ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

Sperry · 31 March 2017, 12:01 PM

A guy from health department was inspecting a restaurant. The cook, a fat guy wearing a 'wife beater' shirt, was making hamburgers. He would roll up a ball of meat, stick it into his armpit, squeeze it, and then throw it onto the grill.

"That's the nastiest thing I've ever seen", said the inspector.

"That ain't nuffin'", said the guy, "Come back in the morning when I'm making donuts."

Psmith · 31 March 2017, 01:26 PM

BBL · 31 March 2017, 01:42 PM

Ooooohhhhhh Nnnnooooo!!

BNA/LION · 31 March 2017, 01:49 PM

swatty · 31 March 2017, 07:34 PM

MonBK · 31 March 2017, 08:34 PM

:)

Sperry · 1 April 2017, 07:16 AM

A guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.

He guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it.

He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"

"Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money..."

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. "What are the three tests?"

"Pay first. Those are the rules," says the bartender. So the man gives him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

"O.K.," the bartender says. "Here's what you need to do:

First, you have to drink an entire gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing, all at once and you can't make a face while doing it.

Second, there is pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.

Third, there's a 90 year old woman upstairs who has never reached orgasm during intercourse. You've got to make things right for her."

The man is stunned. "I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then do those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but your money stays where it is."

As time goes on the man has a few drinks, then a few more, and he asks, "Where's zat tequila?"

He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a few big slurps. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.

Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy scuffle going on outside.

They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then silence.

Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over his body.

"NOW," he says, "Where's the old woman with the sore tooth?"

cop414 · 1 April 2017, 09:11 PM

Hairdude1 · 4 April 2017, 10:07 AM

SemperFi · 5 April 2017, 02:24 AM

mary006 · 5 April 2017, 08:41 AM

:chuc kle:

bdex75 · 5 April 2017, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sperry

A guy from health department was inspecting a restaurant. The cook, a fat guy wearing a 'wife beater' shirt, was making hamburgers. He would roll up a ball of meat, stick it into his armpit, squeeze it, and then throw it onto the grill.

"That's the nastiest thing I've ever seen", said the inspector.

"That ain't nuffin'", said the guy, "Come back in the morning when I'm making donuts."

Ha. Definitely don't order a glazed one.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Rebel · 5 April 2017, 09:18 AM

These hurt.

Jmas · 6 April 2017, 07:17 AM

These are hilarious

Relyt · 8 April 2017, 08:57 AM

Ha ha ha. I think I threw up in my mouth.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

Sperry · 19 June 2017, 10:28 AM

I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

31 March 2017, 12:01 PM	#1
Sperry "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Jim Location: Alpha Posts: 3,383	A guy from health department was inspecting a restaurant ... A guy from health department was inspecting a restaurant. The cook, a fat guy wearing a 'wife beater' shirt, was making hamburgers. He would roll up a ball of meat, stick it into his armpit, squeeze it, and then throw it onto the grill. "That's the nastiest thing I've ever seen", said the inspector. "That ain't nuffin'", said the guy, "Come back in the morning when I'm making donuts."

31 March 2017, 01:26 PM	#2
Psmith "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Real Name: Clive Location: Exoplanet Watch: spring-driven Posts: 38,856	__________________

31 March 2017, 01:49 PM	#4
BNA/LION 2024 ROLEX DATEJUST41 Pledge Member Join Date: May 2011 Real Name: Larry Location: San Diego, CA Watch: ROLEX Posts: 25,191	__________________ ✦ 28238 President DD 18K/YG ✦ 16610LN SS Sub ✦ 16613 18K/SS Serti ✦ 16550 Exp II Non-Rail Cream Dial ✦ Daytona C 116500 ✦ 126710 BLRO GMT-Master II ✦ NEXT-->? ⛳ Hole In One! 10/3/19 DMCC 5th hole, par 3, 168 yards w/ 4-Iron.

31 March 2017, 07:34 PM	#5
swatty "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Real Name: Peter Location: Sydney Watch: The Game Posts: 17,404	__________________ 5513, 7928, 1601(gifted to my daughter), 16610LV, 14060, 16610(Random serial),116610, ,79280P, 70330, 25600TB, 792500BM, M56000, 79030B, 25707B/21 (won this special watch),

1 April 2017, 09:11 PM	#8
cop414 TRF Moderator & 2024 DATE-JUST41 Patron Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Tim Location: Pennsylvania Watch: 14060M Posts: 71,824	__________________ Rolex Submariner 14060M Omega Seamaster 2254.50 DOXA Professional 1200T Card carrying member of TRF's Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons TRF's "After Dark" Bar & NightClub Patron P Club Member #17 2 FA ENABLED

31 March 2017, 01:42 PM	#3
BBL "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2015 Real Name: DM Location: USA Watch: DD-YG/DJ/Breitling Posts: 8,795	Ooooohhhhhh Nnnnooooo!!

31 March 2017, 08:34 PM	#6
MonBK Banned Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Kingstown Posts: 58,281	:)

1 April 2017, 07:16 AM	#7
Sperry "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Jim Location: Alpha Posts: 3,383	A guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?" "Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money..." The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. "What are the three tests?" "Pay first. Those are the rules," says the bartender. So the man gives him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar. "O.K.," the bartender says. "Here's what you need to do: First, you have to drink an entire gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing, all at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there is pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there's a 90 year old woman upstairs who has never reached orgasm during intercourse. You've got to make things right for her." The man is stunned. "I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then do those other things!" "Your call," says the bartender, "but your money stays where it is." As time goes on the man has a few drinks, then a few more, and he asks, "Where's zat tequila?" He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a few big slurps. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy scuffle going on outside. They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then silence. Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over his body. "NOW," he says, "Where's the old woman with the sore tooth?"

4 April 2017, 10:07 AM	#9
Hairdude1 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Real Name: Alex Location: Chicago Watch: AP,PP, Rolex Posts: 37,156	__________________ Instagram: @Hairdude Watches in Collection 5070R, 5522A, 214270 MK1, 228238 16750, 26401, 5711, 116718, 116710LN, 116300, 16710"Coke", 372, 15300, 15703 (All Flipped) Official Member "Perpetual 30" Las Vegas GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member 'WIS-CON' Las Vegas Int'l GTG 2018

5 April 2017, 02:24 AM	#10
SemperFi "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Real Name: Angelo Location: Brooklyn, NY Watch: Rolex Submariner Posts: 42,164	__________________ Rolex Submariner Omega Seamaster Aqua Terra Tudor Black Bay 58 Blue Tudor Ranger 79910 Nomos Club Datum 733 Nomos Metro 38 Stowa Flieger Classic 40 * Card carrying member of TRF's Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons *

5 April 2017, 08:41 AM	#11
mary006 Banned Join Date: Apr 2016 Real Name: Mary Location: US Watch: Daytona Posts: 50	:chuc kle:

5 April 2017, 09:18 AM	#13
Rebel "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Real Name: Dr Mark R Nail Location: New Albany Watch: Tudor Sub 75090 Posts: 8,055	These hurt. __________________ ------------------------------- Member of the Nylon Nation

6 April 2017, 07:17 AM	#14
Jmas "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2016 Real Name: J Location: USA Posts: 87	These are hilarious

8 April 2017, 08:57 AM	#15
Relyt "TRF" Member Join Date: Jun 2015 Real Name: Tye Location: Eastern US Watch: Rolex Explorer ii Posts: 1,464	Ha ha ha. I think I threw up in my mouth. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro __________________ ~NEVER GIVE UP! 2005 Explorer ii 16570T

19 June 2017, 10:28 AM	#16
Sperry "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Real Name: Jim Location: Alpha Posts: 3,383	I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started.....

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode