ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX
10 February 2017, 08:37 AM | #1 |
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11 bad ones, but what the heck
1. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.
Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind. 2. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, John woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely. 3. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics after they tested positive for WD 40. 4. A teenage boy asks his granny: Have you seen my pills? They were labeled LSD? Granny replies: The hell with the pills, did you see the dragons in the kitchen? 5. Wife gets naked and asks hubby: What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body? Hubby looks her up and down and replies: Your sense of humor! (Hospital visiting hours are 5:00 to 6:00.) 6. A chap's wife is back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all he did was suggest they should hold auditions for her part.(His viewing will be Saturday from 7:00 till 8:30. ) 7. I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster. 8 . I woke up this morning at 9:30, and could sense something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonalds serves breakfast all day. 9 . My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door. She screamed: "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" I replied: "Oh, so now you want me to stay? 10. Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. When we went to the fair last night it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel. 11 . The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her: "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!" (The doctor says I should be able to see again in about ten days. The broken arm will take about a month. )
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Rolex Sea-Dweller SD43 Rolex D-blue- Rolex Hulk Rolex TT Sub- Rolex SD4000 Omega Ploprof 1200 m Panerai 510 Panerai 785 set-NIB Rolex Airking |
10 February 2017, 09:09 AM | #2 |
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funny you made my day !!
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10 February 2017, 09:13 AM | #3 |
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Real Name: Beau
Location: Avila Beach, CA
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Number 11 reminds me:
I asked my pop if he's ever slept with a blond, he said "yes." How about a brunette? "Yes." What about a redhead? To which he replied "didn't sleep a wink."
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I am the milkman of human kindness. |
10 February 2017, 10:06 AM | #4 |
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10 February 2017, 11:48 AM | #5 |
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10 February 2017, 12:19 PM | #6 |
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10 February 2017, 02:00 PM | #7 |
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NEVER ARGUE WITH AN IDIOT. FIRST THEY WILL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL. THEN, THEY WILL BEAT YOU WITH EXPERIENCE. |
14 February 2017, 10:02 AM | #8 |
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Great.
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14 February 2017, 12:48 PM | #9 |
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Real Name: Jim
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I like #7. May use that one!
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14 February 2017, 09:43 PM | #10 |
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14 February 2017, 09:45 PM | #11 |
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:)
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16 February 2017, 12:12 PM | #12 |
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23 February 2017, 04:59 PM | #13 |
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Real Name: Alex
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funny you
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23 February 2017, 10:00 PM | #14 |
Some of those made me laugh out loud. Thanks!
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25 February 2017, 01:00 AM | #15 |
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hamster coat. priceless!. thank you!!
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25 February 2017, 07:15 PM | #16 |
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Nice one arizonapaul
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28 February 2017, 01:20 PM | #17 |
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Those were really good. I'm still laughing.
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28 February 2017, 01:49 PM | #18 |
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Quite a few made me chuckle out loud... thanks
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1 March 2017, 10:15 AM | #19 |
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The wife ones are amazing! Especially 2 and 5!
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31 March 2017, 12:03 PM | #20 |
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Great!!!!
Funny you |
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