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padi56 · 27 September 2006, 09:36 PM

Rest of the world version or is it:????

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END

The Now British Version:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.

The BBC TV shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his warm home with a table laden with food.

The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of Great Britain demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi-cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome".

Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has become rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London.

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The squirrel's taxes are reassessed.

He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work.

The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.The squirrels' food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retrospective taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home.

The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with some mice. On arrival, they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs,and all things nice.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking, and attempted bombing. But were immediately released because the police had fed them pilchards, instead of salmon whilst in custody.

Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice.
The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.

A Panorama TV special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrels food, though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers' drug 'illness'.

The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit.

He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks and may have suffered enough.

He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up to find why.

Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for the bleeding lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multi-cultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequality and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.

The now very fat cats are paid a million pounds each, because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom.

The good squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.

And this is only the beginning,afraid Britain todays gone crazy.All animals names were used to rename all, and I am sure you know what,whom I was talking about..

madformac · 27 September 2006, 11:34 PM

If it were not so true of modern Britain I would find it even funnier!!!

GerardoG · 28 September 2006, 01:13 AM

Thank god this is Mexico!!!! We just don't have cold winters!!!

Goodwatch · 28 September 2006, 01:24 AM

If this story didn't remind me so much of my own country I would laugh

You work hard, study in your own free time and thus are able to earn a good salary. As a 'reward' you are forced to pay the maximum contribution on all schemes. Be it pension, social security, school money, you name it

27 September 2006, 09:36 PM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,352	In Todays Britain. Rest of the world version or is it:???? The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. THE END The Now British Version: The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed. A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving. The BBC TV shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his warm home with a table laden with food. The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of Great Britain demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi-cultural choir singing "We Shall Overcome". Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel has become rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London. In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work. The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile.The squirrels' food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retrospective taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with some mice. On arrival, they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain's apparent love of dogs,and all things nice. The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking, and attempted bombing. But were immediately released because the police had fed them pilchards, instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards. A Panorama TV special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrels food, though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers' drug 'illness'. The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK. The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks and may have suffered enough. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up to find why. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for the bleeding lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multi-cultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats. The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequality and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a minister. The now very fat cats are paid a million pounds each, because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom. The good squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds. And this is only the beginning,afraid Britain todays gone crazy.All animals names were used to rename all, and I am sure you know what,whom I was talking about.. __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

28 September 2006, 01:24 AM	#4
Goodwatch "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Real Name: Frans ® Location: Rotterdam Watch: the sunrise... Posts: 10,230	If this story didn't remind me so much of my own country I would laugh You work hard, study in your own free time and thus are able to earn a good salary. As a 'reward' you are forced to pay the maximum contribution on all schemes. Be it pension, social security, school money, you name it __________________ Member# 127

27 September 2006, 11:34 PM	#2
madformac "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2006 Real Name: Justin Location: Manchester, UK. Posts: 708	If it were not so true of modern Britain I would find it even funnier!!!

28 September 2006, 01:13 AM	#3
GerardoG Banned Join Date: Oct 2005 Real Name: Gerardo Location: Here Watch: ALL of them Posts: 32,098	Thank god this is Mexico!!!! We just don't have cold winters!!!

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