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Old 22 September 2021, 11:54 AM   #1
1st amg
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My kids now have no grandfathers.

I am sorry to come here and vent or bleed out my emotions once again, but it has become an Avenue for my release of pain due to the majority of very kind and caring trf members.
As many of you know, I lost my father to cancer almost four years ago and struggled with that.
Just today, my father in law in Italy passed away with cancer as well, lymphoma. My wife who is not able to travel due to some recent health issues is tremendously overwhelmed with emotions, most of which are guilt as she is not there with her mother and sisters…..but this time, someone else has made her decision for her…she cannot risk travel and with the on going chaos of COVID, she is left to grieve at home, oceans away.
The kicker, is our kids who are 13 and 11 and both said that they do not have anymore grandfathers left. What a blow that is to hear. I know we are not the first nor the last in this world to deal with this. Thanks for reading folks. Enjoy who you have left.


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Old 22 September 2021, 11:58 AM   #2
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Very sorry for your family's loss. My kids are in the same boat as well from the loss of my father in law a couple years back and my father long before they were born. My sincerest condolences.
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Old 22 September 2021, 12:02 PM   #3
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Im sorry to hear that. Its such a strange thing that the people we come to know the most and who know us most in the world all leave us at some time or another. The loss of parents, in-laws, and in your children case grandparents is exceptionally difficult and are our existential tie to this place and when we lose them, feels...disorienting, profoundly sad, frightening, and 100 other emotions. The grieving process made worse by inability to travel and be together. So sorry.
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Old 22 September 2021, 12:05 PM   #4
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My kids now have no grandfathers.

My Deepest Condolences Nicholas
So sorry to hear about your family’s loss.
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Old 22 September 2021, 12:09 PM   #5
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So sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers for you Nicholas and your family.
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Old 22 September 2021, 12:11 PM   #6
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My sincerest condolences Nicholas, to you and your family.
It’s just awful that your wife has to deal with her grief as well as not being able to say goodbye to her father. Prayers to your family.
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Old 22 September 2021, 12:17 PM   #7
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I’m really sorry to hear this my friend. This must be be so difficult especially for your wife, I can’t even imagine… From my family to yours, we are sending all our love and support.
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Old 22 September 2021, 12:20 PM   #8
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Sorry for your loss -


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Old 22 September 2021, 12:21 PM   #9
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So sorry to hear this. I hope your family is doing ok...I can only imagine what you wife and kids must be going through.
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Old 22 September 2021, 12:30 PM   #10
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Man, sorry to hear. I lost my dad last month to Covid, but he has also fought Lymphoma for 15-20 years. The ups and downs with that were really dramatic. How long did your wife's dad fight it?

I hate to hear it and it does impact harder when you hear it from your kids, but I'm sure you can fill the void and they will be fine. I'm one of the ones you mentioned, I grew up without grandfathers and did ok. Stay positive for them.
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Old 22 September 2021, 12:55 PM   #11
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So sorry Nicholas. Our condolences to you and your family.
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Old 22 September 2021, 01:02 PM   #12
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I’m so sorry to hear about your family’s loss, Nicholas.

Carry on for them and share the experiences you had with them with your kids.
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Old 22 September 2021, 01:15 PM   #13
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My condolences.
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Old 22 September 2021, 01:26 PM   #14
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My sincere condolences to your family.


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Old 22 September 2021, 01:48 PM   #15
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Please accept my condolences to your family.
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Old 22 September 2021, 02:39 PM   #16
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I was very lucky to have as many years as I did with both sets of grandparents. My dad, while a good man, struggled in many ways. It sounds like your kids have a very kind, thoughtful and empathic dad. I’m sorry for your family’s collective loss and they’re all lucky to have someone so tuned into to all of these layers. Condolences to you and yours.
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Old 22 September 2021, 03:32 PM   #17
kieselguhr
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My kids now have no grandfathers.

Sorry to hear about your loss, it must be difficult.
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Old 22 September 2021, 06:50 PM   #18
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I am sorry for your family’s loss.


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Old 22 September 2021, 06:56 PM   #19
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condolences to you and your family.

I think the Baby Boomers have got it pretty bad COVID is taking them out. i hope this virus is destroyed asap
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Old 22 September 2021, 07:07 PM   #20
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Be strong for the kids. That's your part.
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Old 22 September 2021, 07:33 PM   #21
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Very sorry to hear this, Nicholas. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
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Old 22 September 2021, 07:53 PM   #22
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So sorry brother.
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Old 22 September 2021, 08:00 PM   #23
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My condolences and best wishes to you and your family.
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Old 22 September 2021, 08:12 PM   #24
1st amg
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Thank you all for the very kind words, it really does mean a lot. The kids are dealing with it in their own way, our daughter (11yr) is crying everytime she looks at her mommy, my son (13yr) is not showing much, but I can see it in his eyes that he has loads of grief but is not sure how to release it. They are doing the funeral this morning and we are going to have one of her family members live stream it for her. This is one those things that goes with the territory when you marry someone from over seas.
Thank you all again.
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Old 22 September 2021, 09:12 PM   #25
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I am sorry for your families loss. My sincere condolences.
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Old 22 September 2021, 10:47 PM   #26
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Nick, I'm so sorry for your loss. There are never good circumstances surrounding the sudden loss of a family member, but I can see how the current situation globally have made this significantly worse.

Your family will be in my prayers. Be there for your wife the best you can and of course for your kids, which I'm certain you'll do well. Stay strong, and if you ever need to talk you know where to find me.

May he rest in peace.
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Old 22 September 2021, 11:46 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1st amg View Post
Thank you all for the very kind words, it really does mean a lot. The kids are dealing with it in their own way, our daughter (11yr) is crying everytime she looks at her mommy, my son (13yr) is not showing much, but I can see it in his eyes that he has loads of grief but is not sure how to release it. They are doing the funeral this morning and we are going to have one of her family members live stream it for her. This is one those things that goes with the territory when you marry someone from over seas.
Thank you all again.
I work with teens and adolescents in mental health for a living. A few people have said I’m ok at it. I’m going to pm you my number if you’d like to have a chat.
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Old 22 September 2021, 11:52 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atone View Post
I work with teens and adolescents in mental health for a living. A few people have said I’m ok at at. I’m going to pm you my number if you’d like to have a chat.
Very kind gesture - THIS is what the forum is all about.
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Old 23 September 2021, 12:24 AM   #29
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Sorry for your loss.
I remember when I lost my final parent, I am an orphan now. A very strange feeling not to have your parent around. I still think of them all the time and so will you. We learn to put these things in a compartment and I hope only happy thoughts. I sometimes think “what would mom or dad do in this situation”?
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Old 23 September 2021, 03:57 AM   #30
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Very sorry.

I didn’t grow up with grandfathers either, only grandmothers, and one was a very feisty one, both living into their late 80s.

Grandparents are a great addition to parenting by both spoiling and providing wisdom to children, especially when kids start to tune out their parents.

I still remember as a kid when my feisty grandmother always came over for Christmas gift openings and she had boxes off gifts that she’d received from all her friends. She probably had 5 times the gifts we got. That’s always been a sore spot for me. Just not right.
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