I need the ladies advice here...

[Gretsch]

Hi All,

I've been talking with this woman for awhile now and can't exactly figure out where to go from here. I really like this girl and I'm not looking for a "hookup" or anything like that.

Here's the situation:
-We've hung out with mutual friends at happy hours etc.
-There's been mutual limited flirting between us.
-She offered me her number (although it was under the auspices of meeting up with the group).
-I've asked her out on a date and she agreed.
-Schedules around the holidays have caused us to reschedule and we haven't gone out for the date yet.
-We've hung out together with friends (she's even invited me to go).
-I invited her out to lunch (one on one) and we did go out on that "date" or whatever (nice place, I paid, etc.).
-At lunch I invited her to have dinner sometime this weekend and she said yes and then said she would need to check her schedule to be sure but she seemed to like the idea.
-I left the ball in her court to let me know.
-So far, no word back on the date but we've exchanged txt etc. about other stuff.
-Weekend is almost here and I don't have an answer.

So, I'm wondering how to play it from here. I don't want to be "that guy" you know, the dude that keeps calling and bugging her. At the same time I don't want to play too aloof and make her think I'm not interested. All the signs I get seem to indicate that she's interested but then I can't seem to get her out for a real date.

There's some other factors at work too.

Here's her situation.
-I know she just got out of a serious relationship and that he ended it.
-Breakup was about a month and a half ago.

So what do you think? How should I play this so I don't end up being too pushy, too aloof, or end up in the "friend zone".

Thanks for any advice.

[The Joker]

[chicfarmer1]

If she accepted your invitation to dinner, even tentatively, she owes you the courtesy of a response by now, one way or another. Giving her the benefit of doubt of being busy or whatever, I think it's fine for you to phone or text to say, "How's the schedule shaping up?" or the like. Definitely you can nudge to see if she's really on with you. GL!

[GradyPhilpott]

No one knows the answer to that question but her.

Call and ask.

After that, you should know.

[RRGHOST1]

Don't hassel her as she still hasn't got over the last relationship. She probably doesn't know what she wants.

[Lisa]

I would ask her about it tomorrow... look her in the eye and say something like, "I didn't hear back about your schedule for the weekend. I want to be sure that going out is something you want to do. If you'd rather not, just tell me."

Then again, this is advice from someone who hasn't dated in about 25 years!

[Gretsch]

Originally Posted by rolexplorer2

Don't hassel her as she still hasn't got over the last relationship. She probably doesn't know what she wants.

Yeah, exactly what I want to avoid. Still, I'm interested and don't want to just give up.

Originally Posted by Lisa

I would ask her about it tomorrow... look her in the eye and say something like, "I didn't hear back about your schedule for the weekend. I want to be sure that going out is something you want to do. If you'd rather not, just tell me."

Then again, this is advice from someone who hasn't dated in about 25 years!

I don't have face time with her unless we intentionally meet up. I understand where you're coming from though. I don't think she's playing games. Most likely she's still getting over the other relationship and doesn't want to rush anything. Even as a grown man I still find women an enigma wrapped in a riddle.

[sperez1971]

Just ask her what the plan is for the weekend and don't Play games....

[rr-nyc]

It's way too soon to think she's even considering another relationship. If you want any shot, you'd pull back a bit.

If she's the type that would, I'd run for the hills. IMO, anyone that would jump from a long term relationship into another spells n-e-e-d-y to me.

[The Joker]

There are no rules to how much time you should leave between relationships.

I'd send her a txt on Fri, "Hiya, still wanna meet up for dinner Sat/Sun? No probs if not"

Whether it's yes or no, I'd just be happy with a reply

[keschete]

Originally Posted by chicfarmer1

If she accepted your invitation to dinner, even tentatively, she owes you the courtesy of a response by now, one way or another. Giving her the benefit of doubt of being busy or whatever, I think it's fine for you to phone or text to say, "How's the schedule shaping up?" or the like. Definitely you can nudge to see if she's really on with you. GL!

I agree 100% It is appropriate to ask her if she has time in her schedule to set a date for your date. She owes you a response.

[Widows Son]

You're trying to figure out a female???!!!! (No offense to our fine ladies here at TRF). Let her know that you're interested but don't be pushy. As a general rule most women like to be pursued, but just a little. Her situation may be different because she just came out of a relationship though. Good luck, if you figure it out, let the rest of us know.

[TheVTCGuy]

Need advice on dating women? No problem my friend. Get comfortable, relax, listen up and I'll share all my wisdom with you... Tell you everything I know about women.....


































Any Questions?

[theloxmyth]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

Need advice on dating women? No problem my friend. Get comfortable, relax, listen up and I'll share all my wisdom with you... Tell you everything I know about women.....


































Any Questions?

Don't listen to him.

[MrRolly]

Definitely a tricky situation. If you guys are at a comfortable chatting level where you'll text/talk with each other often, then give her a friendly, not too pushy text. Something like, "Hey, hows your schedule lookin this weekend?" Considering she has made plans with you before, AND said yes to the date shows that you've reached a friendly level and shows she's interested in you in some way . It can go anywhere from here. Usually (at least in my experience) girls want the men to take the initiative to make plans, call, etc. Ladies loooovvvveeee to play hard to get, just one of the many games they'll play to get our attention. I know that nobody wants to be, "that guy," (none of us do ), but sometimes you have to be, "that guy," to get things to the next level. I'm not saying text her 24/7. But don't hold back too much, especially if you want to take things to the next level. Hope my helped! Keep us posted on how it goes!

[Gretsch]

Thanks all. I wouldn't normally be so wound up but I really like this girl a lot.

[hdrazor251]

Originally Posted by Gretsch

Even as a grown man I still find women an enigma wrapped in a riddle.

Ummmm your not alone. Just saw this today.

http://news.yahoo.com/women-mystery-...135814776.html

[chicfarmer1]

It's not that complicated. Women are...wait for it... people. You know, with brains and hearts and such.

[cedargrove]

Maybe she's uncomfortable mentioning dinner since it was you who invited her. Maybe she's just waiting for you to bring it up. I'd just ask her if she had a chance to check her schedule.

[threemonkeys]

Ok - fact check - I'm a guy.

You might even say something like 'sorry I didn't hear back from you and I've had to make some other plans this weekend. Would you like to set something up for the next weekend?'

That way you're establishing that you have a life and aren't needy. You want to meet her, it's just that you're in demand due to your highly charged social life. Got it? Don't be needy. Women hate needy. Needy bad. Very bad.

This generalization brought to you not in part but in full by...me.

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by MrRolly

Definitely a tricky situation. If you guys are at a comfortable chatting level where you'll text/talk with each other often, then give her a friendly, not too pushy text. Something like, "Hey, hows your schedule lookin this weekend?" Considering she has made plans with you before, AND said yes to the date shows that you've reached a friendly level and shows she's interested in you in some way . It can go anywhere from here. Usually (at least in my experience) girls want the men to take the initiative to make plans, call, etc. Ladies loooovvvveeee to play hard to get, just one of the many games they'll play to get our attention. I know that nobody wants to be, "that guy," (none of us do ), but sometimes you have to be, "that guy," to get things to the next level. I'm not saying text her 24/7. But don't hold back too much, especially if you want to take things to the next level. Hope my helped! Keep us posted on how it goes!

Have you been dating too many "famous for being famous" celebrities? I would venture to say, as a rule, that any woman who loves to play hard to get and enjoys playing games is too immature and self-centered to be part of a quality relationship.

Maybe I'm just too out of touch with dating life to make any sense out of that mindset.

[Grissom]

I would simply ask her if she has had the opportunity to check her schedule yet, as if she is available, you would like to make those lunch arrangements, as the weekend is approaching........being direct and clear is always the best approach, in my opinion.

Good luck!

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by Widows Son

You're trying to figure out a female???!!!! (No offense to our fine ladies here at TRF). .

That's why he asked the ladies for advice, silly!

[TheVTCGuy]

OK, I'll throw in some serious notes here..... Proceed cautiously and slowly. She just got out of a relationship a month and a half ago and it was the guy who ended it.... I am sure, she is having conflicting feelings right now and that's why she hasn't contacted you about dinner. From what you say, no doubt she digs you, but I am sure, she is torn between her like of/having fun with you, and some lingering questions, doubts, wonderings about her old boyfriend; there has got to be a hesitation to start anything else up so soon. Got nothing to do with you but I am afraid if you're aggressive, you'll end up pushing her away. Sounds like things are progressing nicely right now... She knows you're interested, she obviously is too... But giver her a little space and time to sort things out from a month and a half ago, let her come to you when she's ready.

[MonBK]

[QUOTE=TheVTCGuy;2979041]OK, I'll throw in some serious notes here..... Proceed cautiously and slowly. She just got out of a relationship a month and a half ago and it was the guy who ended it.... I am sure, she is having conflicting feelings right now and that's why she hasn't contacted you about dinner. From what you say, no doubt she digs you, but I am sure, she is torn between her like of/having fun with you, and some lingering questions, doubts, wonderings about her old boyfriend; there has got to be a hesitation to start anything else up so soon. Got nothing to do with you but I am afraid if you're aggressive, you'll end up pushing her away. Sounds like things are progressing nicely right now... She knows you're interested, she obviously is too... But giver her a little space and time to sort things out from a month and a half ago, let her come to you when she's ready.[/QUOTE]

Good advice from someone who's still waiting.

[TheVTCGuy]

[QUOTE=MonBK;2979048]

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

OK, I'll throw in some serious notes here..... Proceed cautiously and slowly. She just got out of a relationship a month and a half ago and it was the guy who ended it.... I am sure, she is having conflicting feelings right now and that's why she hasn't contacted you about dinner. From what you say, no doubt she digs you, but I am sure, she is torn between her like of/having fun with you, and some lingering questions, doubts, wonderings about her old boyfriend; there has got to be a hesitation to start anything else up so soon. Got nothing to do with you but I am afraid if you're aggressive, you'll end up pushing her away. Sounds like things are progressing nicely right now... She knows you're interested, she obviously is too... But giver her a little space and time to sort things out from a month and a half ago, let her come to you when she's ready.[/QUOTE]

Good advice from someone who's still waiting.

I'm on my IPhone so can't do it.. Someone do the zap icon showing me disintegrating Monk....

[stephentross]

Good luck with your pursuit

[Lisa]

Originally Posted by The Joker

Wes, that guy cracks me up!

[Lisa]

Gretsch, how long did her previous relationship last?

[GothamG8or]

Originally Posted by cedargrove

Maybe she's uncomfortable mentioning dinner since it was you who invited her. Maybe she's just waiting for you to bring it up. I'd just ask her if she had a chance to check her schedule.

This!

Don't overcomplicate or overthink it... yes there are some other circumstances, but there always are. She's an adult, give her the benefit of the doubt until she demonstrates otherwise.

My bet is you'll be pleasantly surprised. If she just came out of a long relationship that she did not choose to end shhe may be a little gunshy about coming across too "needy/desperate" to you... & therefore letting you take the lead.

Good luck!