Anyone Feel Gulity About Spending Money?

[WhiteRhino]

I know this may not be the right forum for this question, but hear me out.
Curious if this is somewhat normal or I'm crazy (or crazier then I thought). I grew up pretty broke. Now that I make well into 6 figures I feel guilty about spending it. I feel this weird need to save it all. I'm 50 and single. My kids are grown and gone. I live in a cheap crappy apt and drive a 18 year old truck. I can afford to get a new vehicle and a better place but you guessed it...i feel guilty. I'd like to go on a solo vacation, but always seem to find an excuse not to spend the cash. I'm starting to realize this is silly because I cant take it with me. I'd also add that I have zero debt and a good savings on top of nice salary. I did come into a nice chunk of unexpected money a few years ago and that's when I bought my one and only Rolex (SD43). Anyone other nut jobs like me?

[JSolution]

Yep :) I HATE spending money that’s why I prefer watches to cars haha

[Rad22]

I do not feel guilty. One life to live. Enjoy it! Obviously not living a reckless life style.

I had an experience a few years back where I lost several family members to a drunk driver. Put things in perspective on constantly delaying gratification. Enjoy the vacation, enjoy the watch, enjoy the car, enjoy your life. Tomorrow isn’t promised


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[Giovannibravo]

As long as I am living within my means I am happy.

[dddrees]

Personally I don’t enjoy doing things that make me feel bad. So no if I chose to spend money on something I don’t feel guilty. I did it because I wanted to. If it makes you feel bad then don’t do it. It’s your money.

[kieselguhr]

I am averse to spending money irresponsibly, i.e. spending beyond my means (i would totally feel guilty doing it). But if the expenditure is covered and within my means then it doesn’t bother me.

[piratfisk]

You'll have to learn to navigate your own relationship with money. We all come from varied financial backgrounds/histories. You said you're unmarried with adult children. Maybe mentally carve out what you think their inheritance should be, then the rest is your gravy.

As far as I know, we're on this planet in our current form only once. Money shouldn't rule your mental capacity & I think if you're spending it on something worthwhile (an object to make you happy, or better yet, an experience), you & it should be celebrated. Everything else in your life seems to be taken care of. Allow yourself the grace to breathe & enjoy your singular shot on this spinning rock. If you get reincarnated as a giraffe, you'll have no use for a Sea-Dweller or a once-in-a-lifetime hiking trip in New Zealand. I once heard someone say "I'd rather die penniless than full of regret" & I'm not sure I fully buy into that, but there is a nugget of truth in there.

[brandrea]

Originally Posted by JSolution

Yep :) I HATE spending money that’s why I prefer watches to cars haha

You’re a walking contradiction my friend

[brandrea]

Originally Posted by Giovannibravo

As long as I am living within my means I am happy.

Well put and straight to the point. Same

[SearChart]

Originally Posted by kieselguhr

I am averse to spending money irresponsibly, i.e. spending beyond my means (i would totally feel guilty doing it). But if the expenditure is covered and within my means then it doesn’t bother me.

This sums it up pretty well for me

[GolfJunkie]

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

As I've come into my late 30's and feel financially secure and know my family will be fine I like to spend on things I enjoy and can do and share with my kids. I lost both my parents at a young age and seeing that has really impacted my views on life now that I have kids of my own. I'm only here once and it's going by quickly. I like to buy and enjoy nice things while I'm still young and am able to. Tomorrow might not come.

[JSolution]

Originally Posted by brandrea

You’re a walking contradiction my friend

Haha. Believe me when it comes time for me to hand over my money it’s a very painful process for the buyer

I’ve stalled an AD for three weeks before because I couldn’t make a decision - o then had to admit I couldn’t wait any longer the next day I immediately regretted it - he had allocated it to another customer but let me have it still. I really had no choice at that point

[Dr. Robert]

I spent most of my money on women, wine, weed & song….the rest I just squandered.


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[NewYorkRanger]

Can't take it with you! Live your life!

[Krash]

I don’t feel guilty but I am cheap. I was born poor, too. Maybe that’s the reason why.

Everything is bought in moderation in our house. We have a beautiful home, but we could have bought something much more extravagant if we wanted to. I stay away from Porsches and drive BMWs instead. Gold watches are nice and shiny, but I stick to the stainless steel models. Those are just some examples but it pretty applies to everything we buy.


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[dba]

Originally Posted by WhiteRhino

I know this may not be the right forum for this question, but hear me out.
Curious if this is somewhat normal or I'm crazy (or crazier then I thought). I grew up pretty broke. Now that I make well into 6 figures I feel guilty about spending it. I feel this weird need to save it all. I'm 50 and single. My kids are grown and gone. I live in a cheap crappy apt and drive a 18 year old truck. I can afford to get a new vehicle and a better place but you guessed it...i feel guilty. I'd like to go on a solo vacation, but always seem to find an excuse not to spend the cash. I'm starting to realize this is silly because I cant take it with me. I'd also add that I have zero debt and a good savings on top of nice salary. I did come into a nice chunk of unexpected money a few years ago and that's when I bought my one and only Rolex (SD43). Anyone other nut jobs like me?

Just remember that Father Time is undefeated.

[KatGirl]

If I want it, and can afford it, I buy it. If I want it and can’t afford it, I get my husband to buy it for me.

Kat


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[GradyPhilpott]

I'm very frugal and that's why I can splurge on a few things in life.

[BraveBold]

Haha.

No.

Live well within means, in every sense.

Grew up poor.

[JasoninDenver]

Your situation is very common among people like us who have grown up poor. We tend to look at things catastrophically assuming that this current income or amount of money will one day just end.

I was able to get around it by realizing that my father worked his butt off and deferred a lot of joy only to die at 54. I do not hesitate to buy myself life experiences at this point. Travel, adventures, meals with friends, etc…

My wife also grew up poor. Despite making more than both of us ever imagined possible, she still has to convince herself that she can buy something nice for herself once in a while. She is getting better but faces guilt when her mother makes occasional snarky comments about her nice bags or our travel experiences.

[cdmorenot]

I used to feel really guilty about spending money. The first five or six years I started making substancial income I would second guess every purchase. I even expressed it a few times here on TRF.

Someone once replied and said "It sounds like you are not ready" at the time, the response kind of bothered me but then it clicked. I wasn't...

Now that I am absolutely sure I can produce consistent earnings, I don't really care about spending. I budget for my spending and once it's gone, I do not look back.

Now... If I am grabbing from the non-spend budget to spend, yes, it bothers me and I feel guilty.

[airchitect]

Only if it’s on me usually. If I spend on others it’s cool. My one constant splurge is coffee and if I am at a nice restaurant, a tasty beverage.


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[Letsgodiving]

Time-vs-Money.gif

People have been struggling with this sentiment for millennia. See my signature below.

I come from a similar background so I understand where you are coming from but at some point you have to ask yourself what is the point of working so hard to just hoard your money.

[Tri-Tip]

It's tough as you never know how long you will live and how much money you will need to live off for that time. I didn't grow up broke, I had everything I needed, but my parents instilled a lot of fiscal responsibility in me. They bought me my first bike, but when it was time that I wanted a new one, they made me buy it with my own money...they gave me the opportunity to earn the money, but I still had the sense of it coming out of my pocket, and I can't appreciate enough that they brought me up like this.

I have three nice watches that I have bought over the last 12 years (Rolex Sub & Exp II, and a Panerai Submersible). Each time, I pondered the situation for a bit too much time, but when it was right, it was right and I spent the money without regret.

[PackPride]

If you haven’t read it check out Bill Perkins “Die with Zero”. It’s an interesting take on the right experiences at the right time. Figure out what you are passionate about and spend excessively, be frugal on items that don’t bring you joy.

I don’t believe in spending everything as I fully plan to leave something to make enhance my children's lives. However, the idea of splurging when life’s timing is right resonates with me. For example, take the expensive trip while the children are still in the house, ski in the Alps while your body can still handle it, etc.

To specifically address OP’s question- I think in ratios. Create a plan where you save X%, spend Y% on necessary items and Z% just for fun money. If you are saving your determined percentage, make sure you force yourself to spend your “spending” ratio too. It will be difficult at first but you have to train yourself and it will eventually become a learned trait.

[AzPaul]

I don't freely spend on myself. My truck is well seasoned. My home will never be featured in Sunset, and I've been told my style of dress is something short of scintillating. However, I do like to spend on others. Always makes me feel good.

[EEpro]

Not really. I model myself after the US Treasury.

[airchitect]

One thing that really impacted me on this….my mom and dad saved, saved, and saved their entire lives. Rarely ever did anything fun. Everything was for a rainy day. Four years ago, my mom was laying in her bed dying of cancer and I asked her if she had anything she wanted to tell us. All she said was “if there’s anything you ever want to do, do it now, don’t wait” I try to remember that everyday.


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[ExplorerI]

Tomorrows not guaranteed take the trip

[7sins]

Interesting take and guess I am the odd one out here. Like many of you, I grew up with very little, first job at 15 and started first company at 19. Never had any sense of frugality and did not give a second thought to large impulse purchases. If I wanted something, I worked hard and purchased it to thoroughly enjoy. There was a sense of accomplishment and gratification purchasing something I never thought I would be able to. From the first 4 to 5 and then 6 figure watch, what a wild dream that became reality. If I die tomorrow, I lived life to the absolute fullest, never stressed about saving but making sure the money was put to making those I care about and myself relentlessly happy.

Could not be more grateful how fortunate I am and the opportunities to experiences an incredible lifetime of adventures. Personally, I thought my spending habits would subside in time but have only escalated as I grow personally and develop new hobbies. Which ultimately begs the question, will anything ever be enough?

Maybe some of you need to teach me to be a better saver