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8 January 2020, 02:42 AM | #1 |
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Let's hear your 2 line jokes.
Ok. Here's the rules.
1. Two lines - short and sweet. 2. It's got to be funny. 3. Must fit within the forum rules. I'll start... My grandpa started walking 5 miles a day when he was 60. He's now 97 and we have no idea where the heck he is.
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8 January 2020, 03:15 AM | #2 |
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What time does Sean Connery show up to Wimbledon?
Tennish |
8 January 2020, 03:22 AM | #3 |
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What do you call a guy with not arms and no legs on your door step? Mat
Floating in the lake? Bob Hanging on your wall? Art Floating in the ocean? Skip Laying in a pile of leaves? Russel Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro |
8 January 2020, 03:25 AM | #4 |
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Women...you can’t live them. Pass the beer nuts.
By Norm Peterson from Cheers Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro |
8 January 2020, 03:30 AM | #5 | |
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Quote:
It don’t matter, he ain’t coming.
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8 January 2020, 03:31 AM | #6 | |
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Quote:
Two guys hanging above a window: Curt & Rod Guy and a Girl on a BBQ Grill: Frank and Patty Girl in a Cash Register: Penny Two guys on the floor smelling bad: Ralph & Chuck Where you do find a guy with no arms and no legs? Right where you left him. |
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8 January 2020, 03:51 AM | #7 |
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A girl with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen
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8 January 2020, 04:03 AM | #8 |
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Rollie
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8 January 2020, 04:04 AM | #9 |
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well... well.
Two holes in the ground. |
8 January 2020, 04:06 AM | #10 |
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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink.
Bartender says no charge for you. Randy |
8 January 2020, 10:23 AM | #11 |
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What did the blind man say as he walked by the fishstore?
Good morning ladies. |
8 January 2020, 02:13 PM | #12 |
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Why did the spider cross the street?
To get to the next website. |
8 January 2020, 02:27 PM | #13 |
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea |
8 January 2020, 02:28 PM | #14 |
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9 January 2020, 12:01 AM | #15 |
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My wife and I decided we didn't want any children...we're going to tell them in the morning.
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9 January 2020, 12:15 AM | #16 |
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What was Jack the Rippers dog called?
Jack the Russell ..... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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9 January 2020, 12:16 AM | #17 |
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What do you call a deer with no eyes & no legs? Still no idea.... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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9 January 2020, 12:20 AM | #18 |
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Why do farts smell?
So the deaf can enjoy them too... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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9 January 2020, 12:28 AM | #19 |
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Let's hear your 2 line jokes.
2 snowmen talking....one says “can you smell carrots” ?
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9 January 2020, 12:30 AM | #20 |
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I used to be a werewolf.....but I’m alright nowooooooooooiiiiiii
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9 January 2020, 12:32 AM | #21 |
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Why has a milking stool only got 3 legs?
‘cos the cows got the udder Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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9 January 2020, 01:05 AM | #22 |
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Where does the Policeman live?
999 Letsby Avenue Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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9 January 2020, 01:32 AM | #23 |
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I threw a boomerang a few years ago.
I now live in constant fear. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
9 January 2020, 03:00 AM | #24 |
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9 January 2020, 03:12 AM | #25 |
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A man goes to the zoo and the only animal there is one dog.
It is a shitzhu. |
9 January 2020, 06:22 AM | #26 |
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Why do a pack of birds follow a single bird?
He’s the one with the map. |
9 January 2020, 06:25 AM | #27 |
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How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one but the light bulb needs to want to change on its own. |
9 January 2020, 06:57 AM | #28 |
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one but it takes 9 visits.
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9 January 2020, 06:58 AM | #29 |
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What do you call a cow laying on the ground?
Ground beef |
9 January 2020, 07:01 AM | #30 |
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