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figbo · 1 November 2008, 11:29 AM

This was recently in the Seattle Paper . . . the title of the article was 'Best Come Back Line Ever.'

In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.
On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated in a telephone interview.

Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Mr. Aylor and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Aylor.

'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said.....

'A pumpkin? . . . Shit . . . is it midnight already?'

toph · 1 November 2008, 11:50 AM

genius!!

Hatchet · 1 November 2008, 12:12 PM

Ha! One time Bob Hope got heckled by a woman and he told her if he were her husband he would give her poison. She told him that if she were his wife she would take it.

Greenring · 1 November 2008, 01:13 PM

Very quick on his feet, or, errr, in a pumpkin patch...

limbo · 1 November 2008, 03:50 PM

JJ Irani · 1 November 2008, 03:56 PM

JJ Irani · 1 November 2008, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hatchet

Ha! One time Bob Hope got heckled by a woman and he told her if he were her husband he would give her poison. She told him that if she were his wife she would take it.

ROLEX MAN · 1 November 2008, 10:30 PM

There you go!!!!

Rolexitis · 2 November 2008, 08:52 AM

NICE

Latrodectus · 2 November 2008, 02:16 PM

swatty · 2 November 2008, 05:25 PM

1 November 2008, 11:29 AM	#1
figbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: El Raf-O Location: florida Watch: tt GMT2c,Omega Posts: 19,687	Best comeback line ever This was recently in the Seattle Paper . . . the title of the article was 'Best Come Back Line Ever.' In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night. On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated in a telephone interview. Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. 'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Mr. Aylor and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Aylor. 'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said..... 'A pumpkin? . . . Shit . . . is it midnight already?'

1 November 2008, 11:50 AM	#2
toph "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Real Name: ChrisTOPHer Location: Sydney Watch: Rolex, Brellum, Posts: 12,601	genius!! __________________ "Where no counsel is the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Member No.# 11795

1 November 2008, 12:12 PM	#3
Hatchet "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Mississippi Posts: 444	Ha! One time Bob Hope got heckled by a woman and he told her if he were her husband he would give her poison. She told him that if she were his wife she would take it. __________________ And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice. --Carl Spackler in Caddyshack

1 November 2008, 03:56 PM	#6
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,319	__________________ Words fail me in expressing my utmost thanks to ALL of you for this wonderful support during my hour of need!! I firmly believe that my time on planet earth is NOT yet up!! I shall fight this to the very end.......and WIN!!

1 November 2008, 10:30 PM	#8
ROLEX MAN 2024 ROLEX DATEJUST41 Pledge Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Real Name: Martin Location: land down under Watch: you? "YES PLEASE"! Posts: 3,685	There you go!!!! __________________ *it's not just about telling the time...* *happy rolexing...* I'm just a man with a passion

1 November 2008, 01:13 PM	#4
Greenring "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Real Name: Stan Location: Brunswick, Ohio Watch: All of them Posts: 967	Very quick on his feet, or, errr, in a pumpkin patch...

1 November 2008, 03:50 PM	#5
limbo "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sydney Posts: 4,624

2 November 2008, 08:52 AM	#9
Rolexitis "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2008 Real Name: Matt Location: Earth Watch: 114060 Posts: 3,203	NICE __________________ Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons

2 November 2008, 02:16 PM	#10
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2 November 2008, 05:25 PM	#11
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