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Old 1 August 2023, 11:32 PM   #1
Ted Shred
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Lawyer Joke

Guy calls up a lawyer and asks "How much for you to answer 3 questions?" The lawyer thinks for a moment and replies "One Thousand Dollars." The guy responds "Whooaa... isn't $1000 rather expensive just to answer 3 questions?" The lawyer thought a bit longer this time and said "Yes, I suppose it is. What's your 3rd question?"
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Old 1 August 2023, 11:53 PM   #2
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With great respect to all my lawyer friends on TRF this is funny
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Old 2 August 2023, 11:46 AM   #3
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As an attorney, I think think this is a great joke! That being said, inflation is real. We can't answer your three questions for $1,000 these days. That was the late 90's and early 2000's.
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Old 3 August 2023, 01:48 AM   #4
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As an attorney, I think think this is a great joke! That being said, inflation is real. We can't answer your three questions for $1,000 these days. That was the late 90's and early 2000's.
hahaha, nice one mate
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Old 3 August 2023, 04:47 AM   #5
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How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Old 3 August 2023, 09:47 AM   #6
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Old 3 August 2023, 09:47 AM   #7
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Old 4 August 2023, 11:21 AM   #8
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Good one!!
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Old 14 August 2023, 01:44 AM   #9
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Good one, as a lawyer.

A lawyer and a doctor are at a social party. The doctor says to the lawyer that people are asking him his medical opinion at this party, how can he stop it? The lawyer said send the people a bill for your consultation. So the next day, the doctor sent the patients a bill and the lawyer sent the doctor a bill.
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Old 9 September 2023, 01:54 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scarlet knight View Post
Good one, as a lawyer.

A lawyer and a doctor are at a social party. The doctor says to the lawyer that people are asking him his medical opinion at this party, how can he stop it? The lawyer said send the people a bill for your consultation. So the next day, the doctor sent the patients a bill and the lawyer sent the doctor a bill.
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Old 9 September 2023, 03:39 PM   #11
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Old 10 September 2023, 03:39 AM   #12
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Old 11 October 2023, 05:01 AM   #13
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Where's the joke? This is reality
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Old 15 October 2023, 12:09 PM   #14
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Hahaha


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Old 16 October 2023, 01:58 PM   #15
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Old 19 October 2023, 01:51 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ted Shred View Post
Guy calls up a lawyer and asks "How much for you to answer 3 questions?" The lawyer thinks for a moment and replies "One Thousand Dollars." The guy responds "Whooaa... isn't $1000 rather expensive just to answer 3 questions?" The lawyer thought a bit longer this time and said "Yes, I suppose it is. What's your 3rd question?"
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Old 30 October 2023, 05:03 AM   #17
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Haha
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Old 27 November 2023, 10:47 AM   #18
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Answer

haha

Last edited by nyctoytimer; 27 November 2023 at 10:49 AM.. Reason: misspelled
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Old 27 November 2023, 11:44 AM   #19
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Old 27 November 2023, 01:38 PM   #20
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Best lawyer story of the year

This took place in Charlotte, North Carolina . A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued - and WON! (Stay with me.)

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This true story won First Place in a Criminal Lawyers Award contest.

ONLY IN AMERICA .....

NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS WE'RE NUTS!
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Old 28 November 2023, 02:58 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nyctoytimer View Post
This took place in Charlotte, North Carolina . A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued - and WON! (Stay with me.)

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the 'fires'.

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This true story won First Place in a Criminal Lawyers Award contest.

ONLY IN AMERICA .....

NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS WE'RE NUTS!
.
got that right.
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Old 28 November 2023, 07:24 AM   #22
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Good one
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