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padi56 · 28 June 2005, 06:02 PM

This is a true story.

Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy:

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in London. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an email he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio station, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This £10,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my bum started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bum started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ars# was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ars#. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry recompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my helmet mask. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ars# as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't sh#t for 2 days because my ars# hole was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ars#.

alpet · 28 June 2005, 10:09 PM

I havent had a laugh like this in a while.....

Rockrolex · 28 June 2005, 10:42 PM

Padi, are you sure this doesn't belong on the Jokes board.

Too funny, but agonizing as well. I laughed

, I cried

. . . .

dman · 28 June 2005, 10:54 PM

ROTFLMAO!! That is some funny sh*rt!!

Uncle-AJ · 28 June 2005, 11:05 PM

Poor sod, I really feel for him.

Manatee · 28 June 2005, 11:14 PM

Yuk!

What?! My message has to be at least 10 characters? Ok.

Rockrolex · 28 June 2005, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manatee

Yuk!

What?! My message has to be at least 10 characters? Ok.

I've discovered that, too. I keep meaning to ask Rev about that, but never quite get around to it.

padi56 · 29 June 2005, 12:00 AM

I got stung once by fire coral,that was painful for 2 weeks.Made a rule after never
dive,without a full wet-suite or a polypropylene or lycra skin.

Uncle-AJ · 29 June 2005, 01:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by padi56

This is a true story.
Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. :

I guess the jellyfish became a bottom-dweller as well.

Or was he gay??

padi56 · 29 June 2005, 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uncle-AJ

I guess the jellyfish became a bottom-dweller as well.

Or was he gay??

I remember reading about a pair of gays,with a gerbil and a cardboard inner
toilet tube, that one had me ROTFLMFAO,but that one will keep to later.

Uncle-AJ · 29 June 2005, 02:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by padi56

I remember reading about a pair of gays,with a gerbil and a cardboard inner
toilet tube, that one had me ROTFLMFAO,but that one will keep to later.

Yes, felch that one out later.

JJ Irani · 29 June 2005, 04:40 AM

LOL! or Cry? This is seriously funny sh!t!! I wasn't sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for that bloke.....this would have to be a unique incident....ever!!

dman · 29 June 2005, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by padi56

I remember reading about a pair of gays,with a gerbil and a cardboard inner
toilet tube, that one had me ROTFLMFAO,but that one will keep to later.

LMAO!! That should be kept till way later mate!! LOL!!

RogerF · 29 June 2005, 07:27 AM

baseballduck · 4 July 2005, 01:03 PM

Thank you for such an awesome joke oh great Padi. lol I'm still trying to figure out what's funnier; the pain, or the incident. rofl

Tyler

padi56 · 4 July 2005, 05:34 PM

I can assure you any type,of jelly fish sting,would have been reassuringly painful.

28 June 2005, 06:02 PM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,389	Having A Bad Day ? This is a true story. Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy: Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in London. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an email he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio station, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won. Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This £10,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my bum started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bum started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ars# was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ars#. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry recompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my helmet mask. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ars# as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't sh#t for 2 days because my ars# hole was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ars#.

28 June 2005, 10:42 PM	#3
Rockrolex TRF Moderator & 2024 DATE-JUST41 Patron Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: God Location: Washington, D.C. Watch: What do you think? Posts: 37,546	Padi, are you sure this doesn't belong on the Jokes board. Too funny, but agonizing as well. I laughed , I cried . . . . __________________ Despite the high cost of living, it's still very popular. *Tosser Cabinet Member* Official Member: 'Perpetual 30' Vegas International GTG 2016 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2017 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2018 Official Member "WIS-CON" Las Vegas International GTG 2019

28 June 2005, 10:09 PM	#2
alpet Moderator Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: Alex Location: New York Watch: me carefully Posts: 377	I havent had a laugh like this in a while.....

28 June 2005, 10:54 PM	#4
dman Lifetime TRF Patron Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: Daren Location: Austin Watch: the road Posts: 13,583	ROTFLMAO!! That is some funny sh*rt!!

28 June 2005, 11:05 PM	#5
Uncle-AJ "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Real Name: Adrian Location: Bolton, UK. Watch: Daytona 116520 Posts: 6,844	Poor sod, I really feel for him.

28 June 2005, 11:14 PM	#6
Manatee Banned Join Date: May 2005 Location: Washington DC Are Posts: 677	Yuk! What?! My message has to be at least 10 characters? Ok.

29 June 2005, 12:00 AM	#8
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,389	I got stung once by fire coral,that was painful for 2 weeks.Made a rule after never dive,without a full wet-suite or a polypropylene or lycra skin.

29 June 2005, 04:40 AM	#12
JJ Irani Fondly Remembered Join Date: May 2005 Real Name: JJ Location: Auckland, NZ Watch: ALL SOLD!! Posts: 74,320	LOL! or Cry? This is seriously funny sh!t!! I wasn't sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for that bloke.....this would have to be a unique incident....ever!!

29 June 2005, 07:27 AM	#14
RogerF "TRF" Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Duh! Location: Toronto Canada Watch: a gonna do? Posts: 2,573

4 July 2005, 01:03 PM	#15
baseballduck "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Real Name: Tyler Location: Pinehurst NC Watch: Explorer 214270 Posts: 1,018	Thank you for such an awesome joke oh great Padi. lol I'm still trying to figure out what's funnier; the pain, or the incident. rofl Tyler

4 July 2005, 05:34 PM	#16
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,389	I can assure you any type,of jelly fish sting,would have been reassuringly painful.

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