question about anxities

[Art 1]

I have been very very very poor in my life in a way that most here could never understand. I can remember my poor immigrant grandmother telling me many times that our kind cannot afford to be ill and have worry’s that we need to work and get by. Funny thing is she was never sick just like my dad who is 84 and me. So I come from a different back ground. So I’ve had to work hard and be smart. And I have. So now, I know and am surrounded by people that have never had to work and money has always been available. And they seem to worry about losing it all. It’s sad to see. Me I depend on myself. It’s interesting for me to read on here about people’s concerns and searches for $120,000 cars. You see it often here. But any way. I wish all with these anxieties the best of luck. Every thing has always worked out. And everything will. Thinking ahead too far only can cause enxiety.

[Terrakot]

Meanwhile, if you drink a coffee, try to limit yourself to 1-2 cups before lunch

[superdog]

Originally Posted by Terrakot

Meanwhile, if you drink a coffee, try to limit yourself to 1-2 cups before lunch

That’s great advice.

[Chester01]

Originally Posted by crazymcmichael

This forum is, very very very nice i must say.. I really like the people on this forum... Much more than the people i mostly see..
I do a lot of exercising, i have a own gym in my house and train about 3 times a week strength, before more but i am to tired nowadays to accomplish that.
The problem is also quite a bit, that i do not see professionals as professionals and i lost all faith in ''humanity'' the strange thing is that i am in a real weird situation, i do not have a job, and i live as a complete loner.. I basicly feel very ''bad'' in most situations with most people that walk around really… But indeed, the people on this forum are rather nice and stylish

Sounds like you are doing what you can to keep it at bay. However part of things like depression and anxiety their symptoms tend to alienate us from the people around us and the things we used to enjoy, then things get darker. I can see from your other comments above that you have had past negative experiences but finding the best fit is key. Depending where you are , if in the US your state psychiatric and psychological associations have referral lines to well credentialed folks in your area. Schedule an appointment with 2-3 and meet them. Then decide. One does not have to feel it will “help” during the first couple meetings but make the commitment to stay around for a few sessions. The first meetings are more Info and history gathering and may not result in feeling better the first few sessions. Likewise many mediations for this kind of thing takes several weeks to get to a therapeutic level.

[superdog]

Originally Posted by Art 1

I have been very very very poor in my life in a way that most here could never understand. I can remember my poor immigrant grandmother telling me many times that our kind cannot afford to be ill and have worry’s that we need to work and get by. Funny thing is she was never sick just like my dad who is 84 and me. So I come from a different back ground. So I’ve had to work hard and be smart. And I have. So now, I know and am surrounded by people that have never had to work and money has always been available. And they seem to worry about losing it all. It’s sad to see. Me I depend on myself. It’s interesting for me to read on here about people’s concerns and searches for $120,000 cars. You see it often here. But any way. I wish all with these anxieties the best of luck. Every thing has always worked out. And everything will. Thinking ahead too far only can cause enxiety.

This is one of the reasons I like forums and comments sections. There are so many different perspectives. Thank you for sharing yours.

While not as extreme for me, I can relate. I did grow up in a middle class neighborhood. But I was always schooled to be super cautious about money. I learned why, later on.

Without going into too much detail, my folks sacrificed everything to give me opportunities. As a kid, I was lucky. But I was also told I’d be a janitor. Many times. I was a rambunctious student, to say the least. And during that time I saw my father have endless stress and worry. I also saw many family members and friends go from wealthy to poor.

I wanted nothing more than to be a park ranger. I still kind of wish I could live that dream. After that, I wanted to be a sociology teacher. It was my major in school. My folks always pushed me to do more. So I did.

And I remember buying toilet paper and whatnot after a paycheck, only to go back after my next paycheck and get the rest of the stuff I needed. It was a constant revolving cycle. Not where you came from, but I remember clearly buying hot dogs from 7/11 because it was the only way I was going to eat.

After a few years of getting on my feet, working for the largest professional services firm in the world, my father had his 5th heart attack. And I learned he couldn’t afford to retire. Not even close. He was still recovering from paying off my school.

I realize I’m writing a small book here, and that most couldn’t care less. So I’ll be succinct. My business is now 20 times larger. And everyday I’m terrified the floor will drop out. It’s what drives me and pushes me. I’ve see it happen too many times to think it can’t hapoen to me. My team laughs at me regularly. I’ve been saying our numbers are a fluke for near to a decade.

It’s why I pay cash for everything. If I can’t pay cash, I don’t buy it. And that’s the only thing that helps with my own personal demons. I still have my issues. I imagine I always will.

But it’s those issues and insecurities that drive me. For better or worse. And paying cash gives me the sense of freedom knowing I can always sell off assets if need be.

Each and every one of us, on the forum and not, have our perspective. Our own history that shapes us as individuals. I’ll enjoy the fruits of my labors, until I can’t. And I’ll try and build a true foundation that creates a certain level of security in the process.

That book aside, I truly believe that giving a “f*ck” can truly create a path to prosperity. But I also question the cost. As it stands, I’m living the dream. But I’m still not sure it’s worth it.

Someday I’ll enjoy a small cabin with my wife and dogs. Waking up to a babbling brook and a beautiful sunrise. But I’ll do it on my terms.

Too much? Yep. But sitting in the airport (again) and this was fun.

[crazymcmichael]

Originally Posted by superdog

This is one of the reasons I like forums and comments sections. There are so many different perspectives. Thank you for sharing yours.

While not as extreme for me, I can relate. I did grow up in a middle class neighborhood. But I was always schooled to be super cautious about money. I learned why, later on.

Without going into too much detail, my folks sacrificed everything to give me opportunities. As a kid, I was lucky. But I was also told I’d be a janitor. Many times. I was a rambunctious student, to say the least. And during that time I saw my father have endless stress and worry. I also saw many family members and friends go from wealthy to poor.

I wanted nothing more than to be a park ranger. I still kind of wish I could live that dream. After that, I wanted to be a sociology teacher. It was my major in school. My folks always pushed me to do more. So I did.

And I remember buying toilet paper and whatnot after a paycheck, only to go back after my next paycheck and get the rest of the stuff I needed. It was a constant revolving cycle. Not where you came from, but I remember clearly buying hot dogs from 7/11 because it was the only way I was going to eat.

After a few years of getting on my feet, working for the largest professional services firm in the world, my father had his 5th heart attack. And I learned he couldn’t afford to retire. Not even close. He was still recovering from paying off my school.

I realize I’m writing a small book here, and that most couldn’t care less. So I’ll be succinct. My business is now 20 times larger. And everyday I’m terrified the floor will drop out. It’s what drives me and pushes me. I’ve see it happen too many times to think it can’t hapoen to me. My team laughs at me regularly. I’ve been saying our numbers are a fluke for near to a decade.

It’s why I pay cash for everything. If I can’t pay cash, I don’t buy it. And that’s the only thing that helps with my own personal demons. I still have my issues. I imagine I always will.

But it’s those issues and insecurities that drive me. For better or worse. And paying cash gives me the sense of freedom knowing I can always sell off assets if need be.

Each and every one of us, on the forum and not, have our perspective. Our own history that shapes us as individuals. I’ll enjoy the fruits of my labors, until I can’t. And I’ll try and build a true foundation that creates a certain level of security in the process.

That book aside, I truly believe that giving a “f*ck” can truly create a path to prosperity. But I also question the cost. As it stands, I’m living the dream. But I’m still not sure it’s worth it.

Someday I’ll enjoy a small cabin with my wife and dogs. Waking up to a babbling brook and a beautiful sunrise. But I’ll do it on my terms.

Too much? Yep. But sitting in the airport (again) and this was fun.

Not to much at all, it gives my grey rainy days something to read on which i appreciate very much.
That is also my dream, a logcabin somewhere in the nature with my girlfriend and the rest around.. Beautifull story, nice to read how you doing and understandable, and respectable what you have made till here.

For me the path was sort of ''chosen'' before i could change a thing..
I grew up in a normal family, not rich not very poor but average.
I do not want to give the idea that i blame everybody around me but myself so i will not write to much however, i had Always a certain type of humour that not everybody seems to understand and appreciate.. This brought so much struggles on the schools that they putted me off school when i was 15 and since than i am basicly ''stuck'' in the system..
Than from 16 till 18 i got very bad alcohol problem and i ended up weighing only 40 kilograms by 182 cm
I tried for a while to work, but i had to do this for free as they will not accept me as a full normal person.. After 2 years working for 60 hours a week for nothing except my scial benefit i got depressed again and obviously ''quitted everything'' the shitty fact is that i did work completely alone and did everything exactly as my coworkers.. I did drive a truck. But whatever, i try to learn to daytrade now a bit to have a extra backup for when everything else fails.. How much the things have been changing in the last 13 years of my life from 15 till now is unbelievable.. It feels like i leaved humanity so long ago that it is even hard to walk the Streets by now..
sorry for my bad English guys, i am from Europe :) As you might understand, i havent had any normal schooling and have learned it this way myself by chatting a bit in msn Messenger back in the days………

Yes i know….. crazy crazy life, but what can i do?

[037]

Originally Posted by superdog

That book aside, I truly believe that giving a “f*ck” can truly create a path to prosperity. But I also question the cost. As it stands, I’m living the dream. But I’m still not sure it’s worth it.

Just to clarify my take on this, it's not about not giving a f'k in general, rather it's about not giving a f'k about what others think about you and letting them determine your path. That's where things changed for me. I still care 100% about others and have no reservations there. I just don't care what they think about me since it's not something I can control.

Worry only about the things you can personally control the outcome. The rest is just unnecessary stress.

Great backstory, BTW. I can personally relate to quite a bit of it.

[crazymcmichael]

Originally Posted by 037

Just to clarify my take on this, it's not about not giving a f'k in general, rather it's about not giving a f'k about what others think about you and letting them determine your path. That's where things changed for me. I still care 100% about others and have no reservations there. I just don't care what they think about me since it's not something I can control.

Worry only about the things you can personally control the outcome. The rest is just unnecessary stress.

Great backstory, BTW. I can personally relate to quite a bit of it.

For what people think i honestly allready don't care anymore) Obviously my way of life isn't right to myself though

[037]

Originally Posted by crazymcmichael

For what people think i honestly allready don't care anymore) Obviously my way of life isn't right to myself though

That's always harder to sort out. Always.

[r_afficionado]

Originally Posted by quakeroatmeal

This sounds like something that you should see a therapist about...

++++This^^^^^^

Sent from my SM-G965U using Tapatalk

[tudorbaja27]

https://www.amazon.com/How-Stop-Worr.../dp/0671733354

I'd also give this a read

[brandrea]

The first step is to talk about it, which you are doing and that should be commended.

I’d really encourage you to consult your family doctor, if you haven’t already. They can help to make referrals to the appropriate professional help. IMO the type of debilitating anxiety you are suffering from, needs professional diagnosis and treatment.

Good luck to you.

[swils8610]

Lots of good advice here. We are all human...a preacher that was a friend of my dads when my dad was getting divorced told him then...90% of the things we worry about don’t happen, 5% of the things we worry about are beyond our control...the last 5% don’t always wind up bad but often end with a positive out come...take a deep breath and try to relax. I’m def getting a copy of that book!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[Fabrice M]

I think talking to a professional , a therapist that is, would be a a great first step toward feeling better. You must take that first step. And there isn’t a better day than today. Do it today. Why wait, try it you can always stop should you feel it’s not for you. Not to mention many therapist first appointment is free. Do it, I swear you will feel a little relieved and better just knowing you have an appointment.

[Old Geezer]

Originally Posted by crazymcmichael

Sometimes, i have those crazy anxiety's going on in my head, and i was wondering how you guys feel at this point :>

How sure is it that you do not loose anything, all your money and watches in life? How secure are you? For example if anything happens, when you become sick or loose your job.. How does this work for you guys? I have big trouble with insecurities, sometimes it is a big anxiety for me that i can loose eventually anything and everything i own, my money my watches my roof above my head etc.. It would lighten my problems if you all guys are also not entirely sure you won't loose anything
But sometimes it feels like i am the only one that feels so insecure…..

It can really be so big anxities that it can ruin my whole ''day'' and my pleasure on the things i do...

Does anyone feel the same anxities every now and than? And how do you deal with them? I think a lot of this anxities have to do that i lost a lot of people in recent year. I still have my girlfriend and my parents but the rest of the people i loved i lost like all, in a matter of a few years….. it makes me real sad and it brings such a dark shadow over my life that i basicly ''cant really smile anymore''

Last week, i got a panic attack right on the street, the feeling that someone cut my throat, i was familar with this feeling allready for several years but last weeks i became to afraid to even go to the shops anymore

In fact, you can basicly say that i lost all ''pleasure'' in my days for quite some time now.. And these anxities about the future aren't helping me for sure.

First, I hope you don't feel any shame feeling this way. To some extent everyone has different levels of anxiety and different mechanisms for how they deal with them. It may also vary with age and situations that heighten or diminish the anxiety one may feel at any time. As I neared retirement, I was second guessing my readiness, mortality, etc even though I knew my finances were sewn up 20 different ways for my wife and I to live comfortably many years in retirement and we are both healthy. I sought help from a professional even though I didn't want to because I realized my emotions were affecting the quality of my life. Long story short, half a dozen sessions and some mild meds have all but eliminated my anxieties and I am much more relaxed and happy. Even my OCD tendencies with material goods and worrying about non-existent health possibilities are largely gone. It's exhilarating and liberating to feel so much less anxious.
Good luck.

[crazymcmichael]

Originally Posted by Terrakot

Meanwhile, if you drink a coffee, try to limit yourself to 1-2 cups before lunch

Terrakot,

Thank you for your message.. Do you have any experience with coffee that cause panic attacks? i am in a doubt, i feel last times after a cup of coffee indeed my throat being cut allready a bit.. Do you think this is possible ? Than i will stop completely with coffee!
I do drink a LOT of coffee....
Especially in the morning this feeling is worse when i drink coffee than in the evening or later on the day??

[Chester01]

Originally Posted by crazymcmichael

Terrakot,

Thank you for your message.. Do you have any experience with coffee that cause panic attacks? i am in a doubt, i feel last times after a cup of coffee indeed my throat being cut allready a bit.. Do you think this is possible ? Than i will stop completely with coffee!
I do drink a LOT of coffee....
Especially in the morning this feeling is worse when i drink coffee than in the evening or later on the day??

Yes, I treated a fellow with anxiety which was significantly exacerbated by coffee consumption. He was consuming 6-8 per day. He cut back to 2 and it made a big difference.

[GB-man]

Without question caffeine is a stimulant and consuming it in large quantities can trigger panic attacks. I get the occasional bout of anxiety and I had to cut way back on caffeine. Single shots of espresso in my lattes etc

You should definitely seek professional help. Most therapists are not petos so you should not let that experience dissuade you.

Alternatively try hitting the gym every morning 6 days a week and I will be damned if it doesn't help tremendously.

[crazymcmichael]

Originally Posted by Chester01

Yes, I treated a fellow with anxiety which was significantly exacerbated by coffee consumption. He was consuming 6-8 per day. He cut back to 2 and it made a big difference.

I must confess, i feel the tight throat thing ''globus sensation'' also after a cup of coffee.. Especially earlier in the day prior my ''activities'' i also drink quite a lot of coffee.. I will try to cut it to 2 and in a week or so will quit completely just because i think it isn't bad to try at all..

[FTX I]

Originally Posted by GB-man

Without question caffeine is a stimulant and consuming it in large quantities can trigger panic attacks. I get the occasional bout of anxiety and I had to cut way back on caffeine. Single shots of espresso in my lattes etc

You should definitely seek professional help. Most therapists are not petos so you should not let that experience dissuade you.

Alternatively try hitting the gym every morning 6 days a week and I will be damned if it doesn't help tremendously.

Exactly and I should go back asap too for different reasons. There's a nice gym right across the street but at 49 I'm getting lazy. Will do that soon I'm sure. However, exercise will help the OP no question but what he described won't go away with just that IMO. I know psychoanalysis/therapy is not something for everyone because first you need to admit it would be good for you, then there's money spent, trust as well and also time and dedication, so I'm glad I went through all that (psychoanalysis) when I was 18 until I was 22. I used to be extremely jealous of my girlfriend at the time and that was the trigger for me to start the process. I had time and means to 'study' myself along with formal education and I'm really glad I did. Changed my life for better. Two years after I finished it I started my business, couple years later I met my girl and we've been together for 20 years, I mean, could not have been better for me. Those who think they need should try it.

[SearChart]

Yeah... Anxieties... I'm a big hypochondriac, I struggle with it a lot from time to time, side effect of my autism, I guess...

[crazymcmichael]

Originally Posted by FTX I

Exactly and I should go back asap too for different reasons. There's a nice gym right across the street but at 49 I'm getting lazy. Will do that soon I'm sure. However, exercise will help the OP no question but what he described won't go away with just that IMO. I know psychoanalysis/therapy is not something for everyone because first you need to admit it would be good for you, then there's money spent, trust as well and also time and dedication, so I'm glad I went through all that (psychoanalysis) when I was 18 until I was 22. I used to be extremely jealous of my girlfriend at the time and that was the trigger for me to start the process. I had time and means to 'study' myself along with formal education and I'm really glad I did. Changed my life for better. Two years after I finished it I started my business, couple years later I met my girl and we've been together for 20 years, I mean, could not have been better for me. Those who think they need should try it.

I do train 3 sometimes 4 times a week. I am very strong aswell....... 220 kilo deadlift 200 kilo squat 130 kilo benchpress

[Terrakot]

Originally Posted by crazymcmichael

Terrakot,

Thank you for your message.. Do you have any experience with coffee that cause panic attacks? i am in a doubt, i feel last times after a cup of coffee indeed my throat being cut allready a bit.. Do you think this is possible ? Than i will stop completely with coffee!
I do drink a LOT of coffee....
Especially in the morning this feeling is worse when i drink coffee than in the evening or later on the day??

Yes, I have. I suffered from anxities (hypochondria), panic attacks, back pains and tachycardia/bradicardia. On the 4th or 5th round of doctors visits I decided to see a therapist. She told me to stop drink so much coffee, visit swimming pool 2-3 times per week, yoga and prescribed very light AD. All these symptoms was caused by stress
Now I do much much better
Her main idea was that I collect a negative emotions during the day and this emotions/stress should be released with physical exercises
I’m not sure about meds. I always was against AD without really big necessity

Sorry for mistakes, writing on the run))

[mcstones]

Originally Posted by Snow-Dweller

I had a life-threatening experience 18 months ago. Since then I have learned to see through a lot of the bullshit and to say “I don’t give a f...”.

It’s a very liberating philosophy.

Also, you should read this book...



Be healthy and happy my friend.

A time comes in life you realize this is the most health and happy way to live.

[crazymcmichael]

Originally Posted by Terrakot

Yes, I have. I suffered from anxities (hypochondria), panic attacks, back pains and tachycardia/bradicardia. On the 4th or 5th round of doctors visits I decided to see a therapist. She told me to stop drink so much coffee, visit swimming pool 2-3 times per week, yoga and prescribed very light AD. All these symptoms was caused by stress
Now I do much much better
Her main idea was that I collect a negative emotions during the day and this emotions/stress should be released with physical exercises
I’m not sure about meds. I always was against AD without really big necessity

Sorry for mistakes, writing on the run))

I see, i have had hypochondria in the past.. But i have zero stress about my health anymore, i would even say reversed… The problem is that i might havent had real hypochondria after all, i had a lot of strange symptoms and later on, now we suspect something but it can be really hard to find whats wrong.. Anyway, i don't have stress about health issues anymore.. It is just very frustrating to be Always so tired that you can't do anything.

I used AD when i was younger but i became really weird of them. Very ''happy'' and strange.. My humour went so weird that everybody thought i was so crazy and that wasnt a solution to me aswell
like singing very very very loud right on the street or doing weird kind of things … i am weird from myself but i went so weird that it was like 1 big comedy at that time.

i see you are from Russia. I really sort of like Russia besides that it is quite depressing i must say..

[SunTzu]

Admitting it is the first step, and a bold one. Sadly, issues like these have been stigmatized whereas a diagnosis of high BP or diabetes is not. The human brain is so complex and extremely smart people are still figuring it out. Treating it is what's difficult because there's no one protocol to deal with your brain chemisty like high BP or a fractured wrist.

You can do stuff on your own such as weaning off coffee and moving to decaf by mixing the two over time until you have all decaf. Secondly, I would exercise. Get to a low key gym and walk on a treadmill or ride a stationary bike. It'll get your heart rate up, provide and outlet for stress and release feel good chemicals. I do that and watch Law an Order on the TV and an hour passes like that! I would follow through with the suggestions of meditation and such to provide the cognitive therapy you need. In essence, to be able to talk yourself down when a break through occurs.

Definitely, without a doubt consult a mental health professional. And do your homework and find a GOOD one. Someone who'll walk you through and make sense of what's going on in your mind. And although medication is way over prescribed; in your case it may help. Often times starting with a low dose of an anti-depressant. Often times people just see their primary care and get 30 Xanax and wind up chewing them like candy and then get more and more. An anti-depressant is something that'll build a blood level to keep you on an even level and not require the situational use of a Xanax.

As long as you get beyond the stigma, make some changes in your life and seek out quality, professional help; you'll be able to manage and keep under control what you're experiencing.

[timedate]

I have been told that the human condition is basically one of anxiety, frustration, struggle and many other emotions,

The concept of 'being happy' isnt really part of our existence,

Happiness is a fleeting thing, it can be there for 5 minutes and then be gone for 2 weeks, the pursuit of it leaves us unhappy.

What you are feeling carmichael is actually an enhanced state of what everybody feels, i feel like this so often and it really weighs down your everyday living experience, its been there since i was very young,

My early years were totally engulfed by suffering other peoples craziness, my parents, my grandparents, a broken home, neurotic mother, and a highly immature and weak father,


Never ever underestimate the power of normal, strong, mature parents,

They are the bedrock of what you will feel later on in life, weak absent parenting will breed the insecurity which then creates the anxiety.


A basic level of anxiety and stress is necessary to motivate us and keep us safe, it's when it becomes too high that the depression sets in.


Just be a great parent and break the cycle.