ROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEXROLEX

padi56 · 7 December 2005, 07:46 PM

Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's Blood
everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till
she's lying flat out on the floor.

Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"
----------------------------

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.

"How many children?" asks the council worker.

"10" replies the Essex girl

"10?" says the council worker. "What are their names?"

"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and

Wayne"

"Doesn't that get confusing?"

"Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing

in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or WAAYNE

GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..."

"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed

council worker.

"That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use their surnames"

----------------------------

An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on
the counter.
"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress."
she says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.
"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise

------------------------------

Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."

----------------------------

An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl notices
something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing. she says,
"Scuse me mate, I aint being funny or nuffink, but why doz one of your
wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?"
So the Irish guy smiles,puts down his glass of Guinness and replies,
"Well, oim a little bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me
roight foot and the one wit the L is for me Left foot"

"Cor blimey, exclaims the Essex girl, "So THATS why me knickers 'ave got C & A on them.

mailman · 7 December 2005, 09:02 PM

BruceS · 7 December 2005, 09:15 PM

dina · 8 December 2005, 01:38 AM

8 December 2005, 02:40 AM

So I take it Essex girls are a tad loose? Why am I only finding this out when I'm in my 40s and married?

padi56 · 8 December 2005, 02:55 AM

Nothing as easy as a Essex Girl.

JJ Irani · 8 December 2005, 03:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atomic

So I take it Essex girls are a tad loose? Why am I only finding this out when I'm in my 40s and married?

Too late, pal. Good ones, Padi!!

JIM- · 8 December 2005, 03:28 AM

Goodwatch · 8 December 2005, 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atomic

So I take it Essex girls are a tad loose? Why am I only finding this out when I'm in my 40s and married?

Remember the fire extinguisher mate, she'll never notice you're in

8 December 2005, 05:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

Remember the fire extinguisher mate, she'll never notice you're in

Wanna bet?

Goodwatch · 8 December 2005, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atomic

Wanna bet?

John, AKA "The Elephant Man?"

8 December 2005, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

John, AKA "The Elephant Man?"

Yep, that's what Mrs. Atomic calls me.

padi56 · 8 December 2005, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goodwatch

Remember the fire extinguisher mate, she'll never notice you're in

7 December 2005, 07:46 PM	#1
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,345	Essex Girl Jokes. Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's Blood everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the floor. Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed." Sharon: "Ok." Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?" Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!" ---------------------------- An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How many children?" asks the council worker. "10" replies the Essex girl "10?" says the council worker. "What are their names?" "Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne" "Doesn't that get confusing?" "Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to shout WAAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or WAAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..." "What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed council worker. "That's easy," says the Essex girl... "I just use their surnames" ---------------------------- An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise ------------------------------ Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator. The man says "Choose from our range on the wall." She says "I'll take the red one." The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher." ---------------------------- An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl notices something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing. she says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being funny or nuffink, but why doz one of your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?" So the Irish guy smiles,puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, "Well, oim a little bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me roight foot and the one wit the L is for me Left foot" "Cor blimey, exclaims the Essex girl, "So THATS why me knickers 'ave got C & A on them. __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

7 December 2005, 09:02 PM	#2
mailman TRF Moderator & DATE-JUST41 2024 Patron Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: . Watch: 126610LN Posts: 35,374	__________________ JJ

8 December 2005, 02:55 AM	#6
padi56 "TRF" Life Patron Join Date: Jun 2005 Real Name: Peter Location: Llanfairpwllgwyng Watch: ing you. Posts: 52,345	Nothing as easy as a Essex Girl. __________________ ICom Pro3 All posts are my own opinion and my opinion only. "The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop. Now is the only time you actually own the time, Place no faith in time, for the clock may soon be still for ever." Good Judgement comes from experience,experience comes from Bad Judgement,.Buy quality, cry once; buy cheap, cry again and again. www.mc0yad.club Second in command CEO and left handed watch winder

7 December 2005, 09:15 PM	#3
BruceS "TRF" Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Real Name: Sir Daft Location: Cornwall, UK Watch: Too many Posts: 2,464

8 December 2005, 01:38 AM	#4
dina "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Real Name: Dina Location: utica Posts: 1,392

8 December 2005, 02:40 AM	#5
Atomic Guest Posts: n/a	So I take it Essex girls are a tad loose? Why am I only finding this out when I'm in my 40s and married?

8 December 2005, 03:28 AM	#8
JIM- Banned Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 599

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)