Sobriety / Teetotaling

[joeychitwood]

Originally Posted by timedate

i love a few beers, it does you good,

To be an alcoholic takes constant getting hammered every day, most people are not alcoholics,

drinking every day does not mean you are alcoholic, its how much, and whether you could stop or not.

But being sober around boozers is horrible, quite revolting.

I've remained sober around drinking friends for 32 years. I don't find it revolting whatsoever. And your definition of an "alcoholic" needs a bit of fine tuning.

[timedate]

Originally Posted by joeychitwood

I've remained sober around drinking friends for 32 years. I don't find it revolting whatsoever. And your definition of an "alcoholic" needs a bit of fine tuning.

maybe they are not drinking enough, i find aggression, slurring and foul mouth obscenity revolting

fine tune my definition for me


regards.

[Joeguy]

It’s not the alcohol in this case. Alcohol provides valuable life lessons that we would otherwise miss. In wine; truth ...or whatever. That is true. It lowers inhibitions and allows you to interact more freely and meaningfully with others.

A disinterested outside observer might see the situation differently. They might say you learned the following;

1. Pick your companions carefully, especially when going into a chaotic situation. If you don’t know them yet, don’t lose control/drink around them till you do.

2. When someone decides they are going to enter into some archetypal struggle, they should do it to win or not do it. If you don’t like what the results might look like if you lose (or even if you win) don’t do it.

2a. Always be prepared to be in some high stakes archetype situation. They are all around us and we usually miss the point. When we don’t learn the lesson presented, we always will have to repeat the class.

3. Play stupid games ( trolling some dude because there are more of you), you’ll get stupid prizes (threat of death). That is poetic justice. All is right with the world.

4. People don’t like people taking their stuff. They might react in a way you think is unreasonable, but is completely reasonable to them.

5. You learned what type of friend you were to that person. He learned also that you don’t value him more than your life. Basically you aren’t friends, just acquaintances. That’s cool to know for the future for both of you. No harm done.

6. You learned what it’s like to be the weaker party in a confrontation. Remember that the next time you are in the stronger position and someone else is at your mercy. Giving some thought to that dynamic will help you get what you want without having to pull the proverbial “trigger”. That will be a hugely valuable thought process for the rest of your life.

7. You wouldn’t have this cool story.

8. Everyone, even the boyfriend, knows something you don’t. Now you know some things others don’t. You also know them in a meaningful way, unlike the people who watched TV that night instead.

9. Don’t set idly by while someone else determines your possible future. Take an active role in your destiny.

10. Every time you are on the verge of screwing up, there is a little voice that says, beforehand, don’t do this. Don’t ignore the voice anymore.

11. If you had got shot that night it would have been your fault. There are things that are worth getting shot for, that’s not my point. You were at the helm of your life the whole time. While you didn’t steer intentionally toward the shoals, you certainly didn’t steer with the intent of avoiding them.

12. We can argue little details that might swing on cultural differences, but that aside, the boyfriend did the right thing. When he asked her there he realized that he as a male had a responsibility for her safety at the hands of other males. He didn’t know you were well civilized. He knew you were a threat to her (on many levels). You were a “mob”. He was the only one there who could protect her in that moment and he was prepared to do it. BRAVO to him.

I think there are a lot of other lessons to be learned and thankfully you can avoid simplifying it.

If he had shot someone, you could have got a better lawyer and won. Then you would learn that wealth = right. But he was in the right and you weren’t. The danger of that is that lesson only works in “civilization” and won’t help at all the next time you find yourself in a situation that moves faster than a lawyer or your bank account ie the business end of something that moves at thousands of FPS. Ergo: it was the wrong lesson to learn.

Another unfortunate lesson would be to ignore the moving parts of the situation and say, “Oh, I just won’t drink any more.” Not you of course, but someone who learned that untruth, might decide it was okay to have a relationship with a married coworker if they “had so much in common”. No alcohol involved... but everything else is still in play. Someone would pay for that missed lesson. It might be your kids. Or hers. Or you. Or everyone.



Why is alcohol valuable? You learned all that stuff in 20 minutes in a bar instead of in the boardroom over years. It was a great experience. Your life just got infinitely better. Vive le Vin... or something like that.

Disclaimers:
~Alcoholics shouldn’t drink probably and
~ Never do anything to excess, and
~ If any of this seems condescending or flippant, I think it is a product of the impersonal characteristics of text. I truly enjoyed the thread, the opinions and story. I offer a flawed analysis in the interest of discourse and differing perspectives.
#oldpeopleramblings






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[Jim M]

After a couple of years of "hard" daily drinking bourbon or single malt scotch, I gave it up for a year starting in April 2015.

No withdrawal or detox affects.

Before during and after my blood pressure was 110/70ish, LDL 70ish, HDL 150ish and Try 55ish for annual physicals.


My weight did go from 205# to 145# and waist from 38" to 32". Big difference on my 5' 8" frame.


Dr. told me I was "annoyingly healthy" for a 60 year old considering what I eat, drink and how I party.

Currently at 185# with 36" waist.

Only exercise before during and after was walking about 3 miles a day locally and 5 miles on ocean boardwalk on weekends.

Folk I grew up with are still in disbelief that it is remotely possible let alone real.

[timedate]

my dad drunk all the time, not nice to be around, when i was a kid he would make homebrew,

he once drank 22 pints in a day, from 8am until midnight,

he died in 2015 of oesophegal cancer aged 79

he was an alcoholic, and a compulsive gambler, he shunned parental and personal responsibilty

[SearChart]

Originally Posted by timedate

maybe they are not drinking enough, i find aggression, slurring and foul mouth obscenity revolting

fine tune my definition for me


regards.

Yeah, drunk people are no fun to hang out with.

[joeychitwood]

Originally Posted by timedate

maybe they are not drinking enough, i find aggression, slurring and foul mouth obscenity revolting

fine tune my definition for me

maybe they are not drinking enough, i find aggression, slurring and foul mouth obscenity revolting

Perhaps the problem isn't the alcohol. It's the character of the people you hang around with.

fine tune my definition for me

This was your definition: To be an alcoholic takes constant getting hammered every day

The medical definition: Alcohol use disorder (which includes a level that's sometimes called alcoholism) is a pattern of alcohol use that involves problems controlling your drinking, being preoccupied with alcohol, continuing to use alcohol even when it causes problems, having to drink more to get the same effect, or having withdrawal symptoms when you rapidly decrease or stop drinking.

[Knappo 1307]

Edible THC works for me. No hangover and I can cope with the drinkers. Only on occasion, not an everyday thing.

[BLACKHORSE 6]

When I drink, it’s only one and only in a social setting. Will nurse a single, good bourbon or scotch all night. Usually happens once a month or so.

All things in moderation.

[timedate]

Originally Posted by joeychitwood

maybe they are not drinking enough, i find aggression, slurring and foul mouth obscenity revolting

Perhaps the problem isn't the alcohol. It's the character of the people you hang around with.

fine tune my definition for me

This was your definition: To be an alcoholic takes constant getting hammered every day

The medical definition: Alcohol use disorder (which includes a level that's sometimes called alcoholism) is a pattern of alcohol use that involves problems controlling your drinking, being preoccupied with alcohol, continuing to use alcohol even when it causes problems, having to drink more to get the same effect, or having withdrawal symptoms when you rapidly decrease or stop drinking.

alcohol changes the character of people,


and it seems like we concur on the definition of alcoholism, the medical definition sounds pretty much like someone 'who constantly gets hammered everyday'


have a good day

regards.

[gabrielnovar]

I stopped alcohol due to aging effects is has on the body. Lots of it is genetics, but alcohol is so dehydrating. The net benefit just isn't there for me anymore.


However I always found out drinking during the day/socially at events during the day was always much better than at night for recovery.

Oh well tea and coffee for me

[SearChart]

Originally Posted by Knappo 1307

Edible THC works for me. No hangover and I can cope with the drinkers. Only on occasion, not an everyday thing.

Edibles are pretty hardcore, I don't mess around with them anymore.
Smoking messes too much with my lungs, so I went for a dry herb vaporizer (Arizer Solo II), simply put the reefer in the 'bowl' and evaporate the thc, it is amazing and gives a lot of control over dosage.

[jrs146]

I enjoy beer, alcohol and wine. But I hate getting drunk. Even these days a small buzz leaves me feeling cloudy the next day. I often have a few drinks, but I try not to go over the threshold and pace myself so I’m never actually intoxicated. My limit is usually about 3 beers, 3 glasses of wine or two hard drinks. However I may stretch it a bit if it’s over s longer period of time. For me, I’ve found this to be a better solution than giving it up.


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[Langnam]

You’re spot on about the aging effects of liquor. I wasn’t really noticing that while being a drinker, but now nearly 3 years after I stopped drinking, I have never looked better.

Just with moderate exercise and lucky genetics, people say and think I’m 10-12 years younger than I am.

That was not the case when imbibing.




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[Knappo 1307]

Originally Posted by SearChart

Edibles are pretty hardcore, I don't mess around with them anymore.
Smoking messes too much with my lungs, so I went for a dry herb vaporizer (Arizer Solo II), simply put the reefer in the 'bowl' and evaporate the thc, it is amazing and gives a lot of control over dosage.

You definitely have to know what you're doing and dosing with edibles or oils.

[SearChart]

Originally Posted by Knappo 1307

You definitely have to know what you're doing and dosing with edibles or oils.

I learned that the hard way

[superdog]

Originally Posted by SearChart

I learned that the hard way

I heard that.

A buddy hid under the covers in Colorado for two days.

From a gummy bear...

[SearChart]

Originally Posted by superdog

I heard that.



A buddy hid under the covers in Colorado for two days.



From a gummy bear...

Never trust the gummy bears!!

[superdog]

Originally Posted by Langnam

You’re spot on about the aging effects of liquor. I wasn’t really noticing that while being a drinker, but now nearly 3 years after I stopped drinking, I have never looked better.

Just with moderate exercise and lucky genetics, people say and think I’m 10-12 years younger than I am.

That was not the case when imbibing.




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This is likely the most compelling reason for me.

For better or worse, I’ve no adverse effects from drinking. Except maybe a few extra pounds and a little less motivation.

I did however just see some people I hadn’t seen in a few years. I was told I looked “older”.

I could use with a little less dehydration.

[superdog]

Originally Posted by SearChart

Never trust the gummy bears!!

Exactly!!

[Abdullah71601]

Originally Posted by superdog

This is likely the most compelling reason for me.

For better or worse, I’ve no adverse effects from drinking. Except maybe a few extra pounds and a little less motivation.

I did however just see some people I hadn’t seen in a few years. I was told I looked “older”.

I could use with a little less dehydration.

It's patina. People pay top dollar for it.

[Pauln]

Originally Posted by andromeda160

I’m 25, been to rehab twice since May, 2017. Alcohol is a tough demon to kick. I needed a minimum of a pint and a 6 pack every night, shot of vodka in my red bull every morning. I don’t ever see my back really wanting to drink again. Doesn’t take long before I end up close to death again. My pleasure center has been royally screwed since I quit drinking. Ruined an amazing relationship because of it. Ruined trust with family and close friends. Hell almost got kicked off here a few times in drunken binges. My life is much easier today. Been working on starting my own business and have been self employed since October. Sober since dec13 18 6 months is closing in fast

Big congrats!

[ras47]

Sober since December 9th 1988. First couple weeks was easy as I was still reeling emotionally from that weekend. Or what I remember of it.

A month later it was difficult. It was more the social pressure and force of habit. Never had physical withdrawal symptoms but I didn't know what to do with myself if I wasn't having a drink.

Six months later I was figuring out how to be sober and how to avoid the knee-jerk impulses to order a drink.

After that it just got easier and easier to be sober. I started to notice how much easier the little things were. Getting home after dinner out with friends, after barbecues, etc. No worries about driving.

Seven years later we were having our first kid and I was grateful that alcohol was not part of my life. I never tried to simply moderate my drinking. Wouldn't work for me. The only way was to make a hard and fast rule; NO alcohol. I stay sober now for me and also for my family. We go to a party somewhere, my wife has a couple glasses of wine and enjoys herself. I have a couple Diet Cokes and enjoy myself. Driving home is easy because I have my whits about me and am 100% unimpaired. I cannot overstate how important that is to me, protecting my family.

It gets easier and easier as time goes on. I don't miss it one bit now. I'm never tempted to drink and I have no problem being with folks who are enjoying a drink. A bunch of us go out to dinner, there's wine and beer on the table, some Margaritas, and a soda or club soda for me. Heck, often the gang asks me to order the wine for them, trusting that I know everyone's taste, budget, and what's good. Not even a sip for me though. And now the gang as a built-in designated driver. One thing I've strived hard to do is not make others uncomfortable having a drink while I refrain.

[ras47]

...duplicate...

[Scapegoat]

Just checking back on everyone. How are ya’ll doing?

[Star Ferry]

Originally Posted by Scapegoat

Just checking back on everyone. How are ya’ll doing?

currently dead sober at a Tim Horton's, but at risk of gaining weight

[Langnam]

Originally Posted by Scapegoat

Just checking back on everyone. How are ya’ll doing?

Coming in hot on 1000 days sober.

Never looked back after my last drink.


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[Wesley Crusher]

Originally Posted by superdog

I heard that.

A buddy hid under the covers in Colorado for two days.

From a gummy bear...

Similar situation with my mom. The first (and only) time she tried a brownie, she took a small bite and told me about 20 minutes later that she didn’t feel anything. I told her to eat the whole thing and she was glued to the sofa for the whole day hiding under a blanket.

She said it was the worst experience of her life, but I thought it was hilarious.

[DonBateman]

Originally Posted by timedate

my dad drunk all the time, not nice to be around, when i was a kid he would make homebrew,

he once drank 22 pints in a day, from 8am until midnight,

he died in 2015 of oesophegal cancer aged 79

he was an alcoholic, and a compulsive gambler, he shunned parental and personal responsibilty

Sorry to hear that. These are the stories where people have very little patience for alcohol. It does impact people differently, however I think if someone lets alcohol take over their life like that, they have other problems beyond alcohol. Alcohol enhances those problems.

[TheVTCGuy]

Originally Posted by superdog

I heard that.

A buddy hid under the covers in Colorado for two days.

From a gummy bear...

Originally Posted by SearChart

Never trust the gummy bears!!

Funny story about those bears... I do not partake in THC, oh some experimentation in college, but since I chose a military career, that ended quickly. Even when it was legalized here in California I had no interest. Well, I have problems with insomnia, and a young lady friend suggested I try a form of THC. She said it would relax me. So, she bought me a bag of gummy bears and recommended I took four, for a total of 20 grams; (does that sound right? ) Anyway, she partakes regularly, so has quite a resistance, something I probably should have taken in to account. Well, I took three one night, ate them and sat around watching TV. Two hours later, I was thinking: “This hasn’t done anything!” And I got up out of my chair...

.... I flew right off the ground, in to my kitchen, through the microwave oven and wall behind it, into the unit behind me and out their kitchen, living room and front door. I was higher then a Blackbird!!!! I ended up hiding underneath the covers like your friend Seth, so I know what he felt like. Oh, and as to helping me sleep? Uh NO. I was too freaked out to even relax!