robert 2024 ROLEX DATEJUST41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Real Name: Bob Location: U.S.A. Watch: 1655 Posts: 61,989	Word! __________________ Founder & Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons

31 October 2012, 07:43 AM	#3
floater156 "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Real Name: Chris Location: Wisconsin Watch: Rolex Posts: 2,984	I like that shirt haha __________________ Lead by example through production.

31 October 2012, 07:43 AM	#4
T.S.Eliot "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2011 Real Name: K Location: KSA Watch: aholic Posts: 1,499	__________________ "Phlebas the Phoenician, a fortnight dead, / Forgot the cry of gulls, and the deep seas swell / And the profit and loss. / A current under sea / Picked his bones in whispers. / As he rose and fell / He passed the stages of his age and youth / Entering the whirlpool. / Gentile or Jew / O you who turn the wheel and look to windward, / Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you." Cheers, K

31 October 2012, 08:18 AM	#7
FeelingTheBlues "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Real Name: Carl Location: Always moving Watch: If you wish... Posts: 22,039	Sir, yes sir! __________________ Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin

31 October 2012, 07:44 AM	#5
MonBK Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kingstown Posts: 58,280	:)

31 October 2012, 07:48 AM	#6
Rodentman Banned Join Date: Aug 2005 Real Name: ACCT CLOSED Location: - Posts: 1,497	I'm over 60. I'll go. One look at my ugly mug and they'll surrender.

31 October 2012, 08:53 AM	#8
Art 1 Banned Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florida, Canada Watch: Rol/Seik/Tud/Omega Posts: 30,244

31 October 2012, 09:17 AM	#9
Frosty "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2009 Real Name: Larry Location: So Cal Watch: Rolex GMT 1675 Posts: 5,084	It does not take a lot of strength to use the clacker on a Claymore, and drones, just another video game where you always win and never get off the couch.

31 October 2012, 09:28 AM	#10
Bebot "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Real Name: Emil Location: Bay Area, CA Watch: U macallit Posts: 2,645	__________________ Emil --- __0 __0 __0 ----_-\<,_ -\<, _(_)(_)/_(_)/ (_)

2 November 2012, 03:09 AM	#11
Glenn422 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: TRF Posts: 721	Haha! :)

7 November 2012, 01:55 AM	#12
77T 2024 ROLEX DATEJUST41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Real Name: PaulG Location: Georgia Posts: 41,038	__________________ Does anyone really know what time it is?

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