Divorcing

[Danny83]

Originally Posted by superdog

Going through it now.

There is a path to reconciliation, but it’s a long one. And the last year has been a challenge, to say the least.

Ups and downs for sure. Just when you think things suck, they start to look up. Then when you think the bad times are over, you get a sucker punch and they begin anew.

Deleting social media is definitely great advice. So is going to the gym and starting some positive habits.

Sorry to hear Seth. But glad you are good

[donas]

Yup, been down that road. But, my first wife was a lying, cheating, whore which made it a little easier. Even with all that considered, for some reason I still missed her . She invited me to lunch a year or so after we divorced. I then learned she had remarried a Navy guy who was currently deployed, had moved her boyfriend into their house, and then lied to him to meet me for lunch.......didn't miss her much after that

Stay strong, life goes on.

[TheVTCGuy]

Originally Posted by donas

Yup, been down that road. But, my first wife was a lying, cheating, whore which made it a little easier. Even with all that considered, for some reason I still missed her . She invited me to lunch a year or so after we divorced. I then learned she had remarried a Navy guy who was currently deployed, had moved her boyfriend into their house, and then lied to him to meet me for lunch.......didn't miss her much after that

Stay strong, life goes on.

Wade! I had no idea we were married to the same woman!!!!!

[donas]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

Wade! I had no idea we were married to the same woman!!!!!

She did say something about a Navy pilot during lunch....

[Star Ferry]

Originally Posted by donas

Yup, been down that road. But, my first wife was a lying, cheating, whore which made it a little easier. Even with all that considered, for some reason I still missed her . She invited me to lunch a year or so after we divorced. I then learned she had remarried a Navy guy who was currently deployed, had moved her boyfriend into their house, and then lied to him to meet me for lunch.......didn't miss her much after that

Stay strong, life goes on.

You should have declined the lunch. More generally, I’ve always found it super weird when folks act like all women are good/ honest/ special/ perfect/ moral/ beautiful/ etc. Women are just people, and people come in all sorts. Some men are bad people, and some women are bad people. That’s empirical fact, not sexism, no matter how loudly people shout/screech to the contrary.

[DLRIDES]

Originally Posted by rolio

After almost 40 years of marriage, I am separated/divorcing. I had to sell my Classic 16710. It broke my heart to sell my prized watch but needed the cash. One day, again. Anyone been through this

) Yep, never again though !

) The number one reason for divorce is marriage.

) The National Guard created the greatest framework for relationships in history, practice it.

• One weekend a month, and two weeks a year.

[donas]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

You should have declined the lunch. More generally, I’ve always found it super weird when folks act like all women are good/ honest/ special/ perfect/ moral/ beautiful/ etc. Women are just people, and people come in all sorts. Some men are bad people, and some women are bad people. That’s empirical fact, not sexism, no matter how loudly people shout/screech to the contrary.

You sound like a blast to hang out with LOL. It's just a funny story that's almost 30 years old; I'm pretty over it.

[Star Ferry]

Originally Posted by donas

You sound like a blast to hang out with LOL. It's just a funny story that's almost 30 years old; I'm pretty over it.

Easy there, just a comment on a discussion thread — which is that plenty of (mostly younger) guys really think all women are perfect, and then are disappointed. That’s why I said “more generally” .. because was no longer talking about you and your story. That’s how conversations go sometimes, they start at point A and branch off to point B, C, and D.

[donas]

Originally Posted by Star Ferry

Easy there, just a comment on a discussion thread — which is that plenty of (mostly younger) guys really think all women are perfect, and then are disappointed. That’s why I said “more generally” .. because was no longer talking about you and your story. That’s how conversations go sometimes, they start at point A and branch off to point B, C, and D.

Um, that was easy. Just a joke partner. I do my best not to insult people on internet forums, I don't even get the joy of seeing the look on their face, so that just takes the fun right out of it for me.

Nevertheless, I don't know what guys you are around that think women are perfect, that's the comment of the day. I associate with quite the variety of people and haven't come across one even close to that attitude. Seeing how this thread is about divorce, probably none in here either.

[BNA/LION]

Sorry you have to go through this after so much time. Best of luck as you continue on your life's journey. It's critical to have a positive mental attitude and stay confident. You are worthy of peace and happiness.

[Maharishi]

My father sold his 16613 Bluesy after the divorce and lost his business.
20 years later he did some trades on Craigslist and got himself a 16613 Bluesy :)
I sent it to RSC for him and paid the bill.

You’ll bounce back. I guarantee it.

[Andy0331]

Sorry to hear it. On the bright side, it's not a bad time to sell; hopefully you'll be in a position to buy again when the market normalizes a bit.

[cop414]

So sorry to hear this Ray, I’ve been there, sucker punched by the “I want a divorce statement” many years ago on Christmas Eve of all days.
Hang in there, one step at a time. Things will get better but they take time, more time than you think.
You’ll be better at the end of all of it, just take things one day at a time.

[Old Expat Beast]

Is this the same divorce as this time last year?

https://www.rolexforums.com/showthread.php?t=805962

[brandrea]

Originally Posted by Old Expat Beast

Is this the same divorce as this time last year?

https://www.rolexforums.com/showthread.php?t=805962

Oh my …

[Speedbird-1]

Originally Posted by Old Expat Beast

Is this the same divorce as this time last year?

https://www.rolexforums.com/showthread.php?t=805962

Divorce, believe it or not, is not generally, a 5min procedure.

Please, Adam, don't ask me how I know.

[7sins]

Originally Posted by JasoninDenver

Been there and, for me, it was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Also spent 20 years doing divorce and family law.

Life will be different for sure. Things will be tough for awhile but eventually get better and one day you may likely even feel your new life is better than you could ever have imagined.

Every single guy for whom I handled a divorce, and there have been 30-40, eventually realized that they had settled for a less than ideal situation or been unhappy for years. Even those guys who did not want the divorce initially. Every single one was actually happier AFTER the divorce. It may take a year or two, but I believe you will get there as well.

Don’t be afraid to get counseling as you go through this. It is hard and I really think the people who came out of this the best were those who tackled the grief and heartache head on with help.

Good luck.

This is excellent advice. Only thing I would add would be to find new hobbies that you enjoy and can distract you ie scuba diving or get your pilots license. Go to the gym, get healthier, feel better about yourself. You have to be good with you before taking the next steps to move forward. I've seen the challenges my father faced/faces going through his current divorce and best thing for him was joining a post divorce support group. He made a lot of new friends who were all in a similar situation. The worst thing to do is sit at home, by yourself and dwell in your own subconscious.

[Andad]

Originally Posted by donas

Yup, been down that road. But, my first wife was a lying, cheating, whore which made it a little easier. Even with all that considered, for some reason I still missed her . She invited me to lunch a year or so after we divorced. I then learned she had remarried a Navy guy who was currently deployed, had moved her boyfriend into their house, and then lied to him to meet me for lunch.......didn't miss her much after that

Stay strong, life goes on.

Whatever the truth was J that statement is not acceptable to me here on TRF.

[samson66]

Been through it and absolutely came out much happier on the other side. You go through a year or so of hell but you are rewarded with a much better life after. Good luck.

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[airchitect]

Sounds like there’s a group of guys on YouTube some of you should be paying attention to. OP, sorry for your situation. Sucks. But things move on. Just be sure to not fall into the “give her what she wants” trap


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[donas]

Originally Posted by Andad

Whatever the truth was J that statement is not acceptable to me here on TRF.

Huh?

[jaisonline]

Sorry to hear.

When I was far younger, my mother divorced 3 times including my paternal father. Unfortunately, my mother was the cause each time. All 3 men were far happier afterwards.

Also had a close friend divorce only after 4 years of marriage. He is also far happier. In fact, all 4 men eventually met multiple great ladies & some even remarried.

It takes time and can be hard financially and emotional. You will pull through.
Starts terrible for everyone I involved (especially children) in unhappy or 1-sided marriages. Before you know it, you might think it was the best decision & wished it happened sooner.

Originally Posted by rolio

After almost 40 years of marriage, I am separated/divorcing. I had to sell my Classic 16710. It broke my heart to sell my prized watch but needed the cash. One day, again. Anyone been through this

[Blansky]

I lost this watch in a divorce settlement in around 1980. (pic not mine)

I found a keeper wife in 1990.

[DLRIDES]

Originally Posted by donas

Huh?

X 2

[enjoythemusic]

I suggest a trip to Vegas.

The answer might not be there, but shouldn't you at least go look?

[lear60man]

Originally Posted by JayHantz

I have gone through it as well, and it is not easy.

The best thing you can do is focus on yourself and not the situation. Do not isolate yourself either; stay close with your friends and reach out when you need to. The advice to delete/stay away from social media is spot on because there may be times you find yourself looking, questioning, and getting sucked into what is going on. Take some time for the gym and yourself.

Lastly, know that it sucks, but know that better days are coming and that you will be alright.

Spot on. Avoiding isolation is the key. Reach out to long time friends, make plans, do things you always wanted to do. Go travel, skydive, hit the gym etc. Avoid hitting the bottle or worse. Get a puppy.

[Blansky]

I think the problem often is, women go into a marriage thinking they're going to change him, and men go into it thinking the woman will never change.

And in the end they're both wrong.

[austinp]

Originally Posted by Blansky

I think the problem often is, women go into a marriage thinking they're going to change him, and men go into it thinking the woman will never change.

And in the end they're both wrong.

Nailed it.


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[TheVTCGuy]

Being an expert on women, relationships, and marriage, I am now going to share everything I know about maintaining a successful union with a woman: Read? Here we go:














That was it, any questions?

[Al1969]

Originally Posted by DLRIDES

X 2

Make that a X3.