Shove It Up Your!!.

[padi56]

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.

Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."

Immediately, the husband drove downtown to accuse the pharmacist and demand an apology.

Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it.

This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up.

I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be danged if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside.

I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket.

Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tyre.

When I finally got to the store, there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up.

I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.

Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilt all over the floor.

I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone is still ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.

The phone is still ringing and it won't let up, I finally got back to answer it."

The pharmacist continues, "It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I ONLY TOLD HER!!!"