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Old 20 February 2020, 01:46 PM   #61
kieselguhr
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Wedding Budget

Holy Toledo!! Some of these wedding costs sure are exorbitant.

We invited closest family and friends only. 30 people total. We got married in Playa Del Carmen Mexico. The wedding itself was $12,500 and 8 hours photography and video was $$5,000. Flights were $4,000 (for me and wife). Our 7 night stay at the resort was comped.

By comparison, doing it locally in Vegas was going to cost us $20,000 for venue and catering. $8,000 for photography only. Room costs for our guests flying in from out of state would have been in the $400+ per night at the strip and $300+ off the strip. Their airfare to Vegas would have been comparable to the airfare to Mexico.

It was kind of a no brainer. Everyone had a blast as it was kind of a vacation.
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Old 20 February 2020, 01:48 PM   #62
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When I got married it cost 7 figures, paid by the father of the bride. Now single, and if I do get married again, I'd pay myself and cap costs at 50k

In SF area I think 50K for 250 people is reasonable. But the budget should be an amount that doesn't hold you guys back in the future. Hope it goes well
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Old 20 February 2020, 01:50 PM   #63
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I remember we planned for 150 guests but ended up with 220 from the nagging of both of our parents. I don't remember how much exactly we spent (23 years ago) but it was fun, specially the planning stage. But now I realize the wedding rites would not play significant role in your marriage over time.

So if you ask me, I'll go for small and intimate wedding but I get it why people opt for a grandeur one as its like a fairy tale.
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Old 20 February 2020, 02:02 PM   #64
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100-125k should be amazing for your size, was for us anyhow. Still get the “ you had the best wedding “ in many variations from many different guests. Best day of my life tied with my sons birth!
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Old 20 February 2020, 02:09 PM   #65
JasoninDenver
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Spent $25k for 120 guests at the Mary Jane ski area base lodge in Winter Park Colorado. The fancy mountain top lodge would have been $50k and my wife said no thanks. Every time I ski, I smile to think I got married in what is now the lift line.

Vail would have been $50k for bare bones. Ironically, when I called to price a potential “family reunion” event at the same facilities and exact same menu and same exact date that my wife priced for a “wedding”, we were quoted only $25k by the event manager. Gouging. Plain and simple.
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Old 21 February 2020, 12:36 AM   #66
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Not to steer this topic away, but I recently through a surprise 60th Birthday party for my bride of 3 1/2 decades, it ran just a bit over 18k. The venue was at a local museum, with their caterer, hired a band, open bar, flowers, etc.

Heck, I'd be lucky to gather enough friends for a poker game, but my wife had 85 close friends and family attend.

I earned some serious points!
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Old 21 February 2020, 12:36 AM   #67
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Spent $25k for 120 guests at the Mary Jane ski area base lodge in Winter Park Colorado. The fancy mountain top lodge would have been $50k and my wife said no thanks. Every time I ski, I smile to think I got married in what is now the lift line.

Vail would have been $50k for bare bones. Ironically, when I called to price a potential “family reunion” event at the same facilities and exact same menu and same exact date that my wife priced for a “wedding”, we were quoted only $25k by the event manager. Gouging. Plain and simple.
i agree some of this is plain gouging. yet some venues don't want weddings at all. far too common now that guest get belligerently drunk, fight, or destroy property
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Old 21 February 2020, 01:49 AM   #68
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Dang prices have crept up. My wife and I have been married 10 years, and it cost around $25K all in for about 100 guests. We both come from middle class families and at the time weren't making much in our careers, so that was a lot of money. We priced out a wedding in downtown Chicago and knew that wasn't going to happen, so we found a much more reasonable venue away from downtown. We were at a stage in life where our friends were at a similar station so nobody was "expecting" anything fancy. We had the absolute BEST time with family and friends. Such a good time in fact that we want to throw the same party to celebrate our anniversary, but without the hassle of the marriage part. All of the best people were there and we had total control over the musical selection.

You're in a bit of a pickle if your parents are driving the guest list, so it's only fair to bring them into the financials as well after you price things out. In retrospect the photos are such an important part of the day and I wish we had a better photographer. At the time we didn't hire a videographer, but now I wish we did, if anything just to have documented the speeches made by the parents, best man, and maid of honor. Beyond that, great food and access to booze was important. My personal feeling is that if your guests are all well off, they can afford to use a cash bar for mixed drinks, you cover the champagne, wine and beer. Open bar is ridiculously expensive. If your church (if it's a church wedding) and reception venue is more than a walk from the rooms, I'd advise setting up transport for guests. We did that and it was a big hit, people could just let loose and relax the whole time. For music, we were happy with a DJ. For flowers, we found a little Polish shop that did a fantastic job.

Last thing, we were pre- social media so it wasn't a thing, but my sister was married more recently and requested that nobody post photos or video from the wedding. The quality of images and video most people take sucks, and she wanted to put her own stuff up for others to share once the photographers and video folks sent some initial work she could filter through.

Regardless, it will fly by, have fun and best of luck to you and your bride to be on this wonderful journey
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Old 21 February 2020, 01:52 AM   #69
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We got married here in Temecula:

https://villadeamore.com/

I know you said close to water, but this is an hour and change inland and is located in SoCal's wine country. You'll definitely save over the prices in LA / San Diego, and it is generally all-inclusive.

We got married in 2013, and it's amazing to see how much prices have skyrocketed. Having said that, Villa de Amore is still a steal when compared to other venues (don't even think about La Jolla or SM!).
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Old 21 February 2020, 01:55 AM   #70
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First marriage: her parents paid for 250 guests. I have no idea what it cost but the FIL really wanted to impress his relatives. I'm guessing he spend about $100K+

Second marriage: we rented out a really nice restaurant on a Saturday afternoon, invited 60 close friends and family. Cost about $20K

Pro-tip: don't invite cheap people who give shitty presents lol
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Old 21 February 2020, 02:23 AM   #71
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Just a word of warning;

If her parents spend all their savings on the wedding, you can probably expect them to come and live with you in a few years.
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Old 21 February 2020, 02:34 AM   #72
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Well the vows says for better or for worse, so be ready to endure the bad vibes whenever and however it comes...
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Old 21 February 2020, 11:32 AM   #73
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the smaller the better. make it family and a few closest friends. Something intimate and meaningful. Save the grand gestures for anniversaries and the like.
We did this....just told everyone to meet us in Vegas for a great dinner. Parents, siblings and best friends. We ended up with 16 people total, in a private room, right on the strip. It was stress free and looking back, perfect. We sort of want to do the whole thing again soon....just because it was so fun. Bonus....all in price, just under 3,500 for stay, food, dress, drinks, and gifts.
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Old 21 February 2020, 01:40 PM   #74
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Send 225 open invites for poolside at the MGM Las Vegas then hit the buffet.

Congrats and you’re welcome.
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Old 21 February 2020, 01:43 PM   #75
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Sounds like you’ll be spending a bundle haha

We kept it small. Already owned our house outright but it didn’t make sense and to be honest we don’t even like 200 people.
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Old 21 February 2020, 01:43 PM   #76
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Send 225 open invites for poolside at the MGM Las Vegas then hit the buffet.

Congrats and you’re welcome.
Genius lol
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Old 21 February 2020, 11:28 PM   #77
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We just recently had a 200+ wedding in NYC and things can get quite expensive. With a large amount of family members and friends I understand that it can be quite hard to cut down the guest list. I always preferred though myself to have a smaller more intimate gathering. Like others said at the end of the day it’s just one day. It’s hard to justify spending all that money for something to come and go so quickly.
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Old 21 February 2020, 11:34 PM   #78
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Have been to weddings in Vegas (including my own of course LOL), and those that EASILY were more than $250,000. After attending MANY weddings over the decades, it seems to me the more you spend and the more intricate the wedding, the shorter the marriage lasts. JMHO
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Old 22 February 2020, 07:33 AM   #79
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After 15 years, finally married my long time GF over the summer. We live in the Bay Area. Did the wedding in our backyard. Provided beer and wine and catering for about 100 people. It cost about 3k and everyone had a great time. The 16570 I wore cost more then the wedding.


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Old 22 February 2020, 07:55 AM   #80
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It's not really what you wanna hear, but if it was me, I'd consider buying a used Aston Martin convertible, and take a year exploring the National Parks of the American West. Upon your return, if she's still down to get married, sell the car and pay for the wedding with the proceeds.
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Old 22 February 2020, 01:02 PM   #81
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My wife and I started to plan a big wedding and bailed on it for a destination wedding in St. Thomas. Not to be cynical, but after a couple weeks of planning it just seemed absurd to spend $40K+ on a big party that’s over in a few hours, which is all the reception is.

Destination wedding was about $15K all in, and that included the honeymoon which we did in St. Thomas as well. I mean why not? It’s beautiful. Immediate family and some close friends came, it was perfect. If I could go back in time I’d do it this way again.
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Old 22 February 2020, 01:43 PM   #82
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Women dream of the day their whole lives. My FIL offered us a check or a wedding. Wife wanted her day and it truly was a memorable occasion. However, my practical side couldn’t overlook how far that would have gone as we were starting our lives together. It’s only one day and you go to so many during that stage of your life they blend together. So my advice would be your friends and family make the day special, not the flowers, video, cake, dress, etc. We have watched the video one time and looked at the pics a couple times. Don’t put yourself behind for one day that will be forgotten by most.
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Old 22 February 2020, 01:44 PM   #83
enjoythemusic
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It's not really what you wanna hear, but if it was me, I'd consider buying a used Aston Martin convertible, and take a year exploring the National Parks of the American West. Upon your return, if she's still down to get married, sell the car and pay for the wedding with the proceeds.
^^^ this, minus the selling of the car of course.
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Old 22 February 2020, 02:52 PM   #84
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Married 27+ years so far. Our wedding budget was $6,000. There were 125 guests invited. The honeymoon to Sandals Montego Bay was ~$2,000.
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Old 23 February 2020, 02:22 AM   #85
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Women dream of the day their whole lives.
Buy them the book, The Cinderella Complex and convince her to elope and marry on a vacation.

Luckily my two marriages I never did the wedding thing. I photographed a ton of them and invited my soon to be wives to "help me out" on a few of them.

After that, they didn't need any convincing to spend the money in a more enjoyable fashion.

I hear ya, they're often brainwashed about the "special day" thing but my god the money spent for so little benefit. And you add in the fact that they only last 50% of the time.
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Old 23 February 2020, 03:48 AM   #86
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My wife and I have been married for 1 amazing years and have 4 wonderful children. My wife is an amazing planner and we had roughly 150 people. The total cost was right around $10k. We did a hotel ballroom reception with all the normal stuff. We saved money by going DJ vs. live band and buffet vs. sit down dinner. It was just one big informal party.
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Old 23 February 2020, 11:17 PM   #87
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My (2nd) wedding (and her first) was very small – me and the wife our best friend and his wife.
Done as a civil ceremony at Chelsea Old Town Hall, London – then out for drinks and a fine meal.

A few days later we celebrated our marriage with friends and family by booking the local wine bar for an all day/night session with buffet food. We had a great time.

I have two daughters and hope they chose a small affair if they ever decide to get married – I would far rather gift them money to do with it as they please than waste it on a wedding
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Old 23 February 2020, 11:55 PM   #88
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I just got engaged and we are starting to look at venues. I knew weddings were expensive and had mentally prepared myself for the price creep of a wedding, but some of the prices I'm seeing are still giving me a little bit of sticker shock.

The statistics that are out there for average cost of a wedding don't seem indicative of the total price in a high cost area for a large wedding. So I figured I would turn to the forum full of individuals with refined tastes: How much should I budget for a wedding?

We are expecting 200-250 guests (could try to limit to 200)
Location will be in California (likely Southern California), preferably close to the water

) Weddings are NOT expensive.

) Impressing society IS expensive.

) Being a victim of the above, guarantees servitude to such.
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Old 25 February 2020, 12:32 AM   #89
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Oh I didn’t see refined taste-your looking at 200k in New Jersey for what I would consider mid high end

here is how some pricing could shake out here on East coast

Photo 12k
Video 5k
450 a head plate
10 entertainment- double or triple for good band
2k transport
15k florals

That’s 150 right there

steve
What an absolute WASTE of money.
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Old 25 February 2020, 03:02 AM   #90
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As in many “life experience” events, much can be spent without really enhancing the good memories. In some cultures, couples are brainwashed about the "special day".

But the thing about the great volume of money spent? Often there is little benefit. People without the means to splurge have just as many fond memories without the $Thousands others play.

The fond memories are more often shaped by the decades of wedded bliss that follow the special day. Half the time marriages end with divorce. Both parties quickly lose wedding memories in a flood of other emotions surrounding the divorce.


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