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Old 21 August 2019, 01:37 AM   #1
gmh1013
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My "experience" with senior online dating

First i never went out on a date. That said i saw this senior 55+ site and thought its been close to 30 years since i went out on a date...so i wanted to see how was it done in internet age. Its only been 15 months since my wife died and i was looking for a friend more than dating. The price was 47.99 for 6 months...so what heck...lets see what happens but i dont expect much.

I filled out all the crap and one question was name 3 things you would never part with ....I put my cats...my Rolex Exp 1 my wife gave me for 55 B-day and some trophies i won racing motorcycles....later on i would delete the Rolex....to many gold diggers.
The first 3 months i got zero...not even a smiley face.
Month 4 2 smiley faces....i sent then back a smiley face....no reply.
Month 5 3 smiley faces.....I sent 3 back and the next day i get you have a message....wow....my first message...from Georgette a RN in Houston....62 years old .....no Mahira Khan....but im no Brad Pitt so...she was the first to write a "message" how we have 3 things in common....like Coffee, cats and Mustangs etc.....we exchange messages over the next few days then she comments on a question about "things im thankful for" I had put down
Im still alive....I was married for 24 wonderful years to my wife before she died and my cats.
SHe commments about my putting down i was married for 24 years and my wife was dead and i need to move on. hmmmm that did not set well with me after only 5 days or so of exchanging small talk....so i sent her back
"Thank you for your time and i wish the the best "
I have about 4 weeks left out of 6 months and they sent me stuff daily trying to get me to waste another 50 bucks.....nope not worth it.
My final one was a woman from San Antonio....which is way way to far away,
She sends me messages wanting to help me which sends up all sorts of red flags to me...no way im giving out phone or address to somebody i met on the net.
She keeps pushing so after 6 days i sent her "Thanks you for your time etc."
What it tells me is first lots more women in the 55 and over than men......and
most seem "desperate" and get mad if you want to move slow.
I did not have very good experience with it and dont think i would ever use it again....but for some it might work fine for them.....like i said i was not trying to date but to see how it works and whats out there.
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Old 21 August 2019, 01:44 AM   #2
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Been there, done that.....I am not a fan of internet dating. I’ve had better experiences with the Sierra Club singles hikes!
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Old 21 August 2019, 01:51 AM   #3
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Doesn't sound too different from most other online dating services.

You just never know what the person on the other end of the device is really thinking or what their motivations are. I would imagine it being harder as you get older because even in my late 30s I'm pretty set in the way I am. I'm way less flexible now than when I was in my 20s.

I didn't have a great experience overall, but I did meet my wife through one of these apps. 6 months isn't too bad. It's easy to get frustrated at the start because I think a lot of people assume they will immediately get tons of interest. I think I was using these services for maybe 1.5 years. I got a fairly decent amount of interest, but I'm too picky so I only spoke to maybe 5-10% of the women who "liked" me.

Happily married now so I guess I can't complain too much.
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Old 21 August 2019, 01:52 AM   #4
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So, so glad I found my wife in “real time” vs. internet.
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Old 21 August 2019, 01:57 AM   #5
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I'm in my late 20's. I tend to get a lot of matches on dating apps, but I quit a few months ago. Some issues I see:

-- very attractive, young, educated, employed women are usually not single
-- when they are single, it's often for good reason
-- many of these women are extremely entitled
-- many are way too competitive and egoistic; they can't bear any sense that I disagree with them
-- as a result of above, I generally break things off with them fairly quickly
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Old 21 August 2019, 01:57 AM   #6
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Yeah, I met my wife the old-fashioned way--in a bar.
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Old 21 August 2019, 02:08 AM   #7
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Im almost 62 and what really surprised me was the few i did exchange small talk were so aggressive and pushy and wanting to move so fast....really took me by surprise.
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Old 21 August 2019, 02:15 AM   #8
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Quote:
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me is first lots more women in the 55 and over than men......and
most seem "desperate" and get mad if you want to move slow.
I'm sorry to hear about this negative experience. I know these things too well myself from experience and the aforementioned seems universal.

Having a friend can really be helpful and I hope you're able to get at least that soon.
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Old 21 August 2019, 02:26 AM   #9
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I'm sorry to hear about this negative experience. I know these things too well myself from experience and the aforementioned seems universal.

Having a friend can really be helpful and I hope you're able to get at least that soon.
Oh no....not that bad....im a member in a Mustang car club....chess club and a cigar smokers club....these are mostly all men...and the women that do show up ....show up with husbands or boyfriends etc.
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Old 21 August 2019, 02:49 AM   #10
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I'm getting deja vu on this thread.

Something about sugar daddies or something.
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Old 21 August 2019, 03:58 AM   #11
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Hi Greg, it sounds like you didn’t jump in all the way, which I totally understand. Also, up front, I have no experience with this as I’m still married and have been 31yrs. But when you say you filled in their ‘crap’ it makes me wonder if you filled in the minimum and expected good results.

Maybe you should be more open about who you are and what you are looking for. Put it into a story sort of as if you were introducing a friend of yours to a group of eligible ladies. Explain what you are looking for and what you want out of the relationship.

Maybe update your profile and see what you get. Maybe not mention the cats up front : )

I’m not sure what is meant by ‘too fast’ since you did not physically meet anyone yet. If she knows who you are and knows what you want I would think you would want to talk right away to hear her voice and get a feel for her. And on that call you would mainly be setting up a face to face. Unless you are looking for someone who will remain anonymous like here on the forum, but does not sound like much of a relationship starter.

If you do not want to use your real email and phone number set up a new google email and a google phone number. Have them forward to your real number/email and if things get weird before you meet then you dump the number and or email.

As far as a sugar daddy goes, I would expect to be paying for drinks, dinner, movies, show, whatever, as that’s what I’m used to and do not see a reason to change it up. No moving in or paying someone else’s bills, but that would be explained up front in your profile by stating something like ‘I want to meet a confident mature woman who is financially independent and wants to spend time as friends doing friend things and see where it goes from there’

I’m sure you’re a great guy and a great catch. Let the ladies know that and I am sure you will get more that a few winks (at least I hope so). Again, I have no experience here so I am probably way off base.

Good luck my friend!
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Old 21 August 2019, 04:05 AM   #12
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Glad you're taking it slow Greg and are suspicious of the people and their intent, couldn't be better way to approach this kind of thing, and is really the bare minimum when it comes to talking to anyone over the net 100s of miles away, you have the right attitude!!
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Old 21 August 2019, 04:32 AM   #13
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As a (now) 57 year old, my experience in the last ten years is just the opposite ! It’s like shopping on Amazon versus spending the day driving around to stores. I’m always extremely open as to just wanting to hang out and enjoy commonalities, that’s it ! Sorting through the entitlement issues creates the greatest challenge, but since I have no plans for creating a relationship, it’s no problem to bail. It seems the number of desperate prospects over 50 are many and readily available.

BTW, if I read a profile that mentions a past relationship of any kind, and in any manner, I move on instantly because they’re not ready to date.


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Old 21 August 2019, 04:32 AM   #14
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Glad you're taking it slow Greg and are suspicious of the people and their intent, couldn't be better way to approach this kind of thing, and is really the bare minimum when it comes to talking to anyone over the net 100s of miles away, you have the right attitude!!
Agree with Marc 110%.

Absolutely take your time. If potentially a good fit, both parties will be comfortable progressing the relationship at the same pace. Rely on your common sense, and exercise the necessary level of discretion.
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Old 21 August 2019, 05:07 AM   #15
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A buddy of mine who's in his early 60's says it's like a candy store out there (and he's no Tyrone Power). Perhaps your online profile needs to be jazzed up. Hope you find someone you enjoy spending time with.
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Old 21 August 2019, 05:18 AM   #16
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It may also have something to do with the site you’re using.

Some are more geared toward “hooking up” vs those who are looking for serious relationships
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Old 21 August 2019, 05:23 AM   #17
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You are better off alone with great memories, than to lower yourself to some of these dates.
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Old 21 August 2019, 05:35 AM   #18
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A buddy of mine who's in his early 60's says it's like a candy store out there (and he's no Tyrone Power). Perhaps your online profile needs to be jazzed up. Hope you find someone you enjoy spending time with.
Tyrone Power????

How old are you???

I'm betting not many people remember him around here. Or maybe they do.
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Old 21 August 2019, 05:41 AM   #19
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Tyrone Power????

How old are you???

I'm betting not many people remember him around here. Or maybe they do.
I had to look him up. Never heard of him before, and I’m not opposed to watching old movies on occasion. And just for reference purposes, I’m 63.
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Old 21 August 2019, 06:06 AM   #20
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I always had better luck meeting someone in person at a place that people with common interests are likely to gather (bookstore, bike shop, etc...). I did try Match for a few months before meeting my wife at a grocery store. I ended up dating one wonderful woman for a few months but she and I were both up front about coming out of mutual divorces and not wanting to rush anything. However, when I met my wife, I knew she was the one for me. Feel even more so after 12 years.
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Old 21 August 2019, 06:35 AM   #21
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It may also have something to do with the site you’re using.

Some are more geared toward “hooking up” vs those who are looking for serious relationships
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BTW, if I read a profile that mentions a past relationship of any kind, and in any manner, I move on instantly because they’re not ready to date.


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Old 21 August 2019, 06:45 AM   #22
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You are better off alone with great memories, than to lower yourself to some of these dates.
Well said!
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Old 21 August 2019, 06:59 AM   #23
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A buddy of mine who's in his early 60's says it's like a candy store out there
Concur !
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Old 21 August 2019, 07:17 AM   #24
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i am coming up to 52, in not bad shape, got my hair, reasonable looking, over 6ft,

i have had many years of female aggro,(not saying i was blameless though) and many years of frustration, i.e when you are young you never get the bird you really want etc, i have had women cheat on me, lie and play games, same happened to both my brothers.

Do i really want to go back into the market? Answer is no.

Who could i reasonably expect to get? What i really want?, or do i settle?

I notice the the physical urge dropping off quite rapidly nowadays, quite frankly its a bloody relief,

I like the peace and quiet of life, i aint signing up to no more drama and i aint going to be someones meal ticket.

But good luck to those that use dating sites.
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Old 21 August 2019, 07:20 AM   #25
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Tyrone Power????

How old are you???

I'm betting not many people remember him around here. Or maybe they do.
Wife and I are old movie buffs. Of course we know him. Great actor. Good looks. Died young.
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Old 21 August 2019, 07:29 AM   #26
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Greg, first, I applaud you for getting out there and hope you find a nice woman (or man if you happen to go that way) to share life with, have fun, and enjoy a true partner.


Second, if you ever want to feel good about your dating life just ask me about mine...
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Old 21 August 2019, 07:31 AM   #27
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Never say never but i doubt i will ever use a "over 55" dating website again....i did learn that the way it looks is lots of women out there that seem "hard up"? I remember a movie in the 80 with Sally Fields and James Garner who was like 62 in the film after Sally Fields who suppose to be about 34....cant blame him. One of his lines was he was like catnip to the older ladies....because he was the only single man over 60 in town....and had dates everynight.
When i was younger... back early 1990's before i met Delia my golden rule was NO KIDS....the kids are going to hate you plus ex husbands coming around.I went out with 2 women who failed to mention they have 2 kids at home....onetime the baby sitter called that the kid was sick....and to come home. I had to drive her for 20 mins while she cried and was yelling at me how its so unfair men can dump women just because they have kids
etc. I felt bad but told her she should look for a guy with kids and not somebody like me. Delia had kids but they were all grown and the youngest was a senior in high school when we met about to graduate.
One of the women asked me how i felt about grandkids? lady i never kids....only cats.
I went to lunch today with a guy who is in my chess club.....and i was telling him about my 6 months online dating experience.
He said think about.....you have no kids, no living relatives, own your
on home, have a brand new SUV, to some of these women you are a jackpot.
Somebody pointed out that i should have put down looking for somebody financially stable...cut down on the gold diggers.
I was t
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Old 21 August 2019, 07:42 AM   #28
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i am coming up to 52, in not bad shape, got my hair, reasonable looking, over 6ft,

i have had many years of female aggro,(not saying i was blameless though) and many years of frustration, i.e when you are young you never get the bird you really want etc, i have had women cheat on me, lie and play games, same happened to both my brothers.

Do i really want to go back into the market? Answer is no.

Who could i reasonably expect to get? What i really want?, or do i settle?

I notice the the physical urge dropping off quite rapidly nowadays, quite frankly its a bloody relief,

I like the peace and quiet of life, i aint signing up to no more drama and i aint going to be someones meal ticket.

But good luck to those that use dating sites.
52 wait till you hit 62 .....I cant blame you......I also noticed all the women want to get hitched again and i dont want to...no way im giving half of my money and house and stocks away if they decide they want a divorce one day.
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Old 21 August 2019, 07:44 AM   #29
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Oh no....not that bad....im a member in a Mustang car club....chess club and a cigar smokers club....these are mostly all men...and the women that do show up ....show up with husbands or boyfriends etc.
I completely understand and have heard you mention some of the club's you're in before. Albeit great, it's not the same as female companionship at the end of the day.
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Old 21 August 2019, 07:46 AM   #30
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Greg, first, I applaud you for getting out there and hope you find a nice woman (or man if you happen to go that way) to share life with, have fun, and enjoy a true partner.


Second, if you ever want to feel good about your dating life just ask me about mine...
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