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Old 8 April 2017, 03:25 AM   #1
JohnBaker3
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British Humor

> The English have such a command of decorum and aplomb to which we can only aspire.
> This message is for my friends who appreciate the finer points of the English language used correctly.

> His Lordship was in the study when the
> butler approached and coughed discreetly."May I ask you a question, My Lord?"

> "Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship.

> "I am doing the crossword in The Times and found a word the exact meaning of which I am not too certain."

> "What word is that?" asked His Lordship.

> "Aplomb," My Lord.

> "Now that's a difficult one to explain. I would say it is self-assurance or complete composure."
>
> "Thank you, My Lord, but I'm still a little confused about it."

> "Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few months ago when the
> Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us?"

> "I remember the occasion very well, My Lord. It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to
> look after them."

> "Also," continued the Earl of Grantham, "do you remember when Wills plucked a rose
> for Kate in the rose garden?"

> "I was present on that occasion, My Lord, ministering to their needs."

> "While Wills was plucking the rose, a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply."

> "I witnessed the incident, My Lord, and saw the Duchess herself remove the thorn and
> bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief."

> "That evening the hole the rose made in his thumb was very sore.
> Kate had to cut his venison for him, even though it was extremely tender."

> "Yes, My Lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening."

> "And do you remember the next morning while you were pouring coffee for Her Ladyship, Kate
> inquired of Wills in a loud voice, 'Darling, does your prick still throb?'

> And you, Carson, did not spill one drop of coffee?''
> That, Carson, is complete composure, or aplomb.”

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Old 8 April 2017, 05:37 AM   #2
BBL
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JohnBaker3
Hahahaa.... good chuckle.
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Old 8 April 2017, 06:31 AM   #3
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Old 8 April 2017, 08:05 AM   #4
cop414
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Classic!
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Old 8 April 2017, 12:52 PM   #5
Hairdude1
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Old 8 April 2017, 04:42 PM   #6
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Old 13 April 2017, 03:10 PM   #7
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Excellent!
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Old 25 May 2017, 12:40 PM   #8
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Good one.
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