Zen Teachings

[Dr. Robert]

1) Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow......in fact,
just piss off & leave me alone.

2)Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.

3) No one is listening, until you fart.

4) Always remember you are unique. Just like everyone else.

5) Never test the depth of the water w/ both feet.

6) If you think no one cares if you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of
rent/mortgage payments.

7) Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away & you have their shoes.

8) If at first you don't succeed......skydiving is not for you.

9) Give a man a fish & he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish & he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

10) If you lend someone $20. & never see that person again......it was
probably well worth it.

11) If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12) Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

13) Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14) Good judgement comes from bad experience......& most of that comes
from bad judgement.

15) A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16) There are 2 excellent theories for arguing w/ women. Neither one works.

17) Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18) Experience is something you don't get......until just after you need it.

19) We are born naked, wet & hungry, & then get slapped on the ass......
then things just keep getting worse.

20) Never, under any circumstance, take a sleeping pill & a laxative on
the same night.

[perpetualman88]

bahahaha #20 for sure

[Porsche]

Excellent

[mjclark32]

hahaah

[Art 1]

[bgriz]

[FeelingTheBlues]

[TSW]

[ammyrodrics]

hahhhaaha nice

[eric23]

[mitchy]

[Route 66]

Good ones Doc!

[SWIMPRUF]