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The Dude · 2 August 2006, 01:54 AM

I had a Chocolate Lab, and was in line to check out of Wal-Mart a while ago with a large bag of Purina dog food.

A woman behind me at the time asked if I owned a dog.

On impulse, I told her no. I said I was starting the Purina diet again. I told her I shouldn’t, though, because I’d ended up in the hospital the last time. I had lost 50 pounds but awakened one day in the hospital in the intensive care unit. I had tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her it was, however, essentially a perfect diet. You load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind the woman.

Horrified, the woman asked if I’d been poisoned.

I told her no, that I’d been sitting in the middle of the street licking my balls and a car hit me!

I thought the tall guy was going to need help as he fell to the ground laughing.

So when ever you have a chance and someone ask you a stupid question JUST DO IT, give them a stupid answer!

2 August 2006, 01:57 AM

Beauty!

Earl · 2 August 2006, 03:49 AM

OMG!!!!!! so funny Patrick (sorry for the name mis-spelling earlier!)

padi56 · 2 August 2006, 03:52 AM

LMAO.

JJ Irani · 2 August 2006, 04:04 AM

C.J. · 2 August 2006, 06:40 AM

That was great

2 August 2006, 07:40 AM

Mrdi · 2 August 2006, 01:55 PM

Yes funny!!

Has Earl been to the top of Half Dome?

mailman · 2 August 2006, 06:42 PM

Rockrolex · 2 August 2006, 11:22 PM

Priceless, Patrick. Absolutely pricless.

C.J. · 3 August 2006, 12:08 AM

True, but funny story. I was walking a beat on the boardwalk some years back. An older couple was walking right at me. Right away I could tell they were going to ask me something. As they got closer, I could here the woman saying ' Yes he will, he's a policeman, I bet he gets asked this all the time" Her husband was saying "you're being ridiculous, nobody knows, now leave him alone"

As she reached me, she said "Officer, my husbands says you won't know this, but I know you will. How many boards of wood are in the Atlantic City Boardwalk?" Without batting an eye or a moments hesitation, I said 4,638,412. She said " Thank you, so much, I wouldn't be able to rest until I knew the answer". She turned to her husband and said "You see George, I told you he would know"

As they walked away, the husband came over to me and asked " Can you repeat that same number?" To which I answered " Not on your life"

He laughed and thanked me for getting his wife off his back

Needless to say, the number I mentioned above is just a meaningless number, I have no idea what number i told them that day

Well, it was funny at the time. I guess it's one of those things you just had to be there to appreciate

3 August 2006, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C.J.

True, but funny story. I was walking a beat on the boardwalk some years back. An older couple was walking right at me. Right away I could tell they were going to ask me something. As they got closer, I could here the woman saying ' Yes he will, he's a policeman, I bet he gets asked this all the time" Her husband was saying "you're being ridiculous, nobody knows, now leave him alone"

As she reached me, she said "Officer, my husbands says you won't know this, but I know you will. How many boards of wood are in the Atlantic City Boardwalk?" Without batting an eye or a moments hesitation, I said 4,638,412. She said " Thank you, so much, I wouldn't be able to rest until I knew the answer". She turned to her husband and said "You see George, I told you he would know"

As they walked away, the husband came over to me and asked " Can you repeat that same number?" To which I answered " Not on your life"

He laughed and thanked me for getting his wife off his back

Needless to say, the number I mentioned above is just a meaningless number, I have no idea what number i told them that day

Well, it was funny at the time. I guess it's one of those things you just had to be there to appreciate

So as a public servant, you knowingly mislead a tourist in a city that thrives on tourism?

Bastid....

Quite funny actually

Earl · 3 August 2006, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrdi

Yes funny!!

Has Earl been to the top of Half Dome?

Nope can't say I have but, I did stay at a great hotel last night does it show?

3 August 2006, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrdi

Yes funny!!

Has Earl been to the top of Half Dome?

Has anyone really been to the top of JJ's head?

JJ Irani · 3 August 2006, 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C.J.

True, but funny story. I was walking a beat on the boardwalk some years back. An older couple was walking right at me. Right away I could tell they were going to ask me something. As they got closer, I could here the woman saying ' Yes he will, he's a policeman, I bet he gets asked this all the time" Her husband was saying "you're being ridiculous, nobody knows, now leave him alone"

As she reached me, she said "Officer, my husbands says you won't know this, but I know you will. How many boards of wood are in the Atlantic City Boardwalk?" Without batting an eye or a moments hesitation, I said 4,638,412. She said " Thank you, so much, I wouldn't be able to rest until I knew the answer". She turned to her husband and said "You see George, I told you he would know"

As they walked away, the husband came over to me and asked " Can you repeat that same number?" To which I answered " Not on your life"

He laughed and thanked me for getting his wife off his back

Needless to say, the number I mentioned above is just a meaningless number, I have no idea what number i told them that day

Well, it was funny at the time. I guess it's one of those things you just had to be there to appreciate

You were a big help, you tosser....misleading that poor old lady!!

Quite funny actually!

maccars · 17 August 2006, 05:20 AM

" . . . Here's your sign!"

pensivedoc · 17 August 2006, 06:54 AM

2 August 2006, 01:54 AM	#1
The Dude Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In my own world Posts: 595	When ever you have a chance JUST DO IT! I had a Chocolate Lab, and was in line to check out of Wal-Mart a while ago with a large bag of Purina dog food. A woman behind me at the time asked if I owned a dog. On impulse, I told her no. I said I was starting the Purina diet again. I told her I shouldn’t, though, because I’d ended up in the hospital the last time. I had lost 50 pounds but awakened one day in the hospital in the intensive care unit. I had tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her it was, however, essentially a perfect diet. You load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind the woman. Horrified, the woman asked if I’d been poisoned. I told her no, that I’d been sitting in the middle of the street licking my balls and a car hit me! I thought the tall guy was going to need help as he fell to the ground laughing. So when ever you have a chance and someone ask you a stupid question JUST DO IT, give them a stupid answer!

2 August 2006, 03:52 AM	#4
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,357	LMAO. __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

2 August 2006, 04:04 AM	#5
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,320	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

2 August 2006, 06:40 AM	#6
C.J. "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: * Posts: 10,196	That was great __________________ Me? I'm still looking for Kokomo. I just hope that damn golfer isn't there

2 August 2006, 11:22 PM	#10
Rockrolex TRF Moderator & 2024 DATE-JUST41 Patron Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: God Location: Washington, D.C. Watch: What do you think? Posts: 37,537	Priceless, Patrick. Absolutely pricless. __________________ Despite the high cost of living, it's still very popular. *Tosser Cabinet Member* Official Member: 'Perpetual 30' Vegas International GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2018 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2019

2 August 2006, 03:49 AM	#3
Earl "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: Who Me? Location: Northern Virginia Watch: out Posts: 4,616	OMG!!!!!! so funny Patrick (sorry for the name mis-spelling earlier!)

2 August 2006, 01:55 PM	#8
Mrdi Banned Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: PA Posts: 3,478	Yes funny!! Has Earl been to the top of Half Dome?

2 August 2006, 06:42 PM	#9
mailman TRF Moderator & DATE-JUST41 2024 Patron Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: . Watch: 126610LN Posts: 35,378

3 August 2006, 12:08 AM	#11
C.J. "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: * Posts: 10,196	True, but funny story. I was walking a beat on the boardwalk some years back. An older couple was walking right at me. Right away I could tell they were going to ask me something. As they got closer, I could here the woman saying ' Yes he will, he's a policeman, I bet he gets asked this all the time" Her husband was saying "you're being ridiculous, nobody knows, now leave him alone" As she reached me, she said "Officer, my husbands says you won't know this, but I know you will. How many boards of wood are in the Atlantic City Boardwalk?" Without batting an eye or a moments hesitation, I said 4,638,412. She said " Thank you, so much, I wouldn't be able to rest until I knew the answer". She turned to her husband and said "You see George, I told you he would know" As they walked away, the husband came over to me and asked " Can you repeat that same number?" To which I answered " Not on your life" He laughed and thanked me for getting his wife off his back Needless to say, the number I mentioned above is just a meaningless number, I have no idea what number i told them that day Well, it was funny at the time. I guess it's one of those things you just had to be there to appreciate __________________ Me? I'm still looking for Kokomo. I just hope that damn golfer isn't there

17 August 2006, 05:20 AM	#16
maccars Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Jackson, MS Watch: Omega Railmaster Posts: 15	" . . . Here's your sign!"

17 August 2006, 06:54 AM	#17
pensivedoc "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Colorado, USA Posts: 307

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Atomic Guest Posts: n/a	Beauty!

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