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Old 21 April 2019, 10:53 AM   #1
Classic 41
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A New Penis

A New Penis:

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it".

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."

The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have and she has helped me make a decision."
And what is your decision?" asks the doctor.


"We're getting granite countertops."
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Old 22 April 2019, 01:59 AM   #2
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Old 22 April 2019, 04:08 AM   #3
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Outstanding
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Well I wouldn't say I did, I wouldn't say I didn't, but I will say this,
A man who wouldn't cheat for a poke don't want one bad enough
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Old 22 April 2019, 04:13 AM   #4
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Outstanding! My wife is in tears !!!
Happy Easter !!!
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Old 22 April 2019, 04:15 AM   #5
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Now; we have guests from church and she just told them the joke and everybody is cracking up
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Old 22 April 2019, 04:35 AM   #6
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Ha!!!!!
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Old 22 April 2019, 06:18 PM   #7
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5513, 7928, 1601, 11613, 14060, 11610, 116610, ,79280P, 70330, 25600TB, 792500BM, M56000
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Old 24 April 2019, 10:53 AM   #8
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That was good
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Old 24 April 2019, 11:03 AM   #9
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The missus spat out her dummy.
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- - Your brain is almost always wrong when it comes to watches. Go with your heart, because it's your heart that will make you sick for buying the wrong watch.
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Old 25 April 2019, 03:56 AM   #10
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Old 4 May 2019, 10:37 PM   #11
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Old 5 May 2019, 04:51 AM   #12
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Old 6 May 2019, 04:00 AM   #13
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Lollll
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Old 7 May 2019, 08:28 AM   #14
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Very funny, I laughed so hard. Nice
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Old 7 May 2019, 11:43 PM   #15
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nice one
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Old 8 May 2019, 12:33 AM   #16
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Old 5 June 2019, 10:44 PM   #17
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Old 5 June 2019, 10:49 PM   #18
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My daughter my wife pretended not to hear.
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Old 5 June 2019, 11:27 PM   #19
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That's funny!
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Old 5 June 2019, 11:30 PM   #20
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Old 6 June 2019, 01:46 AM   #21
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It's funny because it's true.
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Old 8 June 2019, 12:08 PM   #22
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Hilarious


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Old 17 June 2019, 06:53 AM   #23
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too funny!
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Old 20 June 2019, 08:00 AM   #24
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Lol
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Old 9 July 2019, 03:54 AM   #25
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Jeezzz...
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Old 26 July 2019, 08:54 PM   #26
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Thatís a beauty
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