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8 April 2017, 03:25 AM | #1 |
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British Humor
> The English have such a command of decorum and aplomb to which we can only aspire.
> This message is for my friends who appreciate the finer points of the English language used correctly. > His Lordship was in the study when the > butler approached and coughed discreetly."May I ask you a question, My Lord?" > "Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship. > "I am doing the crossword in The Times and found a word the exact meaning of which I am not too certain." > "What word is that?" asked His Lordship. > "Aplomb," My Lord. > "Now that's a difficult one to explain. I would say it is self-assurance or complete composure." > > "Thank you, My Lord, but I'm still a little confused about it." > "Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few months ago when the > Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us?" > "I remember the occasion very well, My Lord. It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to > look after them." > "Also," continued the Earl of Grantham, "do you remember when Wills plucked a rose > for Kate in the rose garden?" > "I was present on that occasion, My Lord, ministering to their needs." > "While Wills was plucking the rose, a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply." > "I witnessed the incident, My Lord, and saw the Duchess herself remove the thorn and > bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief." > "That evening the hole the rose made in his thumb was very sore. > Kate had to cut his venison for him, even though it was extremely tender." > "Yes, My Lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening." > "And do you remember the next morning while you were pouring coffee for Her Ladyship, Kate > inquired of Wills in a loud voice, 'Darling, does your prick still throb?' > And you, Carson, did not spill one drop of coffee?'' > That, Carson, is complete composure, or aplomb.”
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8 April 2017, 05:37 AM | #2 |
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JohnBaker3
Hahahaa.... good chuckle.
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8 April 2017, 06:31 AM | #3 |
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8 April 2017, 08:05 AM | #4 |
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Classic!
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8 April 2017, 12:52 PM | #5 |
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8 April 2017, 04:42 PM | #6 |
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13 April 2017, 03:10 PM | #7 |
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Excellent!
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25 May 2017, 12:40 PM | #8 |
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Good one.
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