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Dr. Robert · 10 January 2012, 10:11 AM

Paul.......I have one word for you................."cougars"

chicfarmer1 · 10 January 2012, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cedargrove

It reads more like Paul assumed his own age was the issue.

Reread the initial post and you'll see that she made several comments denying/questioning/making a deal about age.

Lisa · 10 January 2012, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chicfarmer1

It's a little weird conversation, to me. Why would a 32-year-old make a big deal about you being 50? I don't get the problem, except that she framed it as a problem.

The takeaway: She was an immature 32-year-old. You were fine. It was pretty bad manners to make you feel awkward.

I haven't even read through the posts past yours, J - but that was my first thought. If she's 32, why would 50 be a big deal?

An age difference like that wouldn't faze most women that I know....

hdrazor251 · 10 January 2012, 12:16 PM

Doesn't she realize how many fine dining establishments offer AARP discounts?

Seriously though...if she was interested before she heard a number, the issues are hers and not you.

BarkMaster · 10 January 2012, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hdrazor251

Doesn't she realize how many fine dining establishments offer AARP discounts?

Lisa · 10 January 2012, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hdrazor251

Seriously though...if she was interested before she heard a number, the issues are hers and not you.

Agree. But I wonder... could she have been simply genuinely surprised that you look so much younger than you are? Maybe her gut reaction was disbelief... but not rejection... and you were just so sensitive to the age issue that perhaps you misconstrued her response. Maybe?

BarkMaster · 10 January 2012, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

Agree. But I wonder... could she have been simply genuinely surprised that you look so much younger than you are? Maybe her gut reaction was disbelief... but not rejection... and you were just so sensitive to the age issue that perhaps you misconstrued her response. Maybe?

There is a lesson in this argument: Instead of assuming rejection, go ahead and ask. The worst that can happen is the rejection that was assumed anyway, so it can't be worse... and perhaps it would bring a pleasant surprise!

fusionstorm · 10 January 2012, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Robert

Paul.......I have one word for you................."cougars"

Cougars like "cubs". Paul is a very mature cub, at best.......

Lisa · 10 January 2012, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fusionstorm

Cougars like "cubs". Paul is a very mature cub, at best.......

Well, Demi IS available now...

hdrazor251 · 10 January 2012, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

Well, Demi IS available now...

So is Phyllis Diller if you want to be the YOUNG cub again.

JasoninDenver · 10 January 2012, 01:20 PM

Paul:

Are you sue she was laughing "with" you rather than "at" you?

When I was living in a small Colorado college town I learned to always make the younger women feel like it was a challenge to get me to go out with them. Much more success that way.

How????

I would, in a joking manner, make it clear that I would like to go out with them, but could not even consider it because they were too "young" for me. They actually began to argue why they were not too young for me.

Worked like a dream. My best friend even convinced a woman 13 years younger than him to marry him this way. They have been happily married for 10 years now.

liptonnr · 10 January 2012, 01:23 PM

You never know if you don't try! Congrats on goin for it! Her loss...I'm sure!

FeelingTheBlues · 10 January 2012, 01:29 PM

Sorry to hear about that Paul! Have a beer on me to forget about her. If your age was a problem to her, she just doesn't deserve you!

Now let's get back to business! Are you sure you don't want to date my cousin? I'm sure she'll gladly shave her mustache for you!

Widows Son · 10 January 2012, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BarkMaster

+1

Girls in mid 30's & 50 yr old guys often make good pairs..

Yes, just ask my wife. And I have a 15 month old son in the nursery to prove it!!!!

TheVTCGuy · 10 January 2012, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chicfarmer1

It's a little weird conversation, to me. Why would a 32-year-old make a big deal about you being 50? I don't get the problem, except that she framed it as a problem.

The takeaway: She was an immature 32-year-old. You were fine. It was pretty bad manners to make you feel awkward.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

I haven't even read through the posts past yours, J - but that was my first thought. If she's 32, why would 50 be a big deal?

An age difference like that wouldn't faze most women that I know....

Will.... will one of you marry me?

threemonkeys · 10 January 2012, 02:57 PM

At least you went for it. Kudos to you.

TheVTCGuy · 10 January 2012, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

Agree. But I wonder... could she have been simply genuinely surprised that you look so much younger than you are? Maybe her gut reaction was disbelief... but not rejection... and you were just so sensitive to the age issue that perhaps you misconstrued her response. Maybe?

I've been single and in the dating world for a long time, and my perception is very good to begin with; you can tell the "level" of interest from a possible date in a social situation. Hers went from: "Hey, this guys kind of fun and funny" before the number was introduced to: "EWWWWWWWWWW" AFTER 50 came out... Trust me, the change was obvious and immediate.

You'd think I had just told her I was a walking test subject for cures of Sexually Trasmitted Diseases....

Gaijin · 10 January 2012, 03:19 PM

I am 50. My beautiful girlfriend is 35. We get along great.

Very common for there to be sometimes large age differences in couples here in Japan. Common and not cared about.

Hang in there Paul.

Speed · 10 January 2012, 03:30 PM

...or get SONY to move you overseas!

Lisa · 10 January 2012, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

I've been single and in the dating world for a long time, and my perception is very good to begin with; you can tell the "level" of interest from a possible date in a social situation. Hers went from: "Hey, this guys kind of fun and funny" before the number was introduced to: "EWWWWWWWWWW" AFTER 50 came out... Trust me, the change was obvious and immediate.

You'd think I had just told her I was a walking test subject for cures of Sexually Trasmitted Diseases....

Okay, I believe you. In which case, it wasn't very nice or polite of her to make you feel bad. I'm surprised that she reacted that way.

Maybe at this moment she's writing in her blog somewhere, "I really messed up a perfect opportunity with this great guy..."

Jocke · 10 January 2012, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Speed

...or get SONY to move you overseas!

No, please no.

FeelingTheBlues · 10 January 2012, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

Okay, I believe you. In which case, it wasn't very nice or polite of her to make you feel bad. I'm surprised that she reacted that way.

Maybe at this moment she's writing in her blog somewhere, "I really messed up a perfect opportunity with this great guy..."

Have to agree with this. Although she's entitled to her opinion there's a way to express it or to at least respectfully hide it a bit in order to avoid hurting anybody...

Grumpy Badger · 10 January 2012, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chicfarmer1

It's a little weird conversation, to me. Why would a 32-year-old make a big deal about you being 50? I don't get the problem, except that she framed it as a problem.

The takeaway: She was an immature 32-year-old. You were fine. It was pretty bad manners to make you feel awkward.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

I haven't even read through the posts past yours, J - but that was my first thought. If she's 32, why would 50 be a big deal?

An age difference like that wouldn't faze most women that I know....

I remember reading an old book that said the "ideal" difference was for the woman to be half the mans age plus 7...

Ergo, half of 50 is 25, plus 7 and... BINGO, 32!!!

If only you'd known, eh!?

Cru Jones · 10 January 2012, 10:05 PM

18 years is a bit of a stretch.....i mean, her dad might not be that much older than you. (don't mean that in a bad way, paul, just sayin'.)

either way, at least you had a nice flight. enjoy it for what it was.

Lisa · 10 January 2012, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grumpy Badger

I remember reading an old book that said the "ideal" difference was for the woman to be half the mans age plus 7...

Ergo, half of 50 is 25, plus 7 and... BINGO, 32!!!

If only you'd known, eh!?

But he'd have to get a new partner every couple years!

chicfarmer1 · 10 January 2012, 11:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheVTCGuy

Will.... will one of you marry me?

Oy. It's complicated out there.

daunwaun · 11 January 2012, 12:12 AM

Paul, seeing as you don't look a day over 64, maybe she was genuinely surprised you were only 50?

Dan2010 · 11 January 2012, 12:36 AM

This is why I have always dated older women. My wife is 6 years older than me. Younger women just don't seem to be on the same level. Like a fine wine, they just get better with age...........lol

DiamondJack · 11 January 2012, 12:45 AM

Instead of being presented with stereotypes by age, sex, colour, class, or religion, people should realise that within each range, some people are loathsome and some are delightful.

As Mark Twain once said.....Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you are. Women understand these stereotypes all to well and will rarely tell you their true age....even when asked..... although clearly you should never ask a woman her age

So why should guys divulge this information....... you are as old as you look or as old as people think you are .....simple as that...... Why put a label or number on it.... particularly as some people will inevitably have issues.

In my experience, a woman in her early to mid-thirties who has not settled down/had children etc.... (and clearly, I appreciate that I am generalising to a certain extent) will always be a bit more discerning about who they date as they are most likely to be looking more seriously for that special person and may not want to simply spend time just having "fun" with another most probably (because of your age) unsuitable guy.

But that's her issue and by admitting your age, you just put a big cross in one of her "relationship tick boxes"....

I would "hope" I would have said something like .....I'll tell you after dinner tonight...... or in the morning..... depending on how well things were going

Grumpy Badger · 11 January 2012, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa

But he'd have to get a new partner every couple years!

I should have been clearer, it was ideal age at time of marriage. Paul would have had to get his skates on!

10 January 2012, 10:11 AM	#31
Dr. Robert 2024 ROLEX DATEJUST41 Pledge Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Real Name: Bob Location: U.S.A. Watch: 1655 Posts: 61,482	Paul.......I have one word for you................."cougars" __________________ Founder & Card Carrying Member of the Global Association of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons

10 January 2012, 12:16 PM	#34
hdrazor251 "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Real Name: Jeff Location: Arizona Watch: is recovered!! Posts: 4,250	Doesn't she realize how many fine dining establishments offer AARP discounts? Seriously though...if she was interested before she heard a number, the issues are hers and not you. __________________ 16753 GMT Master, 16613 Bluesy, 16710 GMT Master II, 16570 Polar Explorer II-Stolen & Recovered!! Card Carrying Member of the Global Assoc. of Retro-Grouch-Curmudgeons

10 January 2012, 01:20 PM	#41
JasoninDenver 2024 Pledge Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Denver Posts: 4,140	Paul: Are you sue she was laughing "with" you rather than "at" you? When I was living in a small Colorado college town I learned to always make the younger women feel like it was a challenge to get me to go out with them. Much more success that way. How???? I would, in a joking manner, make it clear that I would like to go out with them, but could not even consider it because they were too "young" for me. They actually began to argue why they were not too young for me. Worked like a dream. My best friend even convinced a woman 13 years younger than him to marry him this way. They have been happily married for 10 years now. __________________ Jason 116610 LN DateJust Pelagos FXD

10 January 2012, 01:29 PM	#43
FeelingTheBlues "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Real Name: Carl Location: Always moving Watch: If you wish... Posts: 22,039	Sorry to hear about that Paul! Have a beer on me to forget about her. If your age was a problem to her, she just doesn't deserve you! Now let's get back to business! Are you sure you don't want to date my cousin? I'm sure she'll gladly shave her mustache for you! __________________ Mon corps c'est un pays en guerre sur l'point d'finir, Le général de l'armée de terre s'attend au pire, J'ai faim, j'ai frette, je suis trop faible pour me lever debout, On va hisser le drapeau blanc un point c'est tout. - André Fortin

11 January 2012, 12:12 AM	#57
daunwaun "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Real Name: Ken Location: toronto Watch: 18K YG Day Date Posts: 2,985	Paul, seeing as you don't look a day over 64, maybe she was genuinely surprised you were only 50? __________________ DAUNWAUN

10 January 2012, 01:23 PM	#42
liptonnr "TRF" Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Real Name: Nate Location: Pottsville, PA Watch: Sub-c LV, GMT's Posts: 988	You never know if you don't try! Congrats on goin for it! Her loss...I'm sure!

10 January 2012, 02:57 PM	#46
threemonkeys "TRF" Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Real Name: Craig Location: Seattle-ish, USA Watch: GMTIIc, AK, LVc Posts: 7,022	At least you went for it. Kudos to you.

10 January 2012, 03:19 PM	#48
Gaijin 2024 ROLEX DATEJUST41 Pledge Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Japan Watch: ing your back. Posts: 16,181	I am 50. My beautiful girlfriend is 35. We get along great. Very common for there to be sometimes large age differences in couples here in Japan. Common and not cared about. Hang in there Paul.

10 January 2012, 03:30 PM	#49
Speed "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: USA Posts: 19,695	...or get SONY to move you overseas!

10 January 2012, 10:05 PM	#54
Cru Jones 2024 ROLEX DATEJUST41 Pledge Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Paris, France Posts: 34,536	18 years is a bit of a stretch.....i mean, her dad might not be that much older than you. (don't mean that in a bad way, paul, just sayin'.) either way, at least you had a nice flight. enjoy it for what it was.

11 January 2012, 12:36 AM	#58
Dan2010 "TRF" Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: South Carolina Watch: Panerai 914 Posts: 6,540	This is why I have always dated older women. My wife is 6 years older than me. Younger women just don't seem to be on the same level. Like a fine wine, they just get better with age...........lol

11 January 2012, 12:45 AM	#59
DiamondJack "TRF" Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: London Watch: Quite a few Posts: 4,315	Instead of being presented with stereotypes by age, sex, colour, class, or religion, people should realise that within each range, some people are loathsome and some are delightful. As Mark Twain once said.....Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you are. Women understand these stereotypes all to well and will rarely tell you their true age....even when asked..... although clearly you should never ask a woman her age So why should guys divulge this information....... you are as old as you look or as old as people think you are .....simple as that...... Why put a label or number on it.... particularly as some people will inevitably have issues. In my experience, a woman in her early to mid-thirties who has not settled down/had children etc.... (and clearly, I appreciate that I am generalising to a certain extent) will always be a bit more discerning about who they date as they are most likely to be looking more seriously for that special person and may not want to simply spend time just having "fun" with another most probably (because of your age) unsuitable guy. But that's her issue and by admitting your age, you just put a big cross in one of her "relationship tick boxes".... I would "hope" I would have said something like .....I'll tell you after dinner tonight...... or in the morning..... depending on how well things were going

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